i would reread this a few times, i thought it should of lasted longer though. but i liked it
You have dangled a story in front of me that needs more. More story, more mystery, more paranormal,This is a great short read. I have given you a star for your talent!./Joe
This story has great potential. Perhaps you could re-write it into a longer story and start at the beginning with Sheila's accident...all the events leading up to what happened to her then move it forward in time to their discovery about her haunting and maybe build it toward helping the girl pass into the light. It also has a lot of potential for a suspense story if you wanted to make it more of a nail biter.
I thought your book was very entertaining. It read more like a tall tale (is that what they call them?)instead of a story. With it being so short, I feel as if there shouldn't have been any typing errors. Someone gave me a tip to read backwards, I miss so many errors in my work, even after other people have read it for accuracy. I can tell from your writing that you have more passion and creativity in you so don't hold back,... Show more
Thank you for participating in our short
story writing contest "Travel Stories".
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