BookRix

I didn't think it went through. Sometimes it is really slow on my end.

I love stories like this one, and in my mind the biggest issue facing any writer is to have a good tale to tell. You have this, so 3/4 of your work is done. Next comes editing. This is assuming you have this completely finished in rough draft form. I never worry about editing until after I get the rough draft finished. You don't want to interrupt the flow of the story. What I've done is taken your first paragraph, your opening, and reworked it for you. Right now the wording and punctuation is coming across a bit awkward, but this is fairly easy to fix. I just need to type it up and I'll pass it along privately. Good start. I'll look forward to reading more.

I love stories like this one, and in my mind the biggest issue facing any writer is to have a good tale to tell. You have this, so 3/4 of your work is done. Next comes editing. This is assuming you have this completely finished in rough draft form. I never worry about editing until after I get the rough draft finished. You don't want to interrupt the flow of the story. What I've done is taken your first paragraph, your opening, and reworked it for you. Right now the wording and punctuation is coming across a bit awkward, but this is fairly easy to fix. I just need to type it up and I'll pass it along privately. Good start. I'll look forward to reading more.

Thanks to all for the feedback and complements. Please stay tuned, I'm trying to put out a new part every week or so.

CREEEPY!!!! at first I was SO sure it was going to be the cat, with the messed up rooms and the smell in the bathroom(cat caught a mouse?) and everything, but I couldn't figure out the knives everywhere and the...stuff in the bathroom. WHO IS THAT GUY??? Guess it's on to the second one! :)
~lacy

The action is very well described.The character,Allison, built in your book is very well conceived.Thank you for sharing,Mari.

Very creepy. At first I thought that it was her imagination, but no. Then I thought maybe the cat(who I still don't trust) but then too many things were happening. Need to know more about this cliffhanger.
Laz
Ps check out some of the spelling.