Hi there! I've seen your work and I'd like to commend you for having such talent and imagination. Your works of art shouldn't be limited and should be recognized by many. Maybe you'd like to check out N0velStar and consider joining their competition this April.
i love this book so far please write more and tell me
In your second sentence of the first paragraph there seems to be an adjective missing from the sentence...
when the character hears the other voices I would describe them a little to make the reader aware they are seperate entities..adding descriptives like: "said, in a deep male voice."
Keep at it..We all are here to help each other...remember F7 on your keyboard...spellcheck lol
Of course it's worth continuing, Sami. You have the right ingredients; an into, that with a bit of rework is very good, plus the inciting incident and tension-building. Yes, keep working on it:)