It seems like you have a good start on this. Running it through a spell check wouldn't hurt, but other than that you have an intriguing start. My only question is on the last paragraph you put down that the first week a girl asked Clare if she'd eat her. I want to make sure I'm understanding it right, it's basically public knowledge that Clare's a vampire? Also, make sure to always start a new paragraph for dialogue. Other... Show more
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