This is good for your first time.
Heres some tips for you to make it even better:)
Put "" Inbetween whos saying and when e.g
"Hello how are you?" Reanne asked Jack. Jack lifted his head up to meet Reanne's gaze. "I'm fine thanks."
Maybe add a little descrition intbetween talking too.Search Calypso at the top and look at the book stevie.grace has put on. Read how she has described everything. Once you have put in place the ""... Show more
i have waited awhile for someone to comment on this story so thank you. The character Reanne was based on me back in a time of my life when i almost hit rock bottem Someone i loved walked out of my life without so much as a goodbye. Life is good for me now so im having a hard time trying to finish Sabastian cause i dont have the same emotion running threw me. I also need to find an editor and been reluctant to do so cause i... Show more
Your story is very descriptive, & your characters have a lot of depth.
Chris
thanks for you comments
Thank you, for sharing your story. It was truly enjoyable.
its not finished. I finally put my pen down with the other stories i was writing and started writting the next journey for Sabastian and Reanne which is Reanne facing sabastians father
Please, message me as you add more.
will do its finding time thats the problenm i have a three year girl and by the time i put here to bed im real tired