BookRix

Liked what you have written so far. Let me know when you have more.....

Hi Thanks for all your suggestions :)
And about the title not being on the cover-I don't know how that happened too ahaha
I'll let you know when I update it again :) and I'll message when I get a writer's block :D
Thankyou!

You know where this is going, and I think you should take it there.

You certainly have me hooked and can't wait to read more! Very creative avenue on a much beloved character.

It's very clever and has great possibilities. Your blurb implies you already know where you want this to go, so write a little more - you may find you don't need any help with the direction of the story, something you asked for in your message.

I'm curious - why isn't the actual title on the cover? It's inside, but not outside, lol!

You have some serious basic grammar issues, but as you continue to work on this, I'm sure those will get fixed. One or two things in the prologue that might make it read a little better: first, don't do it in all caps. It's unnecessary, especially since this part reads like a newspaper article or police report. Also, when you say "shall no longer be named," the implication is that the name has been given at least once already, yet it hasn't - at least not to the readers of this story as it stands. I'm pretty sure I get what you mean by that, but it would make more sense to use the well-worn phrase, "shall remain anonymous."

I look forward to reading your continuation. The "Alice" stories have always been my all-time favorite books; I've read them so many times, I practically have them memorized. In fact, over the years I did memorize all the poetry in them. I also read both books to my kids when they were young, so yeah, I have a soft spot for any stories based on the "Alice" character! "D

Let me know if you want any help with editing, or just need ideas once you've gone farther with it. Great concept - I absolutely love your imagination!