You write extremely well for such a young person. I don't particularly think the pace is that slow, however, consider trying this: you open in exposition, summarizing who the character is very briefly. Perhaps open in-scene where young Lucy walks up the path with Katherine to her "new home." Re-insert the backstory as you move through the narrative. Whenever you "tell" instead of show, the story slows.
When you open in action... Show more
You write extremely well for such a young person. I don't particularly think the pace is that slow, however, consider trying this: you open in exposition, summarizing who the character is very briefly. Perhaps open in-scene where young Lucy walks up the path with Katherine to her "new home." Re-insert the backstory as you move through the narrative. Whenever you "tell" instead of show, the story slows.
When you open in action the reader is engaged immediately. Once you are in scene the pace usually quickens, unless you dwell on too many inconsequential things. Remember, also, to ground the reader so that he/she knows where they are, providing details as needed. Read Stevie.grace's opening pages for "Calypso". She does this extremely well.
Ok! I'm Hannah. Nice to "meet" you ;)
:) xo
xD