BookRix

In the first paragraph, you have two beautifully. Beware of repetition.

"Who is that?" they said and scowled. (This though, did both of them say it at the same time or was it one of them?)

Write small numbers as words. 3 tequilas becomes three tequilas.

It's Damn and not Dam, on page 4.

On pg 7 the dialogue is a bit repetitive. Bridget says girl and then Bianca does the same. You have one saying coming over, while the other replies come on over. Try fixing it.

These girls sure are nosy and jealous. I do hope noone like them come to live next door.