BookRix

Thanks Kashers for the great feedback. I really appreciate it. This is a non-fiction piece I wrote for a class in college. My style/language is sort of simple, so I really try to make the details pop.

You're not the first person to notice the grapes. Someone suggested that it hinted at overindulgence. Plus, grapes are packed with symbolism. It's "the fruit of the gods" sort of thing. The speed eating of the grapes is based on the anxiety I have around my family (basically I don't realize how fast I'm eating). The story kind of puts me in a better light in comparison to my parents ( even the food...gooey/sloppy chicken).

So there is some complexity to the story. And I'm glad that these details have some depth to them, aside from being true events.

Thanks again!

sooooo much Petra, I'm really glad you liked it :)

is the perfect title for the theme of such a broken home. The tragedy is expressed beautifully through the narrator! An intriguing read, Amber!

Good luck in the contest, Petra :))

Thanks paulashene and everyone else for the continued support! I appreciate it so much, it's a real boost in the old confidence :)

And for those who have asked me to read their submissions, I am doing my best to get to them if I haven't already. So many wonderful books here!

Good-luck to you all!

I read your book several days ago - gave a star and a vote - just realized did not comment. Everyone has said it all - great book...Paula

Great job on your story! You had me from the get go! Excellent!

You conveyed the anger and misery right from the word go.
Good luck!

Hi Amber,

I thought you used some important skills in the telling of your story. There was simile, metaphor and interesting description. You also 'showed' the reader what was happening rather than 'told'. I think you have some important skills and will continue to improve over time. Good luck.

Could I ask that you give my book a read. It's called 'Chameleon'. I've also entered it into the family stories comp.

Hi Amber,

I thought you used some important skills in the telling of your story. There was simile, metaphor and interesting description. You also 'showed' the reader what was happening rather than 'told'. I think you have some important skills and will continue to improve over time. Good luck.

Could I ask that you give my book a read. It's called 'Chameleon'. I've also entered it into the family stories comp.

Hi Amber,

I thought you used some important skills in the telling of your story. There was simile, metaphor and interesting description. You also 'showed' the reader what was happening rather than 'told'. I think you have some important skills and will continue to improve over time. Good luck.

Could I ask that you give my book a read. It's called 'Chameleon'. I've also entered it into the family stories comp.