What a great story! It grabbed me at the very beginning, and I am anxious to read more. The author made me feel like I was there, and I experienced everything the main character was going through. Her words are alive. She paints a realistic picture of the life of a young woman sold into slavery. Stevie is writing a marvelous story. Serena

I'm reading this backward! I started with Chapter One! Oh well.

I'm thinking; this short intro is what a prologue is all about! It contains backstory and a DEFINITE hook. A bit like Arthur Colden's, Memoirs of a Geisha. I am not what I was many years ago, and I will tell you how I came to be a princes:)

Great, Stevie!

first person to me....great opening - nice, nice, cover...p

I'm super excited about this one. :) The first official chapter is in the works. Between life and work and life and crazy, I hope to have it up soon. :) I'm seriously blushing to my roots with your words.

Thanks to Wendy for turning me on to this start of what appears to be an enthralling story. Loved all of it - especially your wonderfully descriptive turn of phrase. Wendy's concern with the sentence I can see. If you change Him to him, it will be fine. Just uncapitalize the "H" and it should flow better.

I, too, look forward to reading more of this story which I bet will be a corker.

Your writing in this fine story made me lament the absence of any further chapters. I was absorbed from the onset and fascinated by the girl's story, that she would be a slave turned princess.

I got a taste of an Arabian Nights kind of set-up and imagined the man who gave her the parcel of cheese to look just like Marc with a veil covering his handsome face.

An opener like this is so clever. It is what i strive to achieve but often fail at; delivering a taster without having to give the reader the meat and bones.

One tiny crit. You wrote 'but him...Him I loved. I've been chewing it over and perhaps it is correct, but it made me falter a little when i read it. Don't get me wrong...the phrase is stunning at the end of that paragraph, truly powerful, but I wondered if it should have read 'but he...He I loved.' Even now I'm not sure so maybe you should forget i said anything. i just wanted to chuck the thought in as one that could perhaps be deliberated.

Overall...and I never say this, I can't wait for you to put another chapter up. Who doesn't love a good old rags to riches story, especially when there's a princess involved?

Good luck with it.
Wendyxx

stevie.grace_1318473083.7023029327

keep working on this book i am interested to see how it turns out.