You captured their emotions well. Good job.

This was very touching.

It's well imagined and told in a very brief way - but compelling all the same.

Good work.

No one can imagine the great tragedy of the Titanic but the survivors themselves. This was a piece that undoubtfully took an incredible amount of patience and thought. Details and emotions are spot-on. I especially liked how you mentioned the Titanic at the end of the piece.

The only problem I saw was problems with punctuation. For example:

"Come with us, please John. Please." she begged.

In character speech, a comma will usually come before the second quotation. Depending on the situation, it can also be an exclamation or a question mark. Examples:

* "Come with us, please John. Please," she begged.

* "Come with us, please John. Please!" she begged.

* "Come with us, please John. Please?" she begged.

Other than that, as a young writer myself, I am deeply impressed. 8D

The story is compelling in it's simplicity. It touches the emotions of the moment, and brings the reader into the scene.

Just a couple of suggestions for your consideration. In the first paragraph you repeat Ruth many times. As this is all in the same paragraph you should consider using more pronouns to refer to her. She is already the main focus of the paragraph.

Also you might try to combine the two sentences where you refer to raising a family together, and raising little William together.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story. It was well thought out, and well written.

I am entering this in the K2C contest here is the link.

http://www.bookrix.com/_groupforum-en-revised-kind-to-comment-k2c-contest-may-june-entry-thread.html

So many stories that could be written about this tragic event. Well done.

Review - What strong emotions you evoke in this short story. You have grasped well those last moments of panic and pain. Then went on to present it in words with great impact.

Awesome job. Robynn