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patricia.books.works

Your book held my attention. I enjoyed reading the story.

Be careful how you use your. Sometimes, you need to use you're. If you can substitute you are in the sentence for you're, and it makes sense, use you're. Example: You're going to get my vote, because you can substitute you are for you're in the sentence. If I say the girl read your book, I use your.

You have a wonderful story! I will vote for your book.

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lovingempath

A classically tragic tale that captures the attention of many readers. I love this type of reading.
Much of your story is written in dialog, and I've just learned recently that each switch in speakers should be given it's own paragraph for easier reading. Lucky for me...I have very little dialog that needed to be switched around. It also sounds like you are going through some professional editing for additional chapters. That... Show more

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mag1207

Yes, i do have some issues with my tenses that I am working on. Thank you for the suggestions!

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petra michelle

was a powerful story, Margarita, and beautifully written! Considering all that she had endured, you were able to
inject hope! That's how I read the ending!

I love Isabel Allende. It has a similiar feel in writing style! Mauricia has my vote! Lovely! Petra :))

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mag1207

You can read the remaining chapters at my blog maggie-atthecafe.blogspot.com. I am still working on the book, but please be advised it is a work in progress and needs to be edited and material added. Thanks again!

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mirandabm

What a sad life this girl led,and you describe it with such feeling. I wasn't sure about the change to the present tense in a couple of places, but you had my attention - I read to the end and wanted to know more: what happened to her in the end? Did she find happiness? Did Francisco die and did his horrible wife get the house? Lots of questions, but I enjoyed it. keep writing!

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mag1207

Thank you for the add and comment. I truly enjoy this site. A lot to get through but I will eventually get familiarized with it.

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librarian

Thank you for participating in our short
story writing contest "Family Stories".

The Librarian

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adina40

very powerful and inspirational life story!
Good luck in the contest. if you get a chance stop by story:)

TwoMemories

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paulashene

I enjoyed this look into your grandmother's life...insightful and a compelling read...Paula