It is really good I hope you write more of it would really like to find out what happens between these to people and what would affect them being with each other please write more.
It is really good I hope you write more of it would really like to find out what happens between these to people and what would affect them being with each other please write more.
Val said....yes, lets have the rest of this romance or tragedy as your spirit leads..P
A nice start...you set the mood very well. I look forward to seeing the rest of it. Just go back, if you will, and correct your tenses. In some sentences you have past and present concurrently (I would eliminate ALL present tenses). Change the word "lover" to "lovers." Let me know when you have written more. . . .