Interrupting spelling errors and punctuation errors disturb the flow of the story. If you have taken care of those things, the story will be a nice one.

Your story was so funny and scary. I think you have a wild imagination. Keep up the writing, sweet.

Good luck.

Bek

very nice love the idea concept very powerful, although you could add some punctuation ,i really love it and wow your good at your age, just use capitalizations punctuations and you are good to go( very cool) ^-^

Your story line was good but you need some work on spelling and punctuation. Check to see what words should be in capitals. A proof read will help to make things right. I am not giving you these comments to discourage you; I am interested in helping you. You have a talent and to make things right some editing needs to happen. You have a good start./joeparente

That is very good for someone your age! My only suggestion is adding some punctuation, though. It's a little difficult to read. Apart from that creepy idea!

Thank you for participating in our
poetry writing contest "Winter & Poems".

______
BookRix - your place to read, write and
network free literature on the Internet.