The story line is good, but it needs work. It went a little fast, and I was trying to figure some of it out. Oh and don't forget to edit your story, it would be a whole lot more better if it was edit. But other then that it was really good.

cool @_@

was a good story i really enjoyed it.

plz finish dis book. i BEG U!!

it's almost better then twilight i loved it and can't wait 2 read the 2nd book!!!

make it a little longer misspelled three or four words

thanks =D