Yeah all I have is basic knowledge on how to write. The past and present, I'll give that a few more reads before I decide how to straighten it out, but if its not too much trouble could you point out a couple of them?

This reminds me of some of the best science-fiction I've read in the past - I love your use of color/sound to define dimensional realities. Awesome. This deserves to become a full-length novel. I'll be messaging you with an idea that might help with some of the grammar and paragraphing issues. But dang! What a great read!

I'm still work on the conversation bit, I don't know how to structure it. My biggest problem is I'm in a fork in the road with the story.

I'm still impressed with the amount of imagination you have. I was able to follow along and picture what was happening, although there were point when I got lost. But I think it's just my lack of knowledge in the science fiction genre.

I love Marie. Her questions and natural curiosity is fun. And I liked her comment about "Texas".

The only problem that I had was the structure of the paragraphs. I was able to tell who was talking but their were no paragraph breaks to automatically inform me who was talking. (If that make any sense) I'm not sure If this is done on purpose or not.

Over all I found the story engaging and unique. It's a shame you haven't gotten more clicks or hearts.

Your're a talented writer with a gifted imagination.

Miya

I'm not even on your level. Your imagination is beyond me. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on....give me a second. I'm gonna try this again.

wow your description is gorgeous I really like where your stories going. Keep me updated please

Oh my gosh really you think so?! Cause I've been trying to redefine the story and for me the simpler the jist the better. Thanks a lot for the input, I'm going to try to tweak it a little more.

You have quite the imagination!
If you throw in some paragraphs and shorten some sentences, you have a winner./Joeparente

I think, it´s very good. I don´t understand all, but this is good! The less we understand, the better it is! (German proverb) ;D

So, its very great!!

Carry