Didn't see that ending coming at all!

Good luck! Petra :))

Hi Ben! I voted for this; well observed and sparely written. But I think it does well as a short story, with the twist at the end. I am not interested in being told the rest of the story.
Anne

I'm thinking of amiking this a longer story now, as a few people have said I should continue it. I really thankful for you reading it and for your great feedback.

Great read... clasic flash with a good twist.

An original piece Ben! Interesting read with a suprising ending :) Well done!

Thanks everyone. It makes writing so worthwhile when it is enjoyed.

Wow, I really enjoyed reading your work..

Good story. I didn't expect that end. I like the beginning of the story, really let me as a reader see the surroundings.

Thanks Dave! I'm currently trying to write a novel, as everyone else no doubt!

Hey mate keep on writing good story. Would like to see more!