For an 18 year old, you show great promise as a great writer. If the rest of the book is as good as this 'snipet', I have no doubts that it will be also excellent. But please finish it before you die...lol.
Oh! Sorry for scaring you! >.< Hehe, my logic has always been like: If I see the same title of the story on a different website, it's that writer! Then I say OMG HI! XD