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I knew it, she has lots of secrets to reveal don't she? It seems he does too.
Love what you added to the story.
I knew it, she has lots of secrets to reveal don't she? It seems he does too.
Love what you added to the story.
I freakin' love this book!!! I love Ivelesse. She's just... great. Your writing is pretty fluid, and I don't see many mistakes, so far anyways. Just keep writing, because this is like my addiction!
Review: It started out gritty, with a down home feel. I connected with the yearnings of the main character, searching for a love connection. I found the flow of the story to be quick and to the point. I especially enjoyed the day spent at amusement park and the history related there. The discussion with the bat was humorous, though a tad long. Overall, I enjoyed the read. Nice job.
Sorry that the conversation was long...I was a bit unsure on how to end it exactly.
And thank you so very much for giving it a read and a review. I hope you like the next few scenes to come.
First of all...well done. Very believable. You painted a story I was able to witness...like I was him, her, or a fly on the wall.
I hope it took you a while to write this. Otherwise I would be jealous if you did this with ease....lol.
Please don't take too long to finish it. My memory ain't what it used to be.
I really enjoyed this story Angely. You have captured the deep loneliness of both your characters so well, his outwardly desperation for love. Her inwardly struggle to protect herself from it.
The coney island part underlined her life somewhat, even hinted at perhaps some childhood struggles. I would love to see where you take this character.
I have a few friends that are like her, who were in the life. They kept themselves... Show more
Thank you so much! It means a lot that you liked it. I tried my best to keep it subtle yet there...I hate just saying it straight out "she is a prostitute".
According to the feedback I get, I should be posting a few other scenes in the next week :)
I'm looking forward to reading the next chapters. Please let me know when, I'm into them now!
I love the song, and this book sounds kind of awesome in an edgy sort of way. :) Can't wait to read!
Thank you! Hope you enjoy how I incorporated the song with the story
I am enjoying this. Sexy, thought-provoking, very descriptive. Nice work!
Bon Iver - Knew it right away :)
Now I'll take a gander inside the book!
It's a beautiful story, and I'm wondering what kind of ending it will have. I can imagine it being really sad, but I also think that it's serious enough to pull off happy ending without seeming cliche or uncharacteristic.
I'm having trouble understanding why he loves her so... Show more
Thank you!!! As for her appeal, the narrator is just a sucker for hard to get women...She shows more of her weak side from time to time. And once again thank you for giving it a read :)
Loved it. I agree with Adam. The hints to 'her line of work' are subtle. Is there going to be more to the story? I hope so.
There will be more clues as it goes along. This is just the first half, but if you have any suggestions as to what can be improved once the entire thing is up, I'd really appreciate it :) and thank you so much for reading.
Hmm. I didn't see any "mentionable" indication of prostitution either. But there's hints behind it - she's taking advantage of him, and so we can get the idea that she's done so with other men.
I thought this was very well written - few mistakes, an easy-going storyline, and even some good old humor!
I liked the sarcasm when mentioning the "good things about ghetto carnivals".
Also, I agree with her description of the beer... XD
Loved it!!!
Thank you! Trust me, this took a while.
Good...I think...lol.
It's almost done! I promise, in about a week or so, I'll have the rest of the story up. I'm just waiting for more feedback regarding what's up so far. And thank you so much for reading again :)
Of course, I can't stop! :D I think another song that kind of fits this story is Lipstick Warrior by Dirty Green Vinyl. It's a different genre of music than Bon iver, but it's still a great song. Anyways, continue with Ivelesse because I need to know what happens next.