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Deleted User

I'm really loving this book! It just keeps getting better and better!write more soon please?! ^_^

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Deleted User

KODA!!!
WRITE. MORE. NOW.

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lilprincess1

...............

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Deleted User

Keep going Dude! Don't stop! This is gonna be great!!!

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alsevp13

What happens next?! I ask myself. My response: I don't know! I let you do all the work, self!

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Deleted User

Verry cool! I hope u write more of this book. PLEASE DO!!!

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alsevp13

Thank you very much! I will work on it every chance! Thank you! :)

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Deleted User

Hello Dakota,
Your story is very good -- the content is excellent, as is the story line, and even the dialogue is natural, not forced. If I were to suggest anything, it would be to pay more attention to paragraphs. Start a new one with each new idea or thought. I'm certainly no expert, but I would have to say you show a lot of promise. Go for it! I will look forward to the rest of the tale (smiling).
Warmest regards,
CJ

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alsevp13

Page 1- four sense. Should be four senses

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alsevp13

Well it's like in the movies with commercials, they cut it off right at the good part. I will be adding more soon, just not at the moment. I will give you all updates.

And hint- He's gonna go through a life-changing experience very soon. ;)

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