TABLE OF CONTENTS

Agonia........................................................3

Blue Devils...................................................4

Chant for Happiness......................................5

Cold.............................................................6

Declaration of Love........................................7

Futile............................................................8

I am.............................................................9

In Solitude...................................................10

Inner thoughts of a Jester.............................11

Is it too much?.............................................12

It comes at night..........................................13

My Girl..........................................................14

Still...............................................................15

The Sea.........................................................16

Thoughts........................................................17

Valuable.........................................................18

Where to?......................................................19

Why I love rainy days.....................................20

Withered Leaf................................................21

Withered Leaf (cont.).....................................22

How True......................................................23

When You're Gone.........................................24

F.V.C.K.............................................................25

REVERSE......................................................26

HOW I WISH...............................................27

TIRED OF WAKING UP..................................28

AGONIA

Thoughts of loneliness

doesn't seem to break apart

even though the heart's

always yearning for

happiness and for love.

what does it feel to

have real joy on yourself

cause I've been stuck

in my sorrow and pain

longing to be free

in my own prison cell.

~melancholy

BLUE DEVILS

 

 

Gloomy and dark

and sorrowful nights

sadness, it's like an

ambush in our lives

you were happily going through

then suddenly, it strikes.

 

It will slowly kill you

mentally and emotionally

with discomfort

it will make you feel useless

and it will make you feel tired of everything.

~melancholy

CHANT FOR HAPPINESS

 

 

Gloomy feelings

let me go

I don't want

to associate with you

you make me feel

I'm worthless too.

 

Joyous feelings

come to me

you're one thing

I ought to be

when I have you

I feel people

wanting me.

~melancholy

COLD

 

 

Stunning stars in the midnight sky

with the cold wind blowing from the south

makes me remember the best mem'ries

of us lovers,

from the time we've first met

and those joyful moments.

You're the one who taught me

to not fake my smile and laughs,

to the time when we have to say goodbye

to each other, I guess forever.

Your picture pops up randomly every time

in my mind and throwbacks

those beautiful scenes that makes

me feel happy and sad.

Sad, because I know that those will never

happen no more.

Happy, 'cos I've experienced the most

beautiful thing that'll happen

in every man's life

that is being in love...

truly.

~melancholy

DECLARATION OF LOVE

" Oh I see no other woman

as beautiful as you

your fairness, it makes every

other women envy you

you've got that smile that every

men who could see it will surely melt

I'll give you my love darling

please take it

I'll give you my best my love,

so we could make it

answer me yes , I beg your love"

 "You're the man that makes

my heart beats like a drum

when I see you I feel joy and fun

my world pauses when you were there

boy, only you among all men

makes me feel like this

babe, you are the one who could

give me real happiness...so yes"

 "Yes thanks my darling you gave me that

now I'm the happiest man alive

I'll give you all you want I promise

I'll give you all my love, this is my pledge

let's be happy darling

let's make love

the world is ours tonight."

~melancholy

 

FUTILE

 

I always fail at every thing I do

I'm a no good man

no matter how hard i try

I always fail, I do

failures have drowned me

into the depth of sorrows

I've been stuck into this pit of loneliness.

it's been dark and scary in this abyss.

I've been screaming,yelling for some help

but no one seems to hear me...

help me!

please throw me a rope of hope

and pull me up...

help me!

please don't let me make the death as my last resort.

~melancholy

 

I AM

 

 

Always thinking

what is my worth.

was I born to be

together with despair?

sadness consumes me everynight

sometimes i couldn't bear

what would I do

to escape this pain?

a little more

and I'm gonna be insane.

How should I end this?

should I tie a rope

and hang myself?

or pop a pill

and sleep to death?

~melancholy

IN SOLITUDE

 

Thought you were the one

who could pull me up

but it ended up

leaving me alone in the dark

why'd you do such a thing

didn't you know how much

hurt it brings?

Here I am longing for you,

missing you and waiting for

your presence to come along

feels like wanting you, liking you

and loving you is my agony.

Didn't you love me?

why'd you leave me?

ah! I'm a burden anyway

until when had i to deal

with this vanity?

Everytime I find myself

in solitude

I'm feeling empty.

~melancholy

INNER THOUGHTS OF A JESTER

 

 

I had the jokes that make you happy

made people laugh at every party

I do tricks that made the

children filled with awe

while the others drop their jaws

"He's so happy while he give people joy"

you opined.

Well,this time,for you

I speak the sooth,

behind this mask I wore

behind this bright smile

is a sadness I've always endure.

It is a dark,heavy cloud above me

that anytime would fall

but as I wander my eyes afar

I saw these clouds slowly creeping

above you all...

so I put on my mask again

I made you laugh to forget the pain

I put a smile on your faces

to brighten up your days,

so you won't have to feel

this funny jester's pain.

~melancholy

IS IT TOO MUCH?

 

We held it's other's hands

firmly in the past

afraid of losing each other

and breaking apart,

wishing everyday...

'til death do us part'

but it wasn't in my knowledge

I am gripping to tight.

I was too scared to lose you

I ended up hurting you

now you've left me all alone

all promises are gone

can't blame you though...

'cos I know it's all my fault.

If I had known too soon

that it'll lead to this

then I maybe not

too overprotective

as if I'm strangling your neck.

~melancholy

IT COMES AT NIGHT

 

It comes at night

a sudden sadness

It comes at night

a monster under my bed

waking me up every night.

It reminds me of all the things I had done

makes me reminisce all of my stupidity

under the scorching sun

I look around my room

and there was none

all I see is darkness,

there's nowhere to run

I held a pillow in my hand

a pillow is all I have

a pillow is what I hug

the stains on my pillow

caused by tears

the only witness

how blue life is.

~melancholy

MY GIRL

 You're my girl

the one I have

you were my first

the one I've truly loved

happiness is what I feel

everytime when you are near.

Every talk, every bond

and the good times we've had

is a treasure that is worth

to keep in hand

how happy i am

when I had you in my heart.

But everything changes

even seasons and weather

including the love

we've shared together.

Since you left

I feel sad

you were my first love

and my first break up

but I'll never forget

the bad and good times

and all the memories we've had...

I never will...

'cos you are my

first true love.

~melancholy

STILL

 

It's been years since we've been away

but the way I felt for you

since the day I started loving you

is still the same

it never fades.

What kind of spell have you casted upon?

that I'm still missing you

since the day you've been gone

what sort of potion would I use

to stop this madness for you?

~melancholy

THE SEA

 

Amazed by your beauty

I can never stop gazing

the reflections from the skies

makes your clear waters

amazingly blue.

Along with the sunshine,

the sparkles you make

is so much satisfying

the softness of the wind

that makes your waves

so peaceful and calm

is a soothe

to my lonely soul.

~melancholy

THOUGHTS

 

 

What good is a new day

if it's light doesn't even shine upon me?

 

or maybe... it does...

 

It's just that my own shadow's

too massive, too dark

that it doesn't let me see

even just a glimpse of light.

~melancholy

VALUABLE

 

Diamonds and golds
and precious pearls.
stunning and priceless things
worth keeping
just as you are that is worth loving
don't need to dig tunnels
just to find such gems
'cause I've already got
a real treasure,
and that is you...my darling.

~melancholy

WHERE TO?

Was I born to be desperate for life

always searching for attention

always seeking for love

I am a traveler that has

been lost from it's path

finding someone to act as

a northstar that will

guide me through my path

when will this journey end?

~melancholy

WHY I LOVE RAINY DAYS

 

Lightning strikes

thunders rumbling

across the skies

here comes the rain

don't let it go

just let it pour

I want it to

 

I wanna walk

in the rain

just to cry to

so nobody

could see

these tears

in my eyes flow.

~melancholy

WITHERED LEAF

I was once fresh, young and new

a bright color, greenish hue

I am one with the tree

a crown of it's glory.

People who sees as they pass me by

all of them had only one thing in mind

"what a beauty of nature,

how pleasing in the eye"

what a lovely word to hear

when they talk about me

I feel inspired.

 

WITHERED LEAF (cont.)

 

But seasons and weather

have change my beautiful color

once fresh and had a shade of green,

like a precious emerald gem.

and people had loved me then.

but now I am old and brown

just a little touch of wind

and surely I will tear down.

was once hanging in the tree

now I've fallen on the ground.

people used to raise their heads,

only just to see my beauty...

but now as they pass by

they just only step their foots on me...

I guess that was my fate

was once young, green and great

now I'm just an old brown withered leaf.

~melancholy

HOW TRUE

You're just a girl in stage of puberty

what you feel today can vanish one day

maybe in your heart it's not love that occur

i think it's infatuation what they call

how you see me today probably will

change one day

that day is when you find a

guy who's better than me

or when you realise that crushes are

normal in the stage of puberty

when you get older it will cast away

that's why think carefully

how true are your feelings can be

perfect love stories you've seen in movies

doesn't really exists

it's only a picture of the mind

that is called fantasies.

~melancholy

WHEN YOU'RE GONE

 

Come take my hand...

together let us gaze

upon the afternoon skies.

Where their colors turning oranges

into reds...

When the birds fly back into their nests..

Stay with me all through the night,

let the celestial bodies be our light.

Would you fit your hands into mine?

Let us go to a place where no one can find...

Stay there till the break of dawn,

make memories that we'll treasure all along...

'cos I'll miss you when you were gone,

I'll yearn for the softness of your hands...

Do you ever need to leave?

~melancholy

F.V.C.K

O life, why must you hit me hard?

why do you give me pain?

are you tryin' to worsen my life

that's already miserable?

please just make it bearable

you know, Im vulnerable.

~melancholy

REVERSE

Don't cry when my time must come

I'm not worthy for

your precious tears.

Don't petty me when I'm

broke and all alone

don't need you in this darkened room.

when I'm in despair,

don't comfort me,

I may not listen

to your words.

~melancholy

HOW I WISH

  Why'd you leave me mum?
am I not worth to love?
If so, why'd you let your insides
filled with daddy's cum?
Look at me now,
I'm a hopeless man.
I didn't have to suffer from
loneliness if I wasn't born.
I wish I didn't exist
if I'm gonna live like this
for all of my years.
I hope that someone would go to the past ,
turns back the time
and you didn't meet dad.
No meeting, fuckin' and bangin'
I wish it didn't all happen.

 

           ~melancholy

TIRED OF WAKING UP

 

I don't want my night to end
so I can sleep forever
and I'll have beautiful dreams
no more nightmares.
Waking up?
I'd forget it in my vocabulary
all I have to do is
lay in bed and there'll be no worries.
I don't even wanted to see the sun rise again
'cause if I do,
I might make another mistakes again.

     

     ~melancholy

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Publication Date: 10-15-2020

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