The Worst Thing

What’s the Worst that could happen?

 

I try not to think about it, but it keeps creeping back into my mind. What’s the worst thing that could happen? I try to rationalize it away. It would be so reassuring to think, if the worst thing didn’t happen then all the worry would be for nothing. I could handle it if the worst thing didn’t happen. You have to make plans if you want to make sure the worst thing does not happen, and that is just what I try to do.

 

While driving down the road I realize I am not only late, but there is no way I will be able to get where I am going on time. This is one big fear. But what is the worst thing that can happen? If I don’t get there on time, I might miss an important meeting. Is that the worst thing that can happen? If I miss the appointment, I might lose my job. Is that the worst thing that can happen? If I lose my job, I won’t get paid. Even worse, my family would think less of me. Not to mention I wouldn’t be able to take care of them. Then they might leave me, and I would be all alone.

 

I could handle being all alone, if I knew my family would be all right. If that was the worst thing that could. I would miss them terribly, all because I missed this appointment. Perhaps that is the worst thing that could happen. I have to drive faster, I am afraid to miss this appointment. Then the worst fear. I hear the siren behind me. I see the lights flashing in my rear view mirror. It’s my worst fear all over again. I don’t want to say the wrong thing to this police officer that is what you must call them. They do not like it when you say, “Cop.” The worst thing that can happen is to make the officer that stopped you mad. I must be polite. Perhaps I will just get a warning, and the officer will not take too much time. Perhaps I can still make it to the meeting.

 

I sit in my car and wait. It seems like he is never going to get out and give me the ticket. I wonder is it worth the risk to just drive off and try to get to my meeting. Perhaps he will not know it was me driving and I can tell him someone stole my car. I am afraid to try. If he catches me, I will have no chance of ever making it to the meeting. If I don’t make it, my family will suffer. My children may turn to a life of crime. I will be homeless on the street, and I will hear that my son was gunned down while robbing a bank.

 

Finally, the officer gets to the window. Where is my driver’s license? I have been so afraid, I forgot to get it out, and my registration, he will want to look at that too. This is going to take longer than I thought. What am I going to do?

 

The officer asks me, “Do you know how fast you were going.” What should I say? If I say I don’t know, he will think I am a careless driver. He might ask me to get out of the car and prove that I am not drunk. This will take more time. There will be no chance to get to the meeting at all. Perhaps if I cry it would help. No! What would he think of a grown man crying? Then he would probably haul me off to the loony bin.

 

My children would be saddled with the stigma of an insane father. Everyone would suspect that my children would inherit the insanity. They would never be able to get a good job. They might end up on the streets begging for a living. I could never stand that. Even worse, perhaps I am insane. Perhaps they will inherit the insanity. My children will be locked away for the rest of their lives. My wife will have no one left, and she will probably kill herself.

 

Why oh why didn’t I get up ten minutes earlier? Why oh why did I shut off my alarm clock and roll over and go back to sleep? My life is ruined all because I wanted to get ten more minutes of sleep. This really is my worst fear. It is the worst thing that could happen.

 

What is that sound? It is so annoying. Argh! It is getting louder with each passing moment. I roll over and slap at it. I bought that annoying alarm clock because I was so afraid I would oversleep.

 

My worst fear is that I will oversleep and, and, the worst things really will happen.

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Publication Date: 06-02-2013

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