I realize too late that there are no happy endings. There are only endings. As I lay here, drowning in my blood, I can only think “She forced me to this. I had to. This was my only way out. I’m done running from my pain; it’s time to end it.” My story isn’t some happy fairy tale. It’s not about the “Valiant knight that goes to save the princess.” It’s about my decent into the clawing madness that is my fragmented psyche. When I fell into my personal hell I found something in myself, something I didn’t know existed. I found an inner darkness that I both found fascinating, and horrifying. I found the capacity to kill, and the power to do it. Ah but I get ahead of myself. My name is Blake, if that name even holds meaning at this point, and this is my story.
Before I tell you my tale, why don’t I tell you a little more about myself. I lived on my family’s estate in the wilderness. I inherited the house from my father when he died, as he did from his father, and so on and so forth. Besides my fortune I was an average teenager. I went to an average high school, took normal classes, and got relatively decent grades. Granted I was distant, floating through life on my own little cloud of indifference. I didn’t have many friends. But that’s ok; I always told myself I didn’t need them. I only had one friend. He was the only friend I needed. He was my brother, Daniel. We had our fights and disagreements like all brothers, but we were close. After our parents were killed we only grew closer. The only thing we argued about was the inheritance. As the senior, I inherited the house and the fortune, while he inherited nothing. It was a harsh life, but we made it work.
I woke up one Monday to find and eerie stillness in the air. I couldn’t explain it. I was always more attuned to strange things like that. I felt as though there was something just out of my line of sight. Hanging just outside my perception. Watching me. Watching and waiting. What it was waiting for I didn’t know. The presence had always been hanging around me since I was a child. Today however there was something different. A sense of urgency came to mind.
“Daniel? You there man?” I called out. I heard a snarl coming from downstairs. Dropping to a crouch I made my way carefully down the steps and into the main hall. “D-Daniel!?” I cried out as I saw him face down in a puddle of crimson. I noticed almost too late the figure perched on his back, tearing away at his flesh. It had dead gray skin, with golden eyes and long skinny limbs. It swung its arm in my direction and made a grunting noise. The bastard was egging me on. Daring me to join poor Daniel. “Well” I said, “if you want a fight, you’ll have it.”
I rushed forward. I didn’t care that I was unarmed and unprepared. I only cared about getting that thing off my brother. I heard the presence at the back of my mind, screaming orders, I couldn’t understand it. But my body seemed to. The beast swung its long arm left, I feinted right, ducked under its guard, and my arm came up like a rocket. Except, it wasn’t a fist I saw, it was a dark, twisted copy of my hand, the nails sharpened to long claws, the fingers grown long and talon-like. “What in hell?” I wondered aloud. When my hand connected with the beasts jaw I quickly pulled away. I wasn’t expecting the rest of its head to come with. In a shower of blood the beast’s corpse fell still.
“Daniel! Daniel! Please be ok! Oh god, don’t leave me!” I pleaded. “You’re tough! Come on! Wake up! Please! Open your eyes! Wake up…” I cried. “B-Blake? I’m so cold…god it hurts…please…end it....”
I didn’t know what to do. My heart was beating so hard I couldn’t concentrate. The blood was rushing in my ears. I couldn’t kill my brother. How could I? But that’s when I heard the presence again. Calmly but surely, telling me what to do. Where to cut. How to make it quick. I couldn’t watch my brother suffer any longer.
I jabbed out my clawed hands at his throat. There was almost no resistance as the newly formed claws sliced through his jugular. I felt the heat of his blood on my hands. The saltiness of my tears as they ran down my face. I don’t remember how long I stayed there. Hunched over, crying over the loss of my only loved one. I don’t remember how my arm changed back. All the while though the presence was there… whispering words of encouragement.
“You did the right thing” it said. “He would have suffered if you let him go” it told me. It sounded so convincing. As though it had seen untold sadness, experienced excruciating grief. It made me want to listen. Want to give in to its every suggestion. I heard a kind of pity in its voice. I didn’t learn until later that it only masked its own predatory intentions. I remember getting up eventually, giving my brother a proper burial, burning the remains of the beast that attacked Daniel, and cleaning up the house. “There’s so much blood…so much…it isn’t coming off… why isn’t it coming off!?” I remember screaming to myself as I tried washing my dead brother’s blood off my hands. That’s when I first started losing myself to the madness. That’s also when the presence first began to slowly embed itself into my mind. Several months passed before I returned to school. The nearly empty flat was even more uninviting and dead then before. I drifted around my house. Waking up, eating my meals, and returning to bed. My actions were almost mechanical. I felt nothing.
I drifted by. Phasing in and out of reality, barely keeping conscious, it felt like I was seeing someone else control my body. I was more like a zombie than ever. Then I met her. She was the most amazing person I could possibly imagine. If beauty and kindness had physical form I imagine it would be her. The sight of her made my blood run cold and sent a chill down my spine.
I met her in third period at school after I started going again. She was new you see, hadn’t been at my school for the whole semester. She approached me, her long black hair flowing in waves behind her. “Hi, my name is Snow. I don’t really know anyone here but you seem nice, do you mind if I copy your notes for the chapter? I’m gonna need to study more if I have any hope of passing.” she asked. I couldn’t answer at first. I was unused to human contact, that I needed a second to collect my thoughts. “…uh yeah sure, that would be fine” I replied.
A shy smile appeared on her face. “um here’s my number, you should call me when you have the notes together…or just to talk…I don’t mind…I would love to get to know you more.” She blushed, “oh god I’m sorry, I’m rambling aren’t I? Wow that was awkward, I’ll just go now.” She started to turn away. “No wait! Don’t go! I don’t mind. Really, it’s nice having someone to talk to. Things have been rough for awhile.” I could feel my cheeks get hot; I could tell I was blushing badly, but she just smiled more than ever. The teacher called for us to go to our seats. She giggled and took the seat next to me. I smiled like an idiot for the rest of the day. But once I got home I could tell things were different. I felt the presence speak to me the way it did when Daniel was killed. It said I needed to protect her. It said she was in more danger then Daniel ever was. “Danger? Danger from what?” I asked in vain. I could feel it growing dormant again. Whatever secrets this thing had it was clear it had an agenda of its own. It was also clear that it played by its own rules. I may be its host, but I’m definitely not calling the shots.
I needed to know why it chose now to interact with my life. It never had before. It was as if the fight with the beast had been what it was waiting for. As if it knew that would happen. I wish I could tell you it was on my side. I wish I could tell you it was a benevolent spirit, just waiting for the right time to divulge some strange mind blowing revelation. But that isn’t the case. I could tell that it wasn’t telling me to keep me in the dark on purpose. There was something going on here, and its stranger then I could ever have imagined before.
We started dating three days later. Since I’ve gotten closer to her I have noticed something strange. While I’m around her there is a certain feel to the air. Like we are being watched. However I haven’t seen anything. The presence hasn’t given me any warning or cause for alarm either so if there is something watching us it doesn’t seem like it plans on interfering (that’s what I thought at least. I know now that it was just waiting for the right time, but anyway, back to the story). We were going to a movie and then heading back to my place for dinner.
Around 7 we headed over to the favorite movie theatre in my town. It’s so old that no one remembers the actual name. We all just called it Bo’s because that’s the name of the owner. It’s one of those old fashioned theatres with the giant curtains tied closed on either side of the screen, with a door off to the side that leads backstage. We caught a seat towards the back for the Weekend Horror Night Special. Today it seemed Bo chose one of my personal favorites: Jeepers Creepers 2.
As the movie started and the lights dimmed I felt her lean against my side and wrap her arm around mine. I turned and kissed her forehead as a giggle escaped her lips. “If I get scared can I hide behind you?” she asked with a flirtatious glance at me. “If you wanted to cuddle that bad you could just ask” I teased. “Haha so you’ll protect me from the monsters?” she asked. At the mention of protecting her I recalled the warning the presence had given me when I met her. “Always and forever” I responded in a serious tone. She smiled and turned back to the movie.
. . .
After the movie we started walking back to my house. There it was. That peculiar feeling. It was more intense then before though. My ears pricked. Searching for any indication of danger. Any cause for alarm. I started getting nervous. I could feel it clearly now. We were definitely being watched. Snow could tell in an instant something was wrong. On instinct I moved her behind my back, I felt her hands arms wrap around me “Blake, what is it? I’m scared.” I felt her shaking. The presence awoke at the back of my mind and started lending me some of its strange power. My senses sharpened. My eyes began to search out for any minute details, anything out of place, and anything that looked like it didn’t belong. I could remember the smell of trash and death from the monster that killed Daniel. I smelled faint traces of something similar in the air. I could hear the snap of a twig a hundred yards away. I could hear Snows heart thudding against my back as she tried to get closer. My pulse quickened.
Snow was getting quickly becoming terrified by the mixture of my silence, the movie we had just seen still fresh in her mind, and above all the complete and utter silence of the night. I finally noticed it. We were all alone. No birds chirped in the trees. No joggers passed by. No cars drove down the lane nearby. No shops were open. No street lights turned on as it grew darker. Not even the echo of conversations or footsteps from farther away.
The stillness was maddening. I heard footsteps. First walking, this started to speed up, and then erupted into a sprint as we were seen. This was no place for a fight. Even if the presence let me change my arm like before it was to risky to even try it. I couldn’t let Snow see that, it was too dark, even with my heightened senses there was no way I could protect her if there was more than one attacker, this place was to open. I had to think fast. My muscles tensed, in two quick movements I grabbed a large stone from the ground and spun sideways, using the momentum from the movement to rocket the stone in the direction of the footsteps.
I heard it connect with something solid. It was followed by an infuriated growl. After that came a bone chilling shriek. No human could make that sound. It became deafening as the shrieking came from all sides. The earsplitting racket should have attracted the neighborhood’s residents but no one came out. The sounds of Snow’s crying and screams of terror were barely audible over the horrible noises that were closing in. I couldn’t take it anymore. The presence took over again. My eyes flared red and I screamed back in a language I didn’t understand. A shockwave erupted from the ground as an underground gas pipe exploded.
All at once there was silence. Whatever had been making that noise was momentarily stunned. Taking our only visible chance I grabbed Snow picked her up and ran in the direction of my house. I’d never gone so fast in my life. It felt like I was pushing the world around me rather than pushing myself forward. Snow was pushed against me as the wind whipped at her hair. The sounds of pursuit quickly died away as whatever attacked us gave up its mad hunt. We reached my house in seconds. I didn’t stop to get the door. I kicked it in then slammed it shut behind me behind me and threw the deadbolt in place.
I set Snow down next to me and put a chair under the door knob. I motioned for her to stay put and went to check the house for any signs of intrusion. Upon finding none I relocked all the windows and drew the blinds. I returned to Snow to find her shaking. I cradled her in my arms and slowly rocked her back and forth; she buried her head in my chest. I whispered to her “We’re ok now. We’re safe. I won’t let them hurt you. I promise. Look, we’re home now, you’re ok.” She slowly stopped shaking. She seemed ok now.
To my surprise she grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and drew me into a deep kiss. Her hands slid up my chest and came to rest at the back of my neck. One of my hands was one her leg and the other was on her waist, as our lips parted she leaned close to my ear. “I love you Blake” she whispered, “Promise you’ll never leave me.”
I grinned, “I promise you Snow, with all my heart. I love you and nothing will separate us.” She giggled again, “Good. Now Sir Knight, do you think you could carry me to bed?” she winked, “I think I might like some company tonight.” I laughed and carried her up the steps to my room. She hit me with the blankets and laughed as I set her down at the foot of the bed. I stuck my tongue out and hopped under the covers next to her. We laid there for awhile, just laughing and smiling at each other. I don’t remember how late it was by the time we finally crashed. My last memory of the night was falling asleep in each other’s arms.
Publication Date: 04-14-2012
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