Shit

Life seems so meaningless
Just fills me with heartache
I can't deal with all this stress
so much shit I have to take
Fucked up mind
All the endless lies
Makes me blind
And my life dies
My soul does darken
I can't see the light
Everything's so fake, then
Everyone's dark as night
Endless hordes of agony
Pain won't go away
Can't kill the misery
Existing everyday


Everyone Decieves

I'm forever lost
In a world unknown
Hurt by every cost
Help can't be shown
The cuts deepen
Pain can't be real
Agony seeps in
Unable to feel
I dissapear
No believes
Overwhealmed by fear
Because everyone decieves


What You Know

Awaiting the day
you make it right
When everything you say
Isn't just for the night
When you'll keep your promises
Not always letting me down
When I don't have to make compromises
Or act like a clown
To get your attention
I want the bad to go
Not to mention
Remembering what you know


Unmanageable

As I lay here
I can't help but think
Of my every fear
No knowledge
Of anything I can do
When the ones who care
Seem limited and few
When my mind is racing
My heart is pounding
When I can't stop
The sirens from sounding
I feel crazy
Insane
And Unmanageable


Guess I was Wrong

Look at me
See what you do?
Can't let me be
Can you?
Tourture, no limit
The sad thing is
I believed it
I won't miss
The pain that's there
The pain you caused
So hard to bear
My life put on pause
Was I not
Good enough?
Can't believe I thought
Life wasn't that tough
Guess I was wrong

Wants

Want to cut
Want to bleed
Stop being a slut
To dissuade my need
My need for pain
Without remorse
My personal gain
Don't want to force
Myself to behave
Do what I want
Someone who can't be saved
Don't want a blunt
To keep the need at bay
Want to find myself
Don't want to say
It's not good for my health
Just let me be me


Into Oblivian

Why do I do these things
Unhappiness is all it brings
Puts me down
Makes me frown
Hard to sleep
Makes me weep
Everyday
Want it to go away
Every night
Try with all my might
To stay good
I know I should
It's so hard
When I want a shard
A perfect peice of glass
So that away I can pass
Into oblivian


Never Get Up Again

A pretty blue vein
Now you see it
Now you don't
Take a razor
Cut it open
Let it bleed
And spill
Over my tanned pale skin
Let me know
I can die
I can take that chance
I don't want to cry
Anymore
I just want to fall down
To the floor
Never get up again . . .


Jokes

I say
I'm going to kill myself
They say
Have fun with that
They think I'm kidding
Or seeking attention
I say it
To not do it
Because I want to
Very bad
I want to
Exist no more
Never change


The Unknown

This feeling
It runs so deep
It's specific meaning
A secret I cannot keep
It twists up inside me
Causes me pain
But no one can see
through all this rain
Is it from my eyes?
Pouring onto my cheeks
So many guys
Over so many weeks
I fall in
So fast
Although I never win
I always come in last


Me All Alone

Of love
Of life
A gift from above
Or of struggles and Strife
The mysteries
The unknown
Our histories
And me all alone . . .

Imprint

Publication Date: 10-06-2010

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