Then

 

Soul Searcher - a person or creature that has the ability to see inside someone else’s soul, this person or creature can see their victim’s darkest secrets, and instantly knows their personality, the person or creature must have eye contact for their abilities to be effective. They often have no control over which soul they search or what they see.

Soul Reader - a person or creature that has the ability to search someone’s soul, they have complete control over what they see and can choose their victim at will, they require skin contact for their abilities to be effective.

Soul Shredder - a person or creature who has the ability to shred another’s soul into pieces, the result often results in suicide or insanity, they often have to learn to control this ability, they can choose their victim’s, they have to draw blood for their abilities to be effective, the person with this ability though often starts as a decent individual will more often than not turn power mad sometimes causing people harm as a sort of amusement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was my sixth birthday the first time it happened. I had awoke early that morning looking forward to my birthday breakfast. Blueberry pancakes, my favorite. I ran downstairs and into the kitchen where my mom stood at the stove piling the pancakes onto two plates.

My dad was sitting at the kitchen table looking uncomfortable. This was the first time I had seen him in a couple months. He had left my mom the year before. At first he tried to see me as often as he could. Then his visits became fewer and far between.

He smiled at me and I ran into his arms. Neither one of us had the chance to say a word before my mom put the plates on the table with unnecessary force. I went to my seat across from my mom, and picked up my fork.

I looked up just in time to catch my moms eyes. My mind went blank, and I felt pressure at the nape of my neck. Like someone had grabbed me and gave a light squeeze. Not uncomfortable but not exactly comfortable either. It lasted only a second but a second was long enough for me to see what no six year old should see. I looked at my plate trying to piece together the images in my mind into something I understood.

My mom at her office sitting at her desk. She was an accountant. I only knew that she did a lot with math and numbers. She was in her usual suit with her glasses perched on her nose.

Then the image had shifted to a dark room with swirling lights, and tables and people all around. It was only now that I know it was a night club. She was sitting on a mans lap laughing. A bunch of other men sitting around them all wearing suits. She was wearing this really short bright red dress that showed allot of her chest. She reached over and playfully tugged on one of their ties. The man who’s lap she was sitting on tugged on the skirt of her dress getting her attention back.

The image shifted again. She was in a back alley with the same man she had been sitting on. They were kissing and his hands were roaming all over her body. She was giggling and teasing him. Her hands pulling on his hair and then moving to the front of his pants.

Shift. She was in a dark room on a bed with the same man. They were naked and rubbing against each other. She was making weird noises, and he was grunting.

Shift. She was in our living room in her suit again, and she and my dad were yelling at each other. She threw a vase at his head, but he ducked. Then she stormed upstairs to their room. He got a spare blanket out of the downstairs closet, and laid down on the couch.

Shift. She was in the dark room again on the bed with a different man.

Shift. My dad was walking out the front door with a packed bag. Telling her his lawyer would call her.

After a couple minutes I managed to put the pieces together. She was the reason my dad left. She had gone to bed with those men, and he her. Left me. She was the reason I didn’t have my daddy anymore. Just a new stranger that stopped by every few months.

That was all back when I didn’t know that it was better to just keep my mouth shut. Before I realized that I wasn’t supposed to know all of those things. I was so mad at her that I couldn’t help but to confront her. To demand answers to questions that I shouldn’t know to ask.

I put my fork down without taking a single bite. The silence was a heavy weight on my small shoulders. My parents never looked at each other, and they barely glanced at me. I looked up at her. She glanced up and I caught her gaze. There was no pressure this time. No images that would rush through my mind. I had already seen what I needed to see.

“Was that why Daddy left?” I asked. She gave me a confused look. “Because you were on that bed with those men?” Her mouth dropped open, and she dropped the fork that was half way to her mouth. My dad just stared at me. She turned on him angrily.

“What did you tell her?!” she yelled. He was still staring at me shaking his head.

“How could he tell me anything. I almost never see him.” I answered instead. I was getting more and more angry. “So is it true? You were with those men and that’s why he left?” Her face turned bright red.

“That is none of your business young lady. How do you know about all that?” I looked at her more confused than angry now.

“You showed me. With your eyes.” Both of my parents went deathly still.

“What do you mean I showed you?” I shrugged wasn’t what I did normal?

“You showed me. I looked at you and I saw it.” Her face turned from red to green in a second.

“Go to your room. Get dressed we don’t want to be late for the fair.” I stood and headed up the stairs.

Every summer on my birthday the fair was in town. I used to feel so lucky that it always happened that way. So in the morning I would get my birthday breakfast, and the three of us went to the fair. We would spend all day playing games and riding the rides. It was the day I looked forward to the most. Not Christmas not thanksgiving. Not even Halloween though it was a close second.

I changed my clothes and brushed my hair. I pulled my hair into a pony tail. I was so proud the first time I managed it on my own. I wore a pony tail in my hair every day for a full month.

I ran back downstairs and heard my parents murmuring in the kitchen. They heard me come down the stairs and went silent again as I opened the door. They told me to go wait in my mom’s car while they cleaned up. I didn’t have any reason to worry. I may have surprised them but they were my parents. They may have made mistakes but they still loved me.

I sat in the car for fifteen minutes waiting for them. To a six year old fifteen minutes was a life time when you weren’t having fun. Finally my parents walked out the door. My mom was holding my back pack. My dad went to his car and waved at me with a strained smile. I waved back and turned to my mom as she got into the drivers seat.

“Why is Daddy getting into his car?” She met my eyes in the rearview mirror for an instant before looking away.

“He’s going to meet us there.” She started the car and backed out of the driveway. I watched the houses pass by, and when we got to the center of town, I watched the stores. We had gone to the fair every year, never missed one. So when she turned the opposite way I started to get worried.

“Where are we going the fair is the other way?” I asked, and was answered with silence. After five more minutes I saw the sign saying we were interring the next county. Twenty minutes later my mom pulled into the parking lot of an old church.

She parked and got out of the car telling me to do the same thing. I watched her carrying my back pack, and my hands shook as I unfastened my seat belt. a tight knot of fear hardening in my stomach. I knew something wasn’t right.

I got out of the car and followed my mom into the church. The dead silence was unnerving. The place was completely empty. My footsteps echoed with each step I took. She directed me to the front pew, and told me to sit. I obeyed and she set the bag on the floor next to me. She kept her eyes on the floor never looking at me.

“Just sit here. I’m going to go check on something. Don’t move until someone comes for you.” without waiting for an answer she started heading back the way we came.

When I heard the front door open and close I jumped up and ran to the windows that showed the parking lot. I watched as she climbed into the car. Started it and pulled out the lot onto the highway heading back toward our town. She never even looked back. Not once

It was then that I understood. I was young not stupid. She was leaving me. Abandoning me to whatever fate decided. Left me in a church on Saturday, and my dad knew about it. That was why his smile was strained. Why he climbed into his car instead of ours. He couldn’t stand to face me knowing that they both were abandoning me. Though I think he abandoned me a long time before that. Now he just wouldn’t have to keep up pretenses.

I walked slowly back to my seat and looked down at my bag. They had packed my favorite jeans. An ordinary black t-shirt, and my hair brush and hair ties. There was my tooth brush and socks and underwear. There was a sandwich, and a bag of chips along with a bottle of water. Nothing else. No pictures, no note, nothing to remind me of them. Nothing to tell me why. And especially nothing to tell me they loved me.

I curled up on the pew and cried silent tears. I cried for hours. Until the sun set and the moon rose. The stars twinkled in the June sky, but by the time I fell into an exhausted sleep I was numb. I didn’t feel anything, and I didn’t want to. I only understood one thing. A thought and feeling that had been tickling the back on my mind ever since I saw those images.

My mom was a bad person.

 

 

The next morning a woman found me sleeping on the pew. She asked me what I was doing there, and where my parents were. All I could do is sit there and cry silently. She took in my slept in clothes, and the contents of my bag which I never bothered closing. She got a knowing look that was quickly replaced by pity. My tears stopped and my small shoulders straightened. This woman was a stranger and I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me.

She kept asking me my name but I couldn’t speak. I didn’t want to remember my name or who I was before. My parents didn’t want me for some reason and I didn’t want to make everyone else not to want me either.

It turned out the woman was the minister’s wife. She had come in early before the church opened to make sure everything was ready for her husband and the worshipers. She called her husband telling him a small girl had been abandoned, and apparently didn’t know her own name. I didn’t bother to correct her.

The minister showed up ten minutes later and took me to his office. He tried talking to me. To get me to answer his questions. But I couldn’t bring myself to say a word. I just stared at the carpet beneath my chair. After an hour he gave up and called the police.

About twenty minutes later a woman officer showed up. She had bright red hair, pale skin with freckles, and a sour look on her face.

“Call me in on a Sunday cause some kid forgot her address. This is ridiculous.” she was talking low as if to herself. I guess she didn’t realize we could both hear her. The minister’s face turned a slight shade of red. He explained the situation while I traced the pattern of the carpet some more. After he was done she sighed. “Well it looks like I’m not the only one getting called in today. Come on kid let’s go. I’ve better things to do on my day off than baby sit you.” I grabbed my bag and hurried after her.

The drive took a long time. At least it seemed to in the silence. It was probably only about ten minutes. Her with her eyes never leaving the road and mine watching the world pass by around us.

We reached a single story building. The big sign next to the road said, ‘Green County Social Services’. The building was made of brick with big windows and a large glass door out front. We pulled into a parking space just as a tall man reached the doors and put a key into the lock.

The officer got out of the car and walked toward him. I hurried to catch up with her. We got to him just as he opened the door. He turned when he noticed us, and looked down at me. Our eyes met and I got that same feeling of pressure at the nape of my neck. I watched as he played with a little girl about my age. I saw him kiss a pretty blond woman with kind eyes. I watched as he talked to kid after kid while he sat at a desk. I didn’t know what some of it meant. But I knew he was a good man, and more importantly I could trust him.

“Here she is. She’s your problem now.” Without so much a word to me she walked back to her car and drove away. All the while the man stood glaring after her. He turned to me and I dropped my eyes to the ground.

“After you young lady.” he gestured through the door and I walked in. It was really quiet with no one there. There was a front desk behind a glass window with a hole in it to speak through. The window went from the ceiling all the way down to the desk top. Behind the window I could see two rows of cubicles. He walked past me and opened a door right next to the desk with the window. He waved a hand and I walked through it stopping just inside to wait for him.

He walked all the way down to the last cubicle on the right. There was a desk with an office chair on one side and a squishy chair on the other side. On the wall behind the desk there was a quark board with lots of small notes pinned to it. On the desk sat a computer, a printer, and a framed picture of the pretty woman and little girl.

“Please have a seat. My name is Jack Harvest. You can call me Jack.” I sat on the squishy chair and watched as he opened his briefcase and pulled out two McDonald’s bags, and opened a mini fridge behind his desk and put two sodas next to the bags. “I hope you don’t mind but I got us some breakfast. If your not hungry that’s fine, but if you want some it’s yours.” as the smell of the food reached me my stomach growled. I remembered that I hadn’t eaten since the night before my birthday. He chuckled and passed me a bag.

I looked in it to find a McMuffin and a hash brown. We ate in silence. It wasn’t the tension filled silence that I shared with all of the other adults. This silence was comfortable.

I was almost done eating when he opened a soda and handed it to me. I took my first drink while he opened his own. When we were both done eating and settled comfortably in our chairs that he spoke. I had my soda sitting in my lap and I was looking at his calendar.

“So my boss told me you couldn’t speak. Is that true.” I shook my head. He nodded. “That’s what I thought. Do you just not want to talk?” I shrugged. He nodded and tried again. “He also told me that you couldn’t remember who you were.” I scowled at him and he chuckled. “Okay well then do you know your name?” I nodded. He got a mischievous look in his eye. “I bet you can’t spell it.” I scowled harder and grabbed the pad of paper and pen that had been sitting on his desk. After I was done writing I put the pad back on the desk. He grabbed it and read what I had written. “You have very nice hand writing Rayne Nichole Woods. That’s an interesting name. Do you know how you got it?”

“My mommy said it was because I was born in a thunder storm.”

“Wow that’s quite a story. How old are you Rayne?”

“Six” He grabbed a pen and wrote something down on the pad.

“When’s your birthday?”

“June sixteenth” he wrote something else down then looked up at me and then over at the calendar his eyebrows raising higher by the second, and a look of comprehension spreading across his face. By the time he looked back at me though he had smoothed his features as though he hadn’t just figured out I was abandoned on my birthday.

“How did you end up at the church?” I sat in silence for a few minutes staring at my soda. He just sat there looking at me. He didn’t push and he didn’t get impatient. He just let me take my time. That’s what made my decision. I told him how my parents had told me we were going to the fair, and how my mom had driven me to the church instead. He listened quietly.

“Do you know your phone number?” I nodded and told him. He wrote it down on the pad then stood. “Will you wait right here for me for a minute? I need to go make a phone call.” I nodded and I watched him walk to the front desk. He stood with his back to me as he dialed the phone. He waited for a moment and then began speaking. He kept his voice down so I couldn’t make out what he was saying. After about five minutes of talking he hung up the phone and came back to his desk. I didn’t bother pretending like I hadn’t been watching him.

He sat back down behind his desk and folded his hands. He didn’t say anything for several moments. Just stared at his hands.

“Okay Rayne what I’m going to do is find another home for you. There are a lot of nice people who take in kids. They’re called foster homes. You’ll be happy there.”

“Do you know why?”

“Why what?”

“Why my mommy and daddy didn’t want me anymore?” He looked me in the eyes, silent for a slow count of ten. He took a deep breath.

“Your mommy and daddy didn’t know what a good thing they had. They didn’t appreciate you the way they should of.”

“Was it because I was bad?” A look of compassion settled on his face.

“No. No it was not because you were bad. This is not your fault. It’s theirs. They were not good parents to you.” I nodded and curled up in my chair while he made more phone calls at his desk. After only a couple minutes I fell asleep to the sound of his soft voice.

Several hours later he woke me with a soft shake to my shoulder.

“Hey sleepy head a new family is here to take you home. I’ve known them for a long time and I believe they are really nice people okay. You’ll be happy with them.” I nodded and grabbed my bag. I followed him out the front door to see five people standing next to a minivan. He introduced them as Mr. and Mrs. Richards. The three other people were kids that were also living with them. They were all older then me by a few years. Jack said goodbye and I climbed into the van.

The Richards lived in a four bedroom house five miles from the social services office. They looked like a happy family. We all had dinner and spent the evening watching TV. I was to spend the night with the youngest girl. Her name was Katie and she was ten. She seemed really nice but when it came time to go to bed she got really nervous and kept glancing at me with a worried look. Right before we were supposed to turn the lights out she sat on my bed with me.

“Not long after the lights go out Mr. Richards is going to come in here. He’s going to lay down in bed with you. Remember it’s easier if you don’t fight him. Okay?” she was whispering and though I heard her words I didn’t understand what she meant. She climbed into her bed and I laid down in mine. She gave me a reassuring smile and turned off the lamp.

I was dozing when I heard the door open. I was wide awake at the sound. I lay perfectly still suddenly scared. I didn’t know what was going to happen but Katie’s words kept coming to me ‘It’s easier if you don’t fight him’. Fight him for what? What was he going to do? I felt the bed dip as he sat down on the edge. I felt him lift the covers and slide in next to me. When his hand touched my shoulder I jumped.

“Shhh it’s okay. Just relax.” I looked at him in the dark and his eyes were in shadow. When he reached down and touched my leg I did the only thing I could think of. I brought my foot back as hard as I could catching him squarely in the groin. He howled and clutched where I had kicked him. I climbed over him and off the bed. I grabbed my bag and my shoes and ran out the door. I ran so fast I almost fell down the stairs. Catching myself on the banister I took the stairs as quickly as I could, and out the front door moving faster than I ever had in my life.

I ran across the front yard as quick as I could never slowing as I heard Mr. and Mrs. Richards yelling for me to come back. I ran to the road and ran back the way towards town. When I heard a car start I ducked into the woods at the side of the road still running. My bare feet getting bruised, scratched and bleeding from the rough forest floor. When I saw headlights heading my way I dropped to the ground. I held my breath as I watched the van crawl by. When it was out of sight I jumped up and kept running. When I saw the headlights again I hid behind a tree. When I felt it was safe I took off again.

I ran until I couldn’t breath then I ran some more until I finally had to stop. I leaned against a tree trying to catch my breath. My side was aching and my feet felt like they were on fire. I was still holding my shoes so I tried to put them on. It hurt to badly I couldn’t wear them. I stayed there thinking about what had happened. I didn’t know what he was going to do but I knew it wasn’t right. I felt the danger coming off of him in waves. I knew I had to get out of that house as quickly as possible so I did. I felt bad about leaving Katie there but I couldn’t help her while I was trapped there. When I felt okay to keep going I went up to the road and shouldered my back pack.

I walked for another hour. Taking one painful step at a time. Finally I made it back to town. I stopped and looked at all of the buildings. Some houses some stores and restaurants. I was trying to figure out a way to make it back to Jack’s office. I knew it was too late at night for him to be there, but I was just going to wait for him. I took a right at a four way stop and turned left taking a guess. After about five more minutes of searching a cop car pulled up next to me. I jumped when it parked and took several steps back adrenaline flowing through me. I didn’t want this officer to take me back to those people.

The officer was a man and when he opened his door he held up both hands as a way to tell me he wasn’t going to hurt me. He must have seen that I was about to bolt. I met his eyes and relaxed. I knew I could trust him to listen to me before he took me back to that house.

“Hey darlin’ what are you doing out here at this time a night?” he took another couple steps toward me. When he got a good look at me he swore under his breath. “Jesus, you couldn’t be older than five.” I drew my shoulders back.

“I’m six” I said with as much indignation as someone so small could possess.

“Okay my apologies. So what are you doing walking the streets at this time a night?”

“I’m looking for Jack.” I answered.

“Okay do you know Jack’s last name?” I searched my memory.

“Harvest. Jack Harvest.” he nodded.

“Okay he’s my brother in law. If you’ll get in my car I’ll take you to the station and call him.” I hesitated for a moment then nodded. I walked around the car and climbed into the front seat. As he climbed into the driver’s seat he glanced down at my bare feet. This time he swore a lot louder. “Darlin’ what happened to your feet?” I looked down at them. They had long since gone numb, and I had forgotten that they were hurt.

“I ran through the woods.” his eyes went wide but he didn’t question me anymore. He drove us to the police station in silence and took me through the back door. There were only a few other officers in the big room. It was full of desks with computer’s on them. He had me sit at the closest desk as he grabbed the phone.

“Hey Sally can I talk to Jack for a minute?” he listened her response and rolled his eyes. “Yes I know it’s late, and I knew he would probably be asleep but I need to speak with him it’s an emergency.” he listened again “Thank you.” after another few seconds he started talking again. “Hey Jack it’s John listen I need you to come up here right away. I found a little girl roaming the streets a few minutes ago and she says she was looking for you.” he listened for another second then looked at me “Her name?”

“Rayne Nyght” he repeated it in the phone. He nodded. “Yeah she said she was six when I accidentally said she was five.” pause and his shoulders relaxed. “Okay thank you. The quicker you get here the better her feet are really torn up. She said she had run through the woods. Okay see you soon.” he turned to me and told me Jack would be there in a few minutes then told me to stay where I was.

He came back a couple minutes later with a first aid kit. He knelt on the floor in front of me and opened the kit. He pulled out an alcohol pad and told me it would sting. I didn’t even feel it. After he was done with the alcohol pads he pulled out two wraps and started to wrap both my feet. By the time he was done Jack walked into the room. It looked like he had just jumped out of bed. His light brown hair was all messed up and he had dark circles under his eyes from being woken up in the middle of the night. When he saw us he almost ran to my chair. He knelt down next to officer John.

“Rayne what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be with the Richards.” I told them both what had happened and John sat back on heels his eyes as wide as saucers. Jack on the other hand was not so composed.

“That son of a bitch! John I want you to get as many officers as you can. I want those other kids out of that house tonight! Now!” John nodded and jumped up running to the three other cops at the other end of the room. They were staring at us because of Jack’s outburst. Jack knelt down in front of me.

“Rayne I am so, so sorry. I had no idea he would try to do that to you. I swear this will never happen to you again.” he looked like he was ready to cry. He rubbed his hand through his hair and stood reaching for the phone. “I’m going to find you another home. A better home I promise with people that will take care of you and not hurt you. I swear it.”

A couple hours later I was standing at the front door of another house. There was a really nice woman named Sandy and her husband Ralph. I was the only kid they had in residence at the time, and they truly seemed like good people.

A week later I slipped up and asked about something in Ralph’s past that I wasn’t supposed to know about. They sent me away two days later.

It went on like that for eleven years. Being bounced from home to home every time I messed up and showed that I knew way more than I should. Jack was my case worker the entire time. He never gave up on me though. He was always there to listen to me. To be my best friend. He kept saying that it was their problem and not mine. But I knew he was wrong. I knew there was something wrong with me.

Now

She sat there next to me as though I didn’t exist. She was leaned back. Her knee propped against the table her leg swinging slightly. Not a reaction I was used to from girls. Her headphones emitted a slight sound though I couldn’t place. She looked totally engrossed in her book just as she had in our last class.

I hadn’t missed the smirk when she looked at the textbook. Just as I hadn’t missed the fact that she wouldn’t look at me if I didn’t have my glasses on. In fact she hadn’t looked anyone in the eye at all that I had seen. She kept her eyes trained on the floor the way someone with bad self esteem would. But she held her body in a manner that exuded confidence. An extreme contradiction and the thing that caught my attention.

I wished I could just reach over and touch her. Find out her secrets. What made her the way she was. To the untrained eye she was the epitome of calm. But I was always good at noticing the little things. Like the way she seemed to mess with her braid when something was bothering her. Like for example someone staring at her like I did most of last hour. And the way her legs were never still. Almost like she was ready to bolt at a moments notice. The way her hands were always fidgeting either messing with her hair, or tapping her fingers, and more often than the others the way she messed with the ring on the middle finger of her left hand.

I looked at the ring. It had a small thin band of silver that wove intricate designs around an onyx stone. She messed with it the most when she was deep in thought. Twisting it around her finger, but always returning it to the right position. It was obviously something that she had worn for a long time.

She had long dark hair plaited in a braid that reached the middle of her shoulder blades. She had an olive skin tone and the darkest eyes I had ever seen. She wore a baggy t-shirt obviously meant for a man with blue jeans underneath. Almost as though she were trying to look as ordinary as possible. Her clothes fit so that it showed very little of her body. Making it difficult to tell whether she was chubby or thin.

As I watched she pulled the braid over her shoulder and tugged on it lightly. She felt me staring just as she had in our last class. I couldn’t help the smirk as I turned to look at the front of the class again. I really should have been paying attention. This was the only class I had trouble with. I flipped open my book to the right chapter. I didn’t bother trying to listen to the teacher. I couldn’t learn that way so I started in on the problem I had left off at.

After the fifth time of erasing and starting over I was pretty sure I had the right answer. Movement caught my attention and I glanced to my right. Rayne was looking at my paper and shaking her head slightly. I raised an eyebrow at her. The only part of my eyes that could be seen over my glasses.

She rose to my challenge and leaned forward putting her book on the table words down to keep her place. She grabbed the pencil out of my hand and pulled my note book out from under my hand to her. She grabbed a calculator out of her bag and looked at the book. When she found the problem I was working on she paused. I watched as her eyes skimmed the page and she set to writing. It took her only a couple seconds and she pushed the notebook back to me with the pencil sitting on it. I looked at what she had written.

She had copied the problem shown in the book. Then solved it in a neat column. Her handwriting was small and neat. Next to the answer she had written three words, trace it backwards. I did as she said and realized my mistake. It took me ten minutes to finish the fifteen problems I had left following her example. A personal best.

The bell rang and I watched her stand and head out the door. I hoped I had more classes with her. She was intriguing. I continued on to my next class hoping I would be able to concentrate.

 

 

An hour later I walked into the lunch room. I scanned the room then realized I was looking for her. I walked to my friend’s usual table. It was on the left second to the last table in the impossibly square room. I sat down and waited. I didn’t eat school food. I found it inedible.

I didn’t have to wait long for my friends to show up. All three of them walked in joking and shoving each other. They were a bunch of morons, but you couldn’t find more loyal friends. Jason was the smallest and the most picked on. He was the last to join our group. Courtesy of us saving his ass from a few boys twice his size. Frank was the largest. Built like a bulldozer. He was about six five with shoulders about the width of the most standard door frames. He was also the kindest. He didn’t like saying a bad word about his most hated enemies. William was average. Average in everything he did. An average six feet, an average build, average brown hair, average grades.

The came up to the table and Jason plopped down in his seat. He always sat with his back to the forever empty back table. Frank pulled his out and turned it so it faced the majority of the room. He always sat in the seat closest to the door. Will plopped down in his directly across from me. I always kept my back to the wall so I could see everyone. I liked to know everything that was going on. I suppose that’s why I was interested in the new girl. She presented a challenging mystery.

I looked up at the door just in time to see her walk in. Several people turned to look at her. Including my friends.

“Hey there’s the new girl. Any of you know anything about her?” Will asked. Jason was the first to answer.

“She’s in American history with me. She never said anything and the teacher didn’t introduce her.”

“I haven’t seen her yet. But everyone’s talking about her.” Frank said in his soft voice. Sometimes I wondered if he softened his voice intentionally so he wouldn’t seem quite as intimidating.

“She’s not in any of my classes, but Donna is. She sits in front of me in algebra. She was bitching at her friends. Apparently she had tried to talk to the girl, and she just looked at her like she had some kind of disgusting disease, then turned and walked away.”

Donna was the Barbie clone. Homecoming queen, head cheerleader, big boobs, fake blonde hair. The works. She slept with any guy she thought she had to to get her crown. She tried it with me once and got the preverbal smack down. Ever since she flirted with me every chance she got. To her I was the one she couldn’t have and it drove her crazy.

“Her name’s Rayne.” I said and they all turned to look at me with varying degrees of surprise. I never participated in their student gossip. I new that each of those people they loved to talk about had a past and a personality. Even if they all weren’t gems.

“How in the hell did you find out more than we did?” Will asked with a fair amount of indignity. I lifted a shoulder.

“She’s my physics partner.”

“Good maybe then she can help you pass the class.” I gave him my middle finger and they all laughed. Although I had had the same thought more than once in the last hour.

She stood near the door and scanned the room. My laughing friends caught her attention and she headed in our direction. I watched to see what she would do. She walked past us to the table behind us. She pulled a chair the couple feet so her back would be to the wall. She propped her feet on another chair and crossed her ankles pulling her book out of her bag that she leaned against her chair.

I watched her for a second then turned my attention to the rest of the room with difficulty. If I kept staring at her then she might not want to talk to me. I listened to my friends talk and laugh at each other’s expense. About ten minutes later someone walked over to her table and sat down in the chair closest to her. It was Sam.

Sam was the token pretty boy of the school, as well as the cruelest. I knew what would happen before she even acknowledged him. He would do what he always did. He would turn on his charm, and convince her to do something with him. She, being the new girl and alone, would be flattered and agree. He would woo her for as long as he needed to until he had her in his bed. He’d use her once, twice, maybe three times if she was lucky. Then he’d throw her away leaving her heart broken and lonely. Then he would trash her to the rest of the school to make sure she stayed lonely.

“Hey I’m Sam.” to my surprise she ignored him. His smile fell a little at the corners. “So there’s a party tonight. I was wondering if you’d like to go with me. Maybe meet some people?” his demeanor never changed but instead of answering she pulled a cell phone out of the side pocket on her bag. She checked the time and slipped her book into her bag. Finally she spoke.

“You know, I’ve been to a lot of schools. I’ve met a lot of people, and every school is typical. After meeting all of those people I’ve learned one thing.” she bent down and picked her bag up standing at the same time.

“Oh and what’s that?” he asked with a flirty smile meant to disarm. She walked around the table opposite him and looked at him for the first time. She didn’t meet his eyes, but looked at his forehead instead.

“That guys like you should be neutered at birth.” she turned and walked away leaving him with his face turning red. She walked till she was about three feet past our table then stopped. She looked at the time again and looked around with a perplexed look. She turned to look at our table and looked at Frank. She walked over to him. He had his head turned and was talking to Jason. She reached over and tapped his shoulder with her index finger. He jumped a little and turned to her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you.” in her hast to apologize she looked him directly in the eye. She froze and her eyes dilated completely. It only lasted for a moment but a moment was long enough for me to see it. He stood in front of her. Forever the southern gentleman his dad taught him to be. Her head didn’t reach past his shoulder, and when he stood so abruptly it left her looking directly at his chest. Her eyes lifted slowly going from his chest to his shoulder to his chin then finally meeting his eyes again. Her head was tilted back so she could see his face. She wore an expression of slight surprise. No fear, no intimidation, no self consciousness just surprise.

“Umm, hi.” she said apparently at a momentary loss for words.

“Hello” he answered his voice softer than usual.

“I was just wondering if you could tell me where the library is?” she asked.

“Oh yes you go into the hallway and turn right it’s the last door on the left.” she nodded.

“Ok thank you” before she could walk away Frank stuck his hand out.

“My name is Frank.” she looked at his hand the look of surprise returning. She took his hand slowly. For the first time I noticed that she had small hands with slender fingers. It looked like a child’s in his large hand.

“Rayne”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too.” she gave him a small smile and turned to walk out of the room. I was momentarily stunned. She looked stern and guarded always making her features severe. But when she smiled she looked completely different. All of her features softened and lightened like a light was shining from under her skin. At that moment I would give anything to have that smile directed at me. For the first time in my life I was envious of someone.

 

 

Rayne

 

The bell rang and I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. The school day was over. I wouldn’t be near the novelty tomorrow. Eventually everyone will pretty much forget I exist and I can go back to a more relaxed life.

I hunted through my bag for my keys as I walked down through the hallway to the door that led to the parking lot. I was listening to my mp3 player so I couldn’t hear everyone’s incessant chatter.

I opened the door with my eyes still on my bag. I took the stairs by instinct and three steps forward when I ran into someone’s back. I had just managed to pull my keys out and dropped them at impact. The person I ran into was sturdy. I bounced back half a step but let my momentum take me back a couple more steps. I looked up to see it was Zeke. He bent and picked up my keys handing them to me. I took them hesitantly. He had his glasses on so I was safe but he still unsettled me.

He was standing with his friends the same ones he had been sitting with at lunch. It was just my luck that his table was right next to the only table far enough from the masses. The was a small mousy girl practically hanging on his arm. Whether she was his girlfriend or not I couldn’t tell. He didn’t seem to pay her much mind.

I mumbled my thanks and moved past them to the back corner of the lot where I had parked pulling my headphones off as I went. His friends had returned to their conversation but I could still feel Zeke’s gaze. And the girls. I heard her huff once, twice. The only thought I had was ‘Don’t do it. Just let it go. I’m no one to worry about.’ I was about six feet past them when it became apparent that unfortunately it she couldn’t read minds.

“How rude!” she said it with the intention of me hearing it. I turned and looked at her in the eye. Not something I did often at least not on purpose. But I hated high school girls with attitude. Even though I’ve been accused of having an attitude myself. Though when pressed they admitted that it was more a problem with authority.

I met her heated gaze with a hard one of my own. She took a step back out of reflex. I raised an eyebrow at her, and she dropped her eyes to the concrete. I turned and finished my walk to my car.

The drive to the new house where I lived took all of five minutes. I parked in the spot my new foster father told me to and got out. I left my bag in the car only grabbing my mp3 player and my book. I didn’t bother with my bag I didn’t have any homework.

I walked through the front door and into the hall which they called the entryway. It was spacious with a side table for keys and wallets. A rack on the wall was for coats and pictures hung all over the walls. The living room was through an archway to my left and the kitchen was through a swinging door to the right My new foster mom Sara Keely was a homemaker. She was pretty with blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She had a fair complexion and slender build standing a couple inches taller than me. She was only twenty three making her only six years older than me.

My foster father Koner Keely was a little older than her at twenty five. He owned his own mechanics shop and was one of the best in the county. He was quiet where she was almost bubble. He stood at about six one with a muscular torso. He had light brown hair and hazel eyes. I’ve only known them for about two days but they seemed to balance each other out.

They had tried to have a baby for about three years then went to the doctor. They found out that he was sterile, and she refused to take a donor. They were comfortable financially but didn’t have enough money to adopt. So as a result they decided to take on troubled kids in foster care. I think they wanted only younger kids but the timing just worked out that they ended up with me instead. They were just too nice to say no.

I ordinarily shouldn’t have this much information about my new foster parents but Jack always told me as much as he could before he placed me with a family. I placed my car keys in the bowl on the side table as quietly as I could. I didn’t generally like spending too much time with the inhabitants of a home. It made it so I could stay longer and the departure wasn’t nearly as painful if I didn’t get too attached.

Unfortunately it seemed Sara had exceptionally good hearing. I made it three steps towards the stairs before she immerged from the kitchen. She had a towel in her hands and was wringing it nervously.

“Oh Rayne, I was hoping to catch you. Jack called and said he had to cancel your dinner meeting. He said he could reschedule it for the middle of next week.”

I nodded as I stared at her ridiculously fashionable shoes. “Okay no problem.” I turned to continue my way up to my new room when she cleared her throat uncomfortably.

“Dinner will be done at about six. We usually eat in the dining room. If you have a lot of homework I understand but we try to eat dinner together every night.” I always found it interesting when a young couple who were new at the whole foster parenting thing try to set up rules. They were always hesitant and afraid of a teenage hormonal freak out. But this was a little different. She was setting a rule but also trying to give me a way to back out of it. I could lie and say I had a lot of homework so I could hide in my room. I had a feeling Jack told her about my tendency to be anti social. But no matter my quarks and my negative attributes I always did my best to be honest. It was a way for me to hold onto myself while I was constantly thrown into other peoples lives. I had rules that I followed no matter the circumstances. And to live honestly was rule number two. I didn’t lie, I didn’t steal, and I didn’t go behind anyone’s backs. I never said anything about anyone that I wasn’t willing to say to their face. Of course rule number one was to never tell anyone about my ability. That was just common sense.

“No I don’t have any homework. I’m ahead in most of my classes.” I said matter-of-factly. Her eyebrows rose slightly but she nodded and turned back to the kitchen. I continued my way up to my room.

My room was on the second floor in the front left hand side of the house. It was a medium sized room with a queen sized bed on the right hand wall. There were two end tables one on each side. It had a walk in closet as well as a large cedar dresser with a matching book shelf next to it. There was a fancy writing desk on the right side of the room for homework or whatever I might need it for. The desk looked to the south into the side yard through a medium sized window. The walls were a midnight blue and the carpet was soft the same shade as the walls. My favorite detail though was the bay window that overlooked the street. The house faced the west so the sunlight streamed in in the afternoon and evening. Which was perfect for reading.

I looked around the room and sighed. It was by far the nicest room I’ve ever slept in in my opinion. When I was twelve I was placed with a rich couple. They delighted in having new children to show off, but didn’t like to show off the same one more than once. They had the most child turnover than any other home I was placed with. They had a mansion with a sweet for each kid they took in, but it was always too much for me. I didn’t like a lot of space because I didn’t use all of it. This room was perfect because it had just enough room without there being too much or too little. It was comfortable. I had to be careful though. Rule number three: never ever get too attached to anything or anyone. It made the separation that much more depressing.

I walked over to the closet and pulled out my bags to go ahead and unpack. I had two duffel bags worth of belongings. I never took anything with me when I left a home that had been bought or given to me. I didn’t want the people to feel like I had wronged them. I put both bags onto the beg and unzipped them. One was full of clothes. Seven shirts some short sleeve like the one I wore and some long sleeved for winter. And I had one pair of shorts for exceptionally hot summer days and five pairs of jeans. Also identical to the ones I wore. And on the bottom was my one and only hoodie. It was the only article of clothing I owned that had any designs on it. It was black like the rest of my shirts but it had a skull and dragon on the front. I loved that hoodie it was the first thing I bought myself after I got my first job.

The second bag was full of books and one photograph. It was me and my best friend when I was about eight. We were in the same home together. I was only with them for about six months, but in that short time we had become as close as sisters.

I put the picture on the desk and placed all of the books neatly on the book shelf. After that was done I hung all of my clothes in the closet, and put my odd assortment of undergarments in the dresser. All of five minutes and I was completely unpacked.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table. It was only three forty five. I took advantage of my free time to sit at the bay window and watch the sun drop slowly toward the horizon. There wasn’t a lot of traffic on this street. It was actually a really quiet neighborhood. Full of families and elderly couples. I could see young kids swinging on swing sets being pushed by their moms or dads. Kids a little older were riding their bikes up and down the street, but were always within sight of their parents. I didn’t see many teenagers, but that didn’t surprise me. This was a neighborhood for young families and couples old enough for their children to be starting their own families.

I felt the jealousy stir in the pit of my stomach. They had what I once had. What I would never have again. What I yearned for more than anything in the world. To have a family that loved you. That cared enough to keep you around no matter your oddities.

I shook my head and stomped down on my jealousy. Rule number four was one that I held onto the hardest: never look back, and never give in. No matter how badly I felt I couldn’t afford to dwell on what I did and didn’t have. I had me and that’s all I needed.

I moved to get up but a sleek black car caught my attention. I paused to watch it park in driveway at the end of the street. A tall dark figure unfolded out of the driver’s seat. I gasped. It was Zeke. I couldn’t seem to get rid of him. He was everywhere at school and now he lives just down the street. He had a nice car though.

I watched him pull his bag out of the car and turn toward his front door. He must have felt eyes on him because he turned to look in my direction. I jumped and hopped off the seat taking a few steps back into the room and out of site.

I plopped down on the bed and let out the breath I didn’t know I had been holding. I waited to the count of a hundred then inched back over to the window. He was gone. Probably inside. I continued to watch the street when I noticed Koner’s truck pulling into the driveway. I looked at the clock and sighed. It was five forty five. I had killed two hours just people watching. I went into my private bathroom to wash up for dinner. A habit formed when I lived with the wealthy.

I splashed cold water on my face to make me more alert. I dried my face with the hand towel on the sink and stared at my features in the mirror. Olive toned skin framed by dark brown hair pulled tight into a braid. Slightly arched eyebrows that seemed to give away any emotion I felt at the time. A strong straight nose with a slight bump where it had been broken during self defense classes. A square jaw with a strong chin. I had long eyelashes that framed eyes even darker than my hair, and dark circles under my eyes that never seemed to go away. I assessed my appearance and decided I looked tired. But my exhaustion was more mental than physical.

I let out another sigh and made my way back through the bedroom and down the stairs. I followed the sound of voices through the kitchen and into the old fashioned dining room. Koner and Sara were setting the table from the look of it they were trying to decide where I would be more comfortable sitting. I watched silently as they decided to both sit on one side of the table instead of one of them sitting at the head, and they put me opposite them. From what I could hear of their murmurs they were trying to treat me as an equal, but Sara was worried that it would seem like they were trying to separate themselves from me. I decided to put them out of their misery and stepped into the room.

I cleared my throat making them jump. “Can I help with anything?” I asked quietly.

“Oh yes umm where would you like to sit?” I pointed to the chair opposite the other two.

“There’s fine. Do you want me to do anything?”

“Everything’s already done. If your ready we can just dig in.” Koner answered and pulled Sara’s chair out for her. I walked over to the seat opposite her and sat down. Koner had been about to walk around the table, but he sat next to Sara with a slightly dismayed look. I hadn’t realized he was going to pull my chair out for me as well. It was very gentlemanly and I didn’t know what to make of it.

I waited awkwardly for them to start because I didn’t know their customs. I wasn’t sure if they said grace or just served themselves or if I was supposed to do something. Finally Sara took pity on me and started loading her plate from the arrangement of dishes in front of us. It looked like meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans. If I had been religious I would have thanked god for Sara making food that I actually liked. I couldn’t count how many meals I had to choke down in the past for the sake of not being rude.

Koner motioned for me to make my plate before he reached for his. I waited for him to get done and hesitated. The question of grace hadn’t been answered yet. Koner looked at Sara and she took her first bite then he turned to me. I was confused for a moment before I realized he was waiting for me to do the same. I hurriedly did the same and he started in on his own plate. It was quiet for a couple minutes with the only sound being the scrape of forks on plates. Until Sara looked over at Koner.

“So anything interesting happen today?” she asked. He launched into a tale of an old man and an ancient car that he had to find parts for that weren’t made anymore. The familiarity of the conversation made me relax slightly as I listened to his story. He had a deep soothing voice. I was suddenly filled with sorrow for the young couple. He would have made a great father that probably would have read to his children every night before bed. And I could see Sara getting their children up for school every morning with a smile and a hug. Breakfast waiting on the table.

I was startled out of my musings when Sara turned to me. She was looking at me expectantly. She must have asked me something while I was trapped in my own world.

“I’m sorry?” I asked. She gave a slight smile not upset at my rudeness.

“I asked if the food was okay. You stopped eating.” I looked down to see I had been resting my fork on my half eaten plate of food having forgotten to keep eating. I nodded really quick.

“Oh yes it’s very good. I’m sorry I was kind of lost in thought for a moment.” she smiled again and returned to her own dinner. I cleared my throat and looked down at the table. “Actually I did want to ask you guys something.” They looked at each other not sure whether to be nervous or not.

“Okay what is it?” Koner asked cautiously.

“I was wondering if you would mind if I got a job?” I held my breath as they exchanged surprised looks. Finally Koner turned back to me.

“Well if you really want to I don’t see why not. As long as it doesn’t interrupt your school work.” Sara nodded.

“It won’t”

“You know you don’t have to, right. I mean if you need anything all you have to do is ask.” Sara said hesitantly. I nodded.

“I know I’m just trying to save for college, and I don’t want to bother you for something I can just as easily get myself.”

“Alright what kind of job were you interested in maybe we can help?” Koner asked. I nodded.

“Well I’ve worked as a waitress, and at a couple convenience stores. A mechanics shop once but I was paid under the table because I was only fifteen.” Koner’s eyebrows almost touched his hairline as I mentioned the last one.

“Do you know a lot about cars?” I nodded.

“When I was thirteen I lived with a mechanic. He was pretty good but had a bad habit of tampering with a customer’s car to keep them coming back. Business wasn’t great. I used to have to wait at the shop after school for a couple hours. I watched what they did. When he noticed I had an interest he taught me everything he could. I think he was hoping for free labor. I guess he thought I’d be there longer than I was.” I shrugged and looked down at my plate taking a bite to try to lessen the tension a little. Koner nodded.

“After we get done with dinner I’ll make a few phone calls and see if I can’t find anything.”

“Okay, thank you” he smiled.

“Anytime” We finished the meal in silence and Koner retreated to his office. I offered to help Sara clean up, but she sent me on my way saying she was fine.

I went back up to my room and decided to take advantage of the waning sunlight and read a little. An hour later it was dark and I turned on my lamp just as there was a knock on my door. I called for them to enter and Koner walked in with a large manila envelop in his hand. He handed it to me.

“If you can fill this out tonight and leave it on the table by the door I can probably get you a job by tomorrow night.” I felt my eyes widen and nodded giving my thanks. He gave me a small smile and left closing the door softly behind him.

I went over to my desk switching on the lamp that on top of it. I searched through a couple drawers finally finding a pen. I opened the envelop to find a think packet of papers. I read the first paragraph and stared. It was a test to become a licensed mechanic. After a couple more minutes of staring I started on it.

An hour and a half later I finished. I spent another ten minutes going over all of my answers to make sure they were right then returned them to the envelop. I looked at the clock. It was a little after eleven so I switched off the desk lamp. I took a quick shower and slipped into my spaghetti strap shirt and pajama pants that I had been sleeping in for the last two years. I crawled into bed making sure my alarm was set for the right time then switched off that lamp.

I got comfortable and fell asleep for the first time for as long as I could remember I felt a shred of hope.

 

 I rolled over and hit my alarm to shut it up. I groaned as I rolled out of bed and stumbled to my closet. I didn’t have to spend time choosing my outfit for the day. All of my clothes are pretty much the same.

I went into my bathroom to brush my teeth, then I brushed my hair putting it into my usual braid. I went down stairs only a little more awake than when I got dressed. I stepped into the kitchen with the hope of grabbing something small to eat before school, but Sara was already in there.

She turned and smiled at me handing me a plate of eggs, sausage, and toast. At least it wasn’t as big as yesterday morning. I took it into the ding room and ate as quickly as I could. I didn’t want to be late for school again. Nothing attracted attention as well as getting in trouble.

I placed my plate in the kitchen and thanked Sara. I practically ran to my car, buckling my seat belt as I started the engine. I couldn’t risk speeding but I made it three minutes before the first bell anyway.

I sat down at my desk just as the second bell rang. I momentarily forgot where my locker was. Instead of reading through calculus I decided to try to keep ahead of the class. It would make things less stressful when I started working and didn’t have as much time.

There weren’t near as many stares or whispers today. So the class went by smoothly, and was almost enjoyable. Until my next class at least. I spent the whole hour ignoring Zeke’s stares again.

In physics it was twice as bad having him sitting right next to me. He seemed relaxed if not frustrated. He was wearing holes in his paper again struggling with the equations. I watched him out of the corner of my eye before I finally took pity on the paper.

With a sigh I leaned forward in my seat. He looked up at me with surprise. I reached over and grabbed his book pulling it until it sat in the middle of us. I leaned as close as I had to so I could explain the problem and still stay as far back as I could manage. I murmured the explanation to him and answered his questions. He had a nice voice. Deep but not too deep, and smooth.

I felt eyes on me and I glanced up to see the same girl from yesterday glaring at me. I rolled my eyes and looked back at the book. I looked at him to explain the next step to see him looking from me to the girl. He shook his head then concentrated on the problem. By the end of the class he had it down, and I was back in my own little world.

The rest of the day went just as smoothly. I didn’t have to talk to anyone, and nobody tried to talk to me. I managed to stay at my corner table at lunch undisturbed. My novels class was quiet since everyone was supposed to be reading. Though most of them were more interested in texting than the books. Choir was almost fun, the teacher decided I was good enough to stay in the class and placed me between the sopranos and altos since I could do both as needed. But it was my last class I looked forward too.

I really enjoyed shop because it allowed me to work with my hands, and I was expected to ignore everyone. I didn’t have to answer questions, and nobody asked me any. It was peaceful despite all the noise of the machines.

The day before I had to spend the hour in the classroom. I had to take a test on the safety and proper way to use the machines. I walked into the classroom. Since I was on time the other students were still in the room. They hadn’t gone into the actual shop yet. I almost swore when I saw Zeke at a table in the back. Ironically the teacher had assigned the seat next to him the day before. I sat down ignoring his usual stares and waited. The teacher came to our table and placed my test in front of me.

“How did you do it?” he asked with an accusatory tone. I looked at him confused. I didn’t bother to pick up the test I could see the hundred percent easily.

“Do what?”

“How did you cheat? Did you get a copy from another student? What?” Luckily he kept his voice down so the only people that could hear him were me and Zeke. Who was eavesdropping with no sign of shame.

“I didn’t cheat.” I was really offended by the accusation. I never cheated at anything.

“This test is four pages of essays. I’ve never had a student get a hundred percent on it.” I glared at him, and sat up straighter.

“I have never cheated on anything in my life. I’ve been in shop since the sixth grade. There isn’t a machine that I haven’t been tested on or used. If your so damn determined to fail your students then maybe you should be pickier about who you allow in your class.” His eyes widened at my curse, but he nodded and went back to his desk. I expected him to kick me out. It’s not everyday that a teacher would allow a student to talk to them in such a manner, but he just looked around and told us all to head back to the shop.

I turned to see Zeke staring at me intently. I didn’t say anything I just stood and followed everyone into the back room. The teacher was right behind me. He showed me where all of the safety equipment was and where he kept the materials. He told me I could make anything I wanted from whatever I wanted, and to just remember that I had to pay for it when I was finished. I nodded. That wasn’t a problem since I planned to have a job soon anyway.

I looked at the materials available to me. It took me a few minutes to decide what I wanted to make. I grabbed a pair of safety goggles and a slab of oak and set to work.

I was completely engrossed in my project to the point that I didn’t notice anything around me. About half an hour in someone tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped barely catching the router before it caused some irreparable damage. I turned to glare at the person who interrupted me. Surprise, surprise it was Zeke.

“What!” I snapped half irritated at him for interrupting me and half irritated at having been surprised. I saw a muscle twitch in his cheek like he was trying not to laugh. Which only made me glare harder. He nodded toward the door and went back to his work station. I looked over to see the teacher on the other side of the table. From the looks of him he had been trying to get my attention for awhile. I looked at the door and another student, a tall gangly guy with glasses and acne. He was holding a small pink piece of paper.

I walked over to him taking my goggles off. He handed me the paper awkwardly. I looked up at him and gave him a small smile to show that he wasn’t the source of my annoyance and thanked him.

I turned and walked back to my table before I bothered reading the message. I unfolded the paper and felt my eyes widen as I took in the words. I was to go to Koner’s shop right after school. I guess my test results came in.

 

 

 

 

Zeke

 

 

I watched as she read the note. I saw her eyes widen, and the small nervous smile that formed afterward. I don’t think I could ever forget the fire that lit up her eyes when she snapped at me. It was the most alive thing I’ve seen from her in the past two days of watching. It amazed me how unsettlingly happy I was to find out she had moved into a house that was just a few down from my own.

She went back to her work and completely tuned out the rest of the world again. I had wanted to shout for joy when she spoke her mind to Mr. Green. He was a self absorbed, obnoxious ass, and he needed to finally be put in his place. I was only grateful that I had been there and was the only one to witness it.

The more I watched her the more I wanted to get to know her. Now if only I could get her to talk to me. For real not just to tutor me.

Another town, another home, another school year in yet another school. If I had one realistic wish it would be for me to be able to stay in this school until I graduated. It was one month into the school year.

It wasn’t that unrealistic. It was my junior year I only had one year and eight months to go. I had just been transferred to this home two days ago over the weekend. I had lasted longer than usual in my home. A full year, then I had to go and ruin it by slipping up yet again. They were nicer than most about it though, and let me keep the car that they had given me when I got my license. It wasn’t new but it was reliable. For a 1990 Ford Taurus it ran great.

I gripped my steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before grabbing my bag and opening my door. I looked up at the three story building that was Dillon High School. Surprisingly it’s the only town in Green County that I haven’t lived in over the last eleven years.

I dropped my mostly smoked cigarette and stomped it out. I walked into the front door of the school and saw the office on the right. I had to knock on the glass window to get the secretaries attention. I told her my name and she wordlessly slid a packet through the slot in the window. Telling me rather rudely that I was five minutes late.

Of course it wouldn’t matter to her that my new foster mom was trying very hard to be nurturing to a teenager that had obviously had a hard past. She wouldn’t let me out of the house until I had eaten a three course breakfast. It was annoying but I didn’t fault her for it. My foster parents were young and I was their first foster child. From what I gathered they weren’t able to have children of their own and couldn’t afford to adopt, so they decided to become foster parents.

I opened my packet and found a student ID that they must have used a picture from my previous school. I also found my schedule and the traditional piece of paper that I had to have all of my new teachers sign to prove I had actually attended the class.

locker number 306

Calculus - room 207/ Mr. Holstein

Language Arts III - room 116/ Mrs. Hood

Physics II - room 320/ Mr. Holmes

American History - room 125/ Mr. Freibe

Lunch

Novels - room 102/ Mrs. Brown

Choir - room B1 / Mrs. Hollister

Shop - room 120/ Mr. Green

 

 

Great they had me all over the place. I’ve changed schools enough I wouldn’t have a hard time finding my way around, it was all pretty standard. The only thing I would have a problem with is finding my locker that was always difficult because it relied on the number of students not how many floors there were. I looked down both sides of the hallwayand spotted the stairs to my left.

I climbed to the second floor and started looking at the numbers on the doors. Each room I passed had a room full of students. I was not looking forward to being the new kid again. It was always the worst part of changing homes and schools.

I finally reached room 207 and I opened the door. The room wasn’t as full as the other rooms I had passed. I guess not many people wanted to take calculus. Everyone looked up as I walked in. I kept my eyes trained on the floor as I walked to the teachers desk. I handed him my slip of paper. He took it perching a pair of glassed on his nose. I looked at his mouth instead of his eyes. By this time I had had a lot of practice at averting eye contact while not seeming rude.

“Rayne Nyght. Okay glad to have you in the class just take a seat anywhere.” he instructed as he put his signature next to the class on the paper. I nodded taking the paper back. I lifted my eyes just long enough to scan the room for an empty seat away from everyone. I found the perfect back corner seat and dropped my eyes to the floor as I made my way to it.

I sat down dropping my bag to the floor just in time to catch a few girls on the other side of the room lean over to whisper. About me no doubt. The schools may change but standard teenage girl behavior rarely did.

The teacher brought me a text book and told me to turn to chapter six. I did as I was told and was relieved to see I had already learned the topic. I pulled my book out of my bag and got comfortable as I opened it to where I had left off.

The teacher only interrupted me once to ask a question about what they were learning. When I answered it correctly he let me go back to my reading. The hour passed quickly as I lived the life of the heroin in my book instead of suffering through my own.

When the bell rang I packed up my things and walked out the door without looking directly at anyone. I took the stairs down to the first floor and only had a little bit of trouble finding my next class. I arrived just before the second bell rang. It seemed there was only a three minute wait between bells instead of five minutes that I was used to. When I walked into the class room it was everyone was already there again. I repeated the process of handing over my paper. This time though the teacher didn’t say anything. She just signed her signature and waved me off. I found another corner seat and sat down.

I had kept my eyes on the floor but I felt eyes following me the whole time. I was used to the feeling of an entire class ogling the new girl. This was different. This was one set of eyes in particular. I glanced to my left to see a guy about three rows over leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. He had on sunglasses but his head was turned so he’d be looking right at me. I didn’t have a problem looking directly at him, and it didn‘t occur to me that it was weird for someone to be wearing sunglasses inside a classroom. The sunglasses hid his eyes so I couldn’t see them. I didn’t have to worry about seeing his memories.

He had black hair that just reached his ears. His jaw was chiseled and he had a prominent, straight nose. His lips were full without being too big. He had his legs stretched out and I could tell he was tall. Over six feet. His shoulders were wide and I could see the slightest bit of a tattoo peeking out of the sleeve of his t-shirt.

He reached to pull his sunglasses off and I immediately turned my attention back to my own desk. Again I was one chapter ahead of the class so I opened my book back up to where I was. I felt his eyes on me periodically through out the hour. It was almost a physical feeling and it was more distracting than the rest of the class peeking looks at me.

The teacher didn’t bother me. She just let me read. She either had tenure and didn’t care or this was an English class so it was allowed. Either way from the way her voice droned on and on she wasn’t a very good teacher.

The hour ended quickly, and I was the last out of the room. I checked my schedule again and headed for the third floor for physics. Again I was the last to enter. This room was set up differently from the others I have seen before. Instead of individual desks the room was lined with large black tables. There were two people to every table.

I tried to hand my paper to the teacher but he wasn’t paying attention. He was looking all over his desk for something. I tapped his desk with my knuckle to get his attention. He jumped and looked at me startled. He seemed a bit scatter brained. He was young to be a teacher at least of physics. He couldn’t have been older than twenty four. He wasn’t unattractive. He was tall and lean like a runner. His hair was a light brown that hung in his eyes. It was messy like he kept running his hands through it. His hands were long and his fingers elegant. He looked like he hadn’t had a hard days work in his life.

“Oh hello, can I help you?”

“I’m Rayne” he gave me a blank look. All of the teachers were supposed to be aware that this was my first day. I handed him my sheet of paper. “Rayne Nyght I’m supposed to be starting your class today.” he took the paper from me and squinted at it. It occurred to me that he might have been looking for his glasses when I walked in. The glasses that were perched on top of his head. I cleared my throat and he looked at me. I tapped the side of my head. He reached up and touched his glasses. His face flushed and he propped his glasses on his nose. He looked at the paper in his hand and he got a look of comprehension.

“Oh yes you’re the f-” my face fell and he quickly amended “transfer student.” His face flushed again at his close slip up. We both know what he was about to say. Foster kid. If he had finished the word he would have branded as a target for everyone in the school. They would find out eventually, they always do, but by then they will already think I’m odd so it wouldn’t matter as much. At worst they would assume that that was what was wrong with me. He stumbled to compensate for his almost mistake. “Yes I remember now. I read your file and your notes from your previous physics teacher. He said you were a very intelligent young woman. Always kept up with your homework and excelled at the tests.” I raised my eyebrows at him. He wasn’t just scatter brained he was also not very skilled with people. At my look he shut his mouth before he said anything else. “Well it’s a pleasure to have you. I’m afraid everyone must be partnered for labs, and there is only one other without a partner. You’ll sit at the table with him.” he handed me a text book and pointed to the last table in the back to the left. I looked where he was pointing. It was the same guy that had been staring at me in my last class. Luckily he had his sunglasses back on. I walked back to the table and took the chair on the right. The teacher introduced us. “Rayne this is Zeke. Zeke this is Rayne.”

We gave a nod in acknowledgment and turned our attention back to the teacher. Well he did but I looked at my textbook. It was the exact same one I had at my last school. I couldn’t help but to smile a little. I really enjoyed physics and by the time I was transferred I was left alone a lot. So I spent my time as no sane teenager would. I had read every chapter up to twenty and had completed each problem leading up to it. I was set in this class probably for the entire year if I wanted.

I pulled my book back out and judging from the physical way that I was aware of Zeke I pulled out my mp3 player to help me ignore him. I leaned back in my chair and propped my knee against the table and opened my book. I managed to ignore Zeke in varying degrees throughout the hour. Though his presence was a constant disturbance in my concentration. I don’t know why I was so aware of him. He wasn’t the first guy I had ever been partnered with, and he wasn’t going to be the last. I was usually very good at ignoring people. You might say I excelled at it. But his presence was always in the back of my mind. His proximity a constant distraction.

 

 

Zeke

 

She sat there next to me as though I didn’t exist. She was leaned back. Her knee propped against the table her leg swinging slightly. Not a reaction I was used to from girls. Her headphones emitted a slight sound though I couldn’t place. She looked totally engrossed in her book just as she had in our last class.

I hadn’t missed the smirk when she looked at the textbook. Just as I hadn’t missed the fact that she wouldn’t look at me if I didn’t have my glasses on. In fact she hadn’t looked anyone in the eye at all that I had seen. She kept her eyes trained on the floor the way someone with bad self esteem would. But she held her body in a manner that exuded confidence. An extreme contradiction and the thing that caught my attention.

I wished I could just reach over and touch her. Find out her secrets. What made her the way she was. To the untrained eye she was the epitome of calm. But I was always good at noticing the little things. Like the way she seemed to mess with her braid when something was bothering her. Like for example someone staring at her like I did most of last hour. And the way her legs were never still. Almost like she was ready to bolt at a moments notice. The way her hands were always fidgeting either messing with her hair, or tapping her fingers, and more often than the others the way she messed with the ring on the middle finger of her left hand.

I looked at the ring. It had a small thin band of silver that wove intricate designs around an onyx stone. She messed with it the most when she was deep in thought. Twisting it around her finger, but always returning it to the right position. It was obviously something that she had worn for a long time.

She had long dark hair plaited in a braid that reached the middle of her shoulder blades. She had an olive skin tone and the darkest eyes I had ever seen. She wore a baggy t-shirt obviously meant for a man with blue jeans underneath. Almost as though she were trying to look as ordinary as possible. Her clothes fit so that it showed very little of her body. Making it difficult to tell whether she was chubby or thin.

As I watched she pulled the braid over her shoulder and tugged on it lightly. She felt me staring just as she had in our last class. I couldn’t help the smirk as I turned to look at the front of the class again. I really should have been paying attention. This was the only class I had trouble with. I flipped open my book to the right chapter. I didn’t bother trying to listen to the teacher. I couldn’t learn that way so I started in on the problem I had left off at.

After the fifth time of erasing and starting over I was pretty sure I had the right answer. Movement caught my attention and I glanced to my right. Rayne was looking at my paper and shaking her head slightly. I raised an eyebrow at her. The only part of my eyes that could be seen over my glasses.

She rose to my challenge and leaned forward putting her book on the table words down to keep her place. She grabbed the pencil out of my hand and pulled my note book out from under my hand to her. She grabbed a calculator out of her bag and looked at the book. When she found the problem I was working on she paused. I watched as her eyes skimmed the page and she set to writing. It took her only a couple seconds and she pushed the notebook back to me with the pencil sitting on it. I looked at what she had written.

She had copied the problem shown in the book. Then solved it in a neat column. Her handwriting was small and neat. Next to the answer she had written three words, trace it backwards. I did as she said and realized my mistake. It took me ten minutes to finish the fifteen problems I had left following her example. A personal best.

The bell rang and I watched her stand and head out the door. I hoped I had more classes with her. She was intriguing. I continued on to my next class hoping I would be able to concentrate.

 

 

An hour later I walked into the lunch room. I scanned the room then realized I was looking for her. I walked to my friend’s usual table. It was on the left second to the last table in the impossibly square room. I sat down and waited. I didn’t eat school food. I found it inedible.

I didn’t have to wait long for my friends to show up. All three of them walked in joking and shoving each other. They were a bunch of morons, but you couldn’t find more loyal friends. Jason was the smallest and the most picked on. He was the last to join our group. Courtesy of us saving his ass from a few boys twice his size. Frank was the largest. Built like a bulldozer. He was about six five with shoulders about the width of the most standard door frames. He was also the kindest. He didn’t like saying a bad word about his most hated enemies. William was average. Average in everything he did. An average six feet, an average build, average brown hair, average grades.

The came up to the table and Jason plopped down in his seat. He always sat with his back to the forever empty back table. Frank pulled his out and turned it so it faced the majority of the room. He always sat in the seat closest to the door. Will plopped down in his directly across from me. I always kept my back to the wall so I could see everyone. I liked to know everything that was going on. I suppose that’s why I was interested in the new girl. She presented a challenging mystery.

I looked up at the door just in time to see her walk in. Several people turned to look at her. Including my friends.

“Hey there’s the new girl. Any of you know anything about her?” Will asked. Jason was the first to answer.

“She’s in American history with me. She never said anything and the teacher didn’t introduce her.”

“I haven’t seen her yet. But everyone’s talking about her.” Frank said in his soft voice. Sometimes I wondered if he softened his voice intentionally so he wouldn’t seem quite as intimidating.

“She’s not in any of my classes, but Donna is. She sits in front of me in algebra. She was bitching at her friends. Apparently she had tried to talk to the girl, and she just looked at her like she had some kind of disgusting disease, then turned and walked away.”

Donna was the Barbie clone. Homecoming queen, head cheerleader, big boobs, fake blonde hair. The works. She slept with any guy she thought she had to to get her crown. She tried it with me once and got the preverbal smack down. Ever since she flirted with me every chance she got. To her I was the one she couldn’t have and it drove her crazy.

“Her name’s Rayne.” I said and they all turned to look at me with varying degrees of surprise. I never participated in their student gossip. I new that each of those people they loved to talk about had a past and a personality. Even if they all weren’t gems.

“How in the hell did you find out more than we did?” Will asked with a fair amount of indignity. I lifted a shoulder.

“She’s my physics partner.”

“Good maybe then she can help you pass the class.” I gave him my middle finger and they all laughed. Although I had had the same thought more than once in the last hour.

She stood near the door and scanned the room. My laughing friends caught her attention and she headed in our direction. I watched to see what she would do. She walked past us to the table behind us. She pulled a chair the couple feet so her back would be to the wall. She propped her feet on another chair and crossed her ankles pulling her book out of her bag that she leaned against her chair.

I watched her for a second then turned my attention to the rest of the room with difficulty. If I kept staring at her then she might not want to talk to me. I listened to my friends talk and laugh at each other’s expense. About ten minutes later someone walked over to her table and sat down in the chair closest to her. It was Sam.

Sam was the token pretty boy of the school, as well as the cruelest. I knew what would happen before she even acknowledged him. He would do what he always did. He would turn on his charm, and convince her to do something with him. She, being the new girl and alone, would be flattered and agree. He would woo her for as long as he needed to until he had her in his bed. He’d use her once, twice, maybe three times if she was lucky. Then he’d throw her away leaving her heart broken and lonely. Then he would trash her to the rest of the school to make sure she stayed lonely.

“Hey I’m Sam.” to my surprise she ignored him. His smile fell a little at the corners. “So there’s a party tonight. I was wondering if you’d like to go with me. Maybe meet some people?” his demeanor never changed but instead of answering she pulled a cell phone out of the side pocket on her bag. She checked the time and slipped her book into her bag. Finally she spoke.

“You know, I’ve been to a lot of schools. I’ve met a lot of people, and every school is typical. After meeting all of those people I’ve learned one thing.” she bent down and picked her bag up standing at the same time.

“Oh and what’s that?” he asked with a flirty smile meant to disarm. She walked around the table opposite him and looked at him for the first time. She didn’t meet his eyes, but looked at his forehead instead.

“That guys like you should be neutered at birth.” she turned and walked away leaving him with his face turning red. She walked till she was about three feet past our table then stopped. She looked at the time again and looked around with a perplexed look. She turned to look at our table and looked at Frank. She walked over to him. He had his head turned and was talking to Jason. She reached over and tapped his shoulder with her index finger. He jumped a little and turned to her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you.” in her hast to apologize she looked him directly in the eye. She froze and her eyes dilated completely. It only lasted for a moment but a moment was long enough for me to see it. He stood in front of her. Forever the southern gentleman his dad taught him to be. Her head didn’t reach past his shoulder, and when he stood so abruptly it left her looking directly at his chest. Her eyes lifted slowly going from his chest to his shoulder to his chin then finally meeting his eyes again. Her head was tilted back so she could see his face. She wore an expression of slight surprise. No fear, no intimidation, no self consciousness just surprise.

“Umm, hi.” she said apparently at a momentary loss for words.

“Hello” he answered his voice softer than usual.

“I was just wondering if you could tell me where the library is?” she asked.

“Oh yes you go into the hallway and turn right it’s the last door on the left.” she nodded.

“Ok thank you” before she could walk away Frank stuck his hand out.

“My name is Frank.” she looked at his hand the look of surprise returning. She took his hand slowly. For the first time I noticed that she had small hands with slender fingers. It looked like a child’s in his large hand.

“Rayne”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too.” she gave him a small smile and turned to walk out of the room. I was momentarily stunned. She looked stern and guarded always making her features severe. But when she smiled she looked completely different. All of her features softened and lightened like a light was shining from under her skin. At that moment I would give anything to have that smile directed at me. For the first time in my life I was envious of someone.

Chapter 3

Rayne

 

I parked my car in the shop’s lot and climbed out. I was so nervous my hands were shaking when I pulled my key out of the ignition. I walked through the front door and my mouth fell open.

I had heard a lot of things about Koner’s shop, but this was beyond words. Just as you walk in you see the counter and register. Behind it were shelves of various parts, and to the side were numerous shelves of different types of oil. To the right the room opened up to the garage. There were seven different stations for the mechanics with every piece of machinery someone could possibly need. The amazing part was that it was pristine. Everything was as clean as if it were new.

I could smell the various fluids that were used in and on a vehicle. I loved that smell. The way I loved working with my hands and the thought of taking a broken down vehicle and making it run like new. Oddly I liked the mess that came with it. To me it kind of proved that I worked on something and did my best, and succeeded.

“Rayne”

I turned at the sound of my name to see Koner standing in a doorway. I could see a little behind him and it looked like an office. He motioned me forward and went back into the room. I followed him and closed the door behind me softly.

The office was just as clean as the garage. It reminded me of him. Neat and organized with soft wooden tones, but had the possibility of looking severe if you were being called in to be reprimanded.

He was binding over a small stack of papers and motioned for me to sit in the chair on the opposite side of the desk. I sat and waited quietly for him to finish what he was doing. I sat at the end of my chair, my back straight, and my hands folded in my lap. After a couple minutes he straightened his papers and looked up at me.

“Sorry about that I had to make sure everything was in order for you.”

“What do you mean?” he turned the pages around and pushed them to me.

“These are all of the papers I need you to sign if your going to start tomorrow.” I looked up at him in surprise.

“Start?”

“I have a few friends in some convenient places. I faxed over your licensing test to him this morning. He graded it and sent it back to me. Your mechanic’s license will be in the mail in a couple days. For now I know that your licensed and that’s good enough for me. If you don’t want to work here that’s fine. I know that working for me might make things a little awkward. But you said you wanted a job and I have one available. It’s for after school Monday through Friday with time off for any school function you might have. It will from about three thirty to six. I know it’s not much but it pays twenty five an hour so you’ll still make more than working nights anywhere else. If you ever need a break to catch up on homework or just relax for a couple days just me know. So what do you say? Do you want the job?”

I sat there and stared at him for a moment or two. Twenty five dollars an hour, five days a week and weekends off. This was just too good to be true. I mean a job is a job, but this was different. Not only is it a good job, but because of him I now had a lively hood. If anything went wrong and I couldn’t go to college this was something I could fall back on.

He watched me for a couple moments then started looking worried. Finally I snapped my mouth shut and nodded my head vigorously. Yes I definitely wanted the job. He nodded much more slowly and stood up stretching.

“Ok just go through those papers and sign any that need it. I’ve already filled them out for you since I had the information from the file Mr. Harvest gave us. If you want you can go through them and make sure I got them right, but I need your signature on a few of them so I can put it into the system tonight. When your done you can go ahead and go home.”

He turned and headed for the door leaving me to finish the paperwork for my immediate employment. When he opened the door he took a step, but turned and looked back at me.

“Oh and uh I’d really appreciate it if you went easy on Sara when you got home.”

I must have looked as confused as I felt but he gave an embarrassed shrug and reached up to run his hand through his hair nervously.

“Well you see I kinda already called her and told her that you passed your test, and I was gonna offer you the job here. So she wouldn’t worry if you got home late. She was pretty excited, and she really likes to celebrate any occasion she can. So she’ll probably want to do something for you. I understand that doing things with people makes you uncomfortable, but if you could try to turn her down gently? Please?.” I nodded and he gave me a smile then left closing the door after him.

After a couple minutes of contemplating what Sara could possibly want to do with me I turned back to the paper. I grabbed a pen off the desk and started flipping through trying to find the places I needed to sign.

Ten minutes later I was starting my car. I made it home soon after and gently opened the door. I had just placed my keys in the bowl when Sara pounced.

“Oh my god! I heard the good news congratulations!”

I jumped and turned around to face her. In my surprise I made eye contact. My second slip up in two days. The pressure at the back of my neck burst into my skull and I was transported to a small fenced in yard. There was a little blonde girl in a pink dressed no older than two squatted down digging in the mud with a stick. She was barefoot and she had dirt caked all the way up to her knees. She turned as a tall blonde woman opened the back door.

“Sara! I told you not to get dirty! Now I have to give you a bath again before we go to church.” Sara dropped her head. “Now get in the house.” the woman looked stern but there was amusement in her eyes, and a smile that was fighting to form on her face. Sara ran into the house.

Shift

Sara was in a formal gown standing on a stage. She looked to be about seven or eight. An older woman placed a crown on her head.

Shift

She stood at a casket looking down at her mother. Her eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot. She was ten years old. Her father put his arm around her shoulders and cried openly.

Shift

She was a teenager passing out flyers to a bunch of other students. They were for a homecoming committee.

Shift

She was climbing onto the back of a Harley behind Koner.

Shift

She was in another formal gown, but this time it was for prom. She was dancing with Koner and they looked beautiful together.

Shift

She was in her wedding dress, walking down the aisle on her father’s arm. Koner stood at the alter looking great in a tux. He looked star struck as he watched her. He took her hand from her father.

Shift

They were sitting in a doctor’s office, and Sara was crying on Koner’s shoulder. The doctor was telling them Koner was sterile. He offered other alternatives but Sara refused. Koner sat with silent tears.

Shift

She was sitting in a room on the opposite side of the hall from mine. It was decorated as a nursery. She sat in a rocking chair looking at an empty crib with silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

Shift

Sara was on the phone with Jack. He was telling her he had a child he needed placed in their home in the next two days. She had a look of joy on her face.

Shift

I walked through the front door. Looking lost and lonely and scared.

 

I blinked and was brought back to the present with my hands held tightly in hers. She was looking at me expectantly.

“I’m sorry what?” I asked still a little disoriented by the trip through her memories.

“How about we go out. We can bring something home for dinner. Come on lets go celebrate.”

I was about to politely decline but then I really looked at her. She seemed so genuinely excited for me. She was so young and energetic and bubbly. For a moment I saw her again at her mother’s funeral, and crying over an empty crib. She had suffered so much sadness. What’s a couple hours of spending time with her, and risking getting too close if it made her happy. Even if it was only for a couple hours they would still be happy memories to help counter the number of memories filled with tears. So I took a deep breath and plastered a smile on my face.

“Okay” I watched her eyes widen in happy surprise.

“Really? Oh this will be so fun. We’ll go to mall and go shopping. I have a bunch of money saved up and of course the check came in for you.”

She was babbling a mile a minute while she gathered her purse. But something she said caught my attention.

“What check?” I asked confused I’d never gotten a check other than a paycheck, and I’d already gotten my last check from the diner I’d worked at before. She looked up at me confused.

“The social security check that comes from the foster care office. Here.” she said handing me an envelope. I opened it to see a six hundred dollar check. I closed the envelop and handed it back to her.

“No this is your’s for taking care of me.”

“Oh, but we don’t need it. It’s supposed to be for anything you need, and anything else we don’t mind taking care of.”

“No really, I would really prefer that you kept it. For any extra expense that I cost you. I don’t mind buying my own things, but I know I contribute to your bills. Like food and electric and stuff. I’d feel better if you kept it for anything you needed or wanted. I don’t want to be a burden.” I kept my eyes on the floor when I spoke the last sentence. When I looked back up she looked like she was going to argue further. She must of seen something on my face because she closed her mouth and nodded.

“Okay, well let’s get going. I’d like to be back before Koner gets home.” I nodded and she grabbed her keys, and headed out the door with me on her heels.

 

About twenty minutes later we pulled into the parking lot of the mall. I took a deep breathe before getting out of the car. I hated going to crowded places. Every time I was around a lot of people the pressure at the back of my neck always got worse the longer I was there. Eventually it always ended in a barrage of memories from complete strangers. It always left me almost catatonic. Unable to talk or respond or even see anyone.

I could only hope that she didn’t want to shop for too long. I would smile and act as happy as I could, but I could already feel the pressure starting, regardless of the release I just had.

We walked in the front door and Sara immediately led me to the left towards some clothing stores. The first one we walked into was quiet and almost deserted. Sara led me around some racks babbling about something or other when she stopped and pulled a shirt off the rack and holding it up against me.

“Oh this would look great on you.” I looked down at it and tried not to look like I wanted to vomit.

“Umm bright red really isn’t my color.” she pursed her lips thoughtfully and returned the shirt to it’s place. She tried again with a bright blue, a baby pink, and a neon yellow. Each one earning a more than negative response from me. Finally she sighed and turned to me. “Okay so none of theses are your colors. What is your color exactly?” I looked down at my plain black shirt and held my arms wide. She pursed her lips again. “Okay I can work with that.” she led us out of the store and into another one. She went to the first rack and looked through the clothes. Finally she gave an ah ha and pulled three black shirts and thrust them at me pointing to the dressing room. I sighed and went where she pointed.

The first shirt was long sleeved and tight. I mean really tight. It hugged every aspect of my torso from the middle knuckles on my hands to the edge of my jeans. I looked at myself in the mirror and lifted my arms. Just as I had suspected the shirt rode up to show my lower stomach. This was not the way to avoid attention. In fact it screamed, look at me!

“Come on I want to see.” Sara called from outside the door.

“I don’t think I should”

“Oh come on I’m not good with suspense.” I took a deep breathe. Then another and another.

“Okay” I opened the door slowly and stepped out. She gasped and her mouth dropped open.

“My god. Look at you. You have a figure. And a really nice one too. Why don’t you show it off?”

“I don’t really like a lot of attention.”

“I don’t see why not. You’re hot you should enjoy it. Seriously I mean look at you. You’ve got all the right curves and a flat sculpted stomach.” I could feel myself starting to blush. “Well go on go try on the rest of them.” I nodded and retreated into the dressing room again.

The second shirt was a t-shirt with a scoop neck. It was designed to hang off one shoulder and stay loose until it reached my stomach where it tightened even tighter than the last one. I walked out of the dressing room and she whistled.

“That looks fantastic. We’ll need to get you a strapless bra though.” My eyes widened.

“I cant’ afford this.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous it’s on me.”

“But…”

“Look I’ve suddenly come upon six hundred extra dollars and you said it was for anything I want. Well I want to spend it on getting you some nice clothes. Or have you decided you want it after all?” she raised her eyebrows as she asked the question. I narrowed my eyes a little. She was sneakier than I gave her credit for. She was either going to spend all of the money on me or I would keep the money. Which ever I chose she would still get her way.

“No I don’t want it. It’s your money to spend however you choose.” I answered and she smiled.

“Good now go try on the last one.”

This one looked deceptively like a regular t-shirt on the hanger. Unfortunately it was just as tight as the others. The neck was lower showing a little bit of cleavage. Nothing too indecent but again not a shirt for avoiding notice.

While I was trying on the last shirt she had been gathering others. I stepped out to see her holding five more. Three of them weren’t black.

“Okay so I know you said you didn’t like colors, but I was wondering if you would except dark colors.”

She held up the three she was talking about. One was a dark royal purple, another was a deep forest green, and the third was a midnight blue so dark it could almost be black. I looked them over and nodded. She smiled really wide and handed them to me.

The royal purple as difficult to figure out. It had spaghetti straps in confusing places. It was long sleeved but the sleeved broke at the shoulders and was held to the rest of the fabric by strings meant to go across the shoulders. The fabric was one piece for the underarms and the rest of the shirt. The back had vertical strings that connected the fabric to a strip of clothe that went across the back of the neck. It just showed my shoulder blades. It had a slight scoop neck that showed a tiny bit of cleavage. The rest of the torso was all one piece but just as tight as the rest.

The midnight blue was a simple spaghetti strapped shirt that had little fake diamonds. It looked almost like shooting stars. Again it was form fitting. The forest green shirt was the simplest of them all. It was a t-shirt that fit tight but had a plain front. However the back had crisscrossing straps that crossed over my shoulders.

All in all I ended up with eight shirts. Five black, some with designs, and three with color. Not too bad. After I tried on the last shirt she took them all to the register to pay for them. After she was done and we had our bags she turned to look at me. Pursing her lips yet again.

“You need some decent jeans.” she said nodding to herself.

“There’s nothing wrong with my jeans!” I said indignantly.

“Of course not. Only that they’re boys jeans. You need something more feminine to show of your hips.” she turned and walked out of the store. I held my tongue I knew there was no use arguing. She’d likely just guess my size.

We spent another half hour with me trying on different jeans. She always picked out blue or black jeans. Some had designs and some had holes, but all of them were tight. They hugged my waist and all the way down go just above my knees where they flared to cover my shoes. At the end of that half hour I had the same number of pants as I did shirts.

I was hoping we were done but then she turned to a shoe store. Where she made me pick out new tennis shoes. I refused to buy sandals though. We were about done when a pair of boots caught my attention. They were knee high with silver chains crisscrossing all the way up. The toe was flat but the heel was spiked. If I had to guess I’d say they were three inches. Sara saw me looking and grabbed a pair in my size.

Our arms were almost full and I found myself hoping we were done again. And again she led me to another store. This one made me blush. It was a lingerie store. She walked through and grabbed a strapless bra, one that the straps were interchangeable, and a push up bra. I started heading to the counter but she stop and picked out a shear nightgown, and a bra and panty set that were meant for nothing more than showing off what it was supposed to cover. When I protested she told me not to worry it was only for when I wanted to feel sexy. I sighed but didn’t protest any more when she put it on the counter with the rest of them.

Afterwards she led me to a makeup store promising that it was the last stop. When she tried to pick up a variety of different products. Some of which I had never heard of I finally put my foot down.

“I don’t wear makeup.”

“Not even a little?”

“No it takes too much time and why would I wear it to work on cars?”

“Please just a little?” I sighed. She looked so cute when she pouted.

“Fine I’ll use eyeliner.” she squealed.

“Okay what about some eye shadow. They have some that basically tell you how to do it with the way its kept in the container.”

“Okay but only dark colors I don’t look very good in bright ones.” she nodded and picked out some black and silver that matched my clothes.

Finally we made our way to the car with our bags. We had to put them in the trunk because they wouldn’t fit in the back seat. We stopped by KFC on the way to the house. When we walked in Koner rushed to us to help us with our burden. His eyes widened as he took in all of our bags. He looked from her to me and back.

“What did you do to the poor girl?” he asked. She looked at me in surprise.

“Nothing we just went shopping. You should see all of the cute clothes we found for her. I can’t wait to see her in them.”

“Well hon. Do you think it might have made her a little uncomfortable?” he asked with true concern. Sara looked at me with worry written all over her. I smiled at them both.

“No I had fun. Really.” I assured them and realized I meant it. I hadn’t even noticed my ability trying to push through my control. I felt oddly relaxed. Sara beamed and Koner looked convinced. “I’ll just take these up to the room and then I’ll come back to eat.” I grabbed all of the bags the best that I could and started up the stairs.

I dropped them on the floor in front of the closet door, and heaved a huge sigh. I may have felt relaxed, but I was also exhausted. I decided to put everything away later and hurried down stairs to eat.

Chapter 4

I cracked my knuckles in frustration as I watched Rayne read her book in the cafeteria. She’s been living here for two weeks and she won’t so much as talk to me. It doesn’t matter what I do or say anytime I approach her with anything other than a physics question she shoots me down and pulls away. She’s impossible to get close to. What I wouldn’t give to just be able to reach out and touch her. To find out everything I want to know in just one touch.

I looked back to my friends and tried to pick up their conversation. It was useless. I had no idea what they were talking about. After a couple minutes of being stuck in my own mind I was jarred when a group of four girls came to our table. It took all of my self control not to groan.

Elizabeth was among them. Actually she was kind of the leader of their group. They were basically the outcasts except even the outcasts wouldn’t except them. They were pretty much the least attractive girls in the school. But they were girls that had obvious potential. The ones that at the ten year reunion they would turn from caterpillars to butterflies, and would have success added on to it. But right now they were all gangly, knock kneed, and braces. Liz was the leader just because she was the most attractive of the unattractive. Instead of a weight problem or braces she was just plain. There was absolutely nothing remarkable about her. Average looks and average grades. She could be William’s twin.

I had the unfortunate luck to do something nice for her once. And since then she seems to think she has a chance with me. I’ve turned her away at every opportunity, but she never gave up. She was constantly there always hanging on my arms and sitting as close as she could. I’ve entertained the idea of giving her a shot, but it would just be to pass the time and I couldn’t bring myself to do that to her.

She pulled a chair over and sat as close to me as she could manage. I was drastically losing my patience with her.

“Hey guys what’s up?” she asked taking the lead, and trying to dispel the tension their arrival caused.

“Nothing” Jacob answered uneasily. The guys knew how much Liz annoyed me. We all sat in an awkward silence for a few moments. Finally I’d had enough.

“Look Liz we were just talking about something really important.”

“Oh really what about?” Sometimes I wondered if she was really the airhead she seemed or if it was all an act.

“Well that’s kind of the point. It was a private conversation.” She looked at me expectantly “As in not something we can talk about with you. Or around you. And we really need to finish talking so…” She blinked twice then sighed.

“Okay we’ll be going then. Call me sometime?” she stood still staring at me. I gave a noncommittal sound and her and her friends walked away.

“So what important private conversation were we having?” Will asked with raised eyebrows.

“How in the hell to get her to leave me alone.” They all laughed and relaxed. Suddenly Will sat up straight and turned in his seat. I looked over to see what had caught his attention.

Rayne had stood and was putting her mp3 player up. It was an everyday thing with her. She sat by herself at lunch. Never talked to anyone. Always left when someone tried to sit with her. And after lunch was half over she would put her stuff up and go to the library until class.

“What’s going on?” Frank asked.

“The shows about to start.”

“What show?” I asked uneasy. She hadn’t made any friends and made more than one enemy since she had gotten here.

“She’s in choir with me, and has an amazing voice. Some of the girls are going to ask her to help them with their songs for state.” Will was average in almost everything. Except his voice. He was an amazing singer, and was almost famous for it in the school’s music circle.

“Why didn’t you tell us you had a class with her? We’ve been trying to figure her out for weeks and you could have given us more information.” Jacob accused. Will just shrugged.

“It’s her business if she can sing. Everyone doesn’t need to know everything about her.”

I looked up when she was level with our table. Just as three of the die hard choir girls walked up to her. Effectively cutting her off and trapping her.

“Hi I’m Cassy can we talk to you about something?” Rayne’s eyes were as wide as saucers and she looked like a startled rabbit.

“Umm okay.” Cassy smiled. She had a slight gap in her front two teeth but other than that she was pleasant enough. She had strawberry blonde hair and hazel eyes. She was pale with a slight splash of freckles across her nose.

“Great so we’ve heard you in choir and you’re awesome. We sing solos and we have an ensemble that we compete in for state each year. Each year we do okay but the judges always say that there’s nothing to put us apart from every other contestant. They say that we border on boring. Well we were just wondering if maybe you could help us out?” she had so much hesitation I wondered if she would even wait for the answer. I didn’t know much about Rayne, but I knew she wasn’t a people person.

Rayne stared at her for a count of ten. Then cleared her throat awkwardly.

“Well it’s not that I wouldn’t like to, but I don’t do well with people. Apparently I have an attitude problem or something. Umm I’m sorry, but I can’t.” Cassy’s face fell and she looked so down trodden like her last hope failed her. She mumbled an okay and thanks anyway then turned and started walking away with her friends right behind her. I watched Rayne for a moment as different emotions passed over her face. Embarrassment, guilt, annoyance, guilt, frustration, and then more guilt.

“Wait” she called seeming completely defeated. The girls turned to look back with so much hope it was sad. “I work during the week so we’ll have to figure something out for the weekend and use the music room when we can.”

All three girls started squealing and jumping up and down with joy. Rayne winced as if the sound was painful. I kind of thought so too.

“Really? You’ll help us?” Cassy asked smiling from ear to ear.

“Yes, but don’t make a big deal out of it.” she answered hurriedly and the girls immediately calmed down.

“Of course” finally the girls hurried away and Rayne’s shoulders sagged a little like she was taking on a huge weight.

“I knew it.” Will said. I looked at him expecting him to be talking to us. Instead he was still facing Rayne. She looked back at him.

“Knew what?” she asked with narrowed eyes.

“That underneath that tough exterior you’re all soft.” She took a step toward him and all of us tensed. All of us except Will.

“Don’t make me show you just how tough I really am.” It wasn’t until she was walking away with a slight smile that I realized they were just teasing each other.

Will turned back around chuckling softly and looked up to see us all staring at him.

“What was that?” Jacob demanded.

“What was what?” Will asked looking down at the table.

“She talked to you.” I said it came out almost like an accusation. He shrugged.

“So?”

“So she doesn’t talk to anyone.”

“She talks to me sometimes.” Frank said softly. We all turned on him. He lifted one shoulder. “Her locker is just a few down from mine. We see each other in the morning and after school. She doesn’t say much. It’s mostly a good morning and have a good day kind of thing.”

“Well what do you know about her that you haven’t been telling the rest of us?” Jacob asked. He seemed to be taking this as a betrayal. I mostly felt jealous.

“She likes paranormal and fantasy adventure books. That’s about it. Like Frank said she doesn’t say much. So are you still giving us a ride home today?” He asked me in an attempt to change the subject. I sighed.

“Not unless you all want to come with me to the garage. There’s something wrong with my car.”

“It’s cool with me I don’t have anything better to do.”

“Yeah I might as well.” Jacob added in a slight sulk from the previous conversation. Frank nodded his agreement, and it was set. At least I would have some company while I waited. My dad was cool, but not much of a conversationalist, and he had to be there to pay for whatever work had to be done.

 

I pulled the car up to the last garage where my dad and Mr. Keely stood talking. When they noticed me Mr. Keely waived me forward into the building. We all climbed out and joined my dad. He and Mr. Keely had become good friends a few years ago when a jack faltered and landed him. They met in my dad’s emergency room. My dad had finished his hospital internship right before I was born. Since then he’s become the most preferred doctor in the county.

“Hi Mr. Keely.” I said politely.

“Oh I’m still too young yet to be Mr. Keely. Call me Koner .”

“Okay”

“So what do you need done?” he asked indicating the car.

“I don’t know it keeps stalling.” I answered. Being male made it a little embarrassing to admit I knew nothing about cars. I loved my car but that was mostly because it was fast.

“Alright I’ll get it looked at then.”

“Might as well get the oil changed, the tires rotated, and an alignment done while were here.” My dad added. Koner nodded.

“Ok I’ve got the perfect person to handle it.” Koner answered. My dad looked concerned. Koner always worked on our vehicles himself.

“You won’t be doing it?” Koner shook his head.

“No I’ve got someone else for it. Don’t worry she’s even better than I am.” he turned away just as all five of us said the same thing.

“She?” He whistled so loud it made my ears ring slightly.

“Hey! Number seven! I’ve got a good one for you!” Immediately after he finished speaking all of the other mechanics started whistling and shouting. A moment later I started hearing the sound of wheels on concrete. I craned my neck a little to see who was coming. A few moments later I saw her. My mouth popped open.

I couldn’t believe it. She was riding one of those things mechanics use for laying under a car like it was a skate board. She pushed off the ground once as I watched her. Her eyes were trained on the floor so she could watch where she was going. When she was about ten feet from us Rayne hopped off the board and stopped it with her foot expertly. She looked at the car and her eyes lit up with excitement. Then dimmed with slight dismay. She looked over at us. Taking in each of us in turn before turning her attention to Koner.

“Rob this is my foster daughter Rayne. Don’t worry she’s a licensed mechanic, and one of the best I’ve ever seen. Rayne this Rob he’s a good friend.” She offered a small smile of welcome, and my dad mumbled a how do you do.

“You skateboard?” Jacob asked in obvious awe. He was a wanna be skater. She looked at him and shrugged.

“It was a faze I went through when I was fifteen.” she turned back to Koner. “What have we got?” He motioned for her to ask us instead of answering. She blanched but turned to my dad. “Do you know what the problem is?” she asked politely looking at his mouth instead of his eyes.

“Well we’re not entirely sure. It’s been stalling, and since we’re here I figured we’d get the oil changed, the tires rotated, and an alignment as well.” she nodded.

“Okay when does it stall the most?” she asked. My dad looked perplexed for a moment then turned to me. She let out a soft almost undetectable sigh and turned to me as well waiting expectantly. I didn’t know how to answer. I didn’t fully understand the question. She must of seen my confusion. “Does it stall when you’ve been driving a lot, or when your on a hill, or flat ground, or gravel?”

“Umm hills mostly.” she nodded.

“It’s probably the spark plugs then. When do you want me to start?” she asked turning to Koner who had, for some reason, moved behind us.

“Now’s good if you don’t have anywhere to be in a hurry.” he said to my dad.

“No we can wait.” she nodded and turned to press a button that rose the car up a couple feet. When she had it where she wanted it she got all of the supplies she needed to work on it. She arranged them to be in easy reach of what ever she was doing. She put the board in front of the car then caught every one by surprise. Everyone but Koner who was still standing behind us.

She reached down and grabbed the hem of her shirt pulling it over her head. The sound of multiple gasps filled my ears, and had I been paying attention I would have realized that one of them belonged to me.

She stood there in lose fitting jeans and a sports bra. I figured she would have been a little chubby, because of how she wore her clothes. I was wrong. She was nothing but muscle. She had olive toned skin and a sculpted stomach. That flowed smoothly to her hips. She didn’t have a large chest, but it wasn’t small either. Her shoulder’s were smooth and strong, while her upper arms were toned. What caught the most attention was the tattoo. It looked like a tribal design that went from under her jeans all the way up until it was hidden by her bra. It was beautiful.

Koner gripped my shoulder from behind me. I hadn’t realized how much I had tensed.

“Relax boys” he murmured. Suddenly I understood why he had moved behind us and stayed close. We were a bunch of teenage boys with an incredibly attractive teenage girl. I forced myself to relax and he let go.

“Well I’ve got some paperwork to finish. If you need anything come get me.” Koner said and walked away after he got a nod from Rayne.

“When did you get a tattoo?” Will asked stepping closer to her. She looked at him as she grabbed a hand towel from a neatly folded pile on a close by table.

“Which one?” she asked and turned around to make sure she had everything she needed. On her back was another tattoo. It was a black heart with a dagger going straight through from top to bottom. The hilt had barbed wire wrapped around it. From the back silver wings came out and spread across her shoulder blades. A scroll opened up in the middle with one word spelled out in italics. Honor. The whole thing wasn’t very big. The hilt touched the back of her neck and the bottom of the heart barely reached the middle of her back.

“Umm the one on your side.” Will answered. He seemed perfectly at ease as he leaned against the car. She knelt down to lay on her back on board. Just before she pushed herself under the car she answered him.

“I got that one when I was sixteen.”

“Alright boys lets back off and let her get to work.”

Will backed off and we all watched as her hands came out to grab this tool or that. I could always tell when she was loosening or tightening something because her legs tensed. After about a half hour she came out from under the car. I understood then why she took her shirt off. She had black grease on her arms and smeared on her stomach. She stood using the towel to wipe her hands. She wrapped the towel around her right hand as she reached into the car to pop the hood.

She grabbed five quarts of oil and a funnel. After she had put the oil in the car I walked over to stand next to her. She didn’t acknowledge my existence. She bent over and looked the engine over.

“Hey can one of you start the engine?” she asked. From the corner of my eye I saw both Will and Jacob rush to do as she asked. She leaned back as the engine started and studied the contents under the hood as the machine worked it’s magic. Tentatively she reached forward and started jiggling the spark plugs. She lightly tugged on each one when finally one came away with her hand. As soon as it did the car died.

“That’s what I thought.” she looked over the plug and sighed. She walked away coming back with another towel, a bowl of steaming water, a small brush, and some kind of soap.

She set everything carefully on the car so nothing would spill. Unfortunately for her the spark plug was closer to me than her. She looked at me for a second like she was going to ask me to move. I don’t know why I did it, but I crossed my arms over my chest to show that I wouldn’t budge. She would have to get close to me if she wanted to finish the job. I think I just wanted to make her uncomfortable. She sighed and put one foot on the bumper of the car. She climbed up so she was sitting on the side with a leg tucked under her, and the other foot braced on the front. Nothing touched any of the various parts, and she was so close I could feel the heat from her body.

She dipped the brush in the water and put some soap on it. I watched as she started scrubbing the spark plug. As I stood there distracted by her closeness the guys came to watch her as well. My dad hung to the back realizing this was more of a teenage thing.

“So when did you get the one on your back?” Will asked picking up the conversation from earlier. She looked up from her work and looked at all of us in turn. Obviously deciding whether or not to answer. After a couple minutes I thought she wasn’t going to. Then finally…

“I got it when I was twelve.” she said softly. I looked at the others to see their eyes were just as wide as mine felt.

“What does it mean?” I asked quietly. She tensed and her movements became a little jerky.

“Which one?” she asked again.

“The one on your side.” Jacob answered before I could. She shrugged.

“I got it when I came to terms with who I am. It was my way of claiming myself.” I looked back at my dad to see him gazing at her with sympathy that I didn’t quite understand.

“What about the one on your back?” I asked. Instead of just tensing she stiffened completely. Her hands stopped and she drew her shoulders back. She turned to look at me with a stony expression.

“That one’s personal.” she said in a voice just as hard as the look on her face. It was obvious that the discussion was closed. She went back to her cleaning. I wanted to touch her so badly my entire body was humming. It would be so easy to just reach out. We were close enough that no one would even see it.

She finished what she was doing and started to climb down. I saw my opportunity. I started to reach out to help her but a hand cut across my vision. She looked at the hand and then the owner of it before she finally excepted it. I looked over to see my dad helping her down off the car. He gave me a stormy expression that clearly said we would talk later. I crossed my arms to keep myself from reaching for her again and took a couple steps back.

“Alright, it’s done. Though you’ll probably need to clean the rest of the spark plugs soon or you’ll get the same problem. The car is driven too hard there’s too much sludge. It really needs a good cleaning, but it will run just fine for now.” My dad nodded.

“Thank you.”

“Everything done?” Koner asked coming into the work area. Rayne nodded and walked over to a sink to start washing her hands. My dad smiled at him.

“Yes she did a wonderful job. To be honest I expected the work to take a couple hours, but she got it done in less than one.”

“I told she was good.” Koner answered with a smile.

“How much to we owe you?” Dad asked as he pulled out his wallet. Rayne walked back over and picked up her shirt pulling it back over her head.

“Ask her she’s the one that did the work.” Koner replied with a sleigh smile in Rayne’s direction. She paused and turned to him in surprise.

“What?”

“It was your labor you set the price as long as you cover any parts that you used.”

“But I already get a paycheck. You have to be able to run the shop I can’t just set a price. You have to make a profit.” she answered.

“Yes which is why you will have to give five percent of anything over the price of the parts.” She looked at dad with wide eyes and he smiled at her kindly.

“So how much do I owe you?” he asked softly. She looked between the two of them again then cleared her throat.

“Umm well it’s usually twenty five for an oil change. So we’ll say forty five? Is that fair?” she asked looking between the two men again with a concerned look. My dad chuckled.

“You undervalue your work. Here.” he handed her a bill and turned to tell us to be on our way.

“Wait. This is too much I can’t take this.” she said trying to hand the hundred back. My dad shook his head.

“It would have cost me at least two hundred anywhere else for what you did today. You’ve earned the money just take it. And don’t let anyone tell you your worth less than you are.” he said turning and heading for his own car in the parking lot. Leaving Rayne to stair after him in shock and something else I couldn’t place.

“Come on guys I got to take you home.” we all piled into the car. As I was pulling out I saw Rayne try to hand the hundred to Koner. Instead of taking it he folded her hand over it. He said something to her that I had no hope of hearing. He walked away and I watched her lower her head.

 

 

An hour later I pulled into my driveway. I looked down the street out of habit and saw Rayne’s car in the Keely’s driveway. I climbed out of the car and walked into the house. I tried to enter softly so I didn’t attract my dad’s attention.

“Zeke get in here!” I sighed and walked into my dad’s study. He was sitting in an armchair waiting for me. “Have a seat.” he said in a tone that I knew well. I was in trouble. I sat down in the chair across from him like I had so many times in my life.

“I want you to leave that girl alone.” he said setting his coffee cup down on the table next to his chair. I sat up straight in the chair.

“Whys?!” I asked in an unnecessarily loud voice.

“Because you have too much interest in her. I see you watching her house. How you watch every movement she makes. You intentionally invade her personal space for no other reason than you want to. And not to mention the way she obviously tests your self control.” his words got more and more heated as he spoke.

“Okay so I almost lost control once. Once in my entire life. Why am I being condemned for it?” I don’t know why but the thought of leaving her alone just got under my skin.

“You’ve become too invested in her. She’s a sweet girl with some obvious issues and she doesn’t need you making it worse for her.”

“How would I make things worse for her? She wouldn’t even know if I satisfied my curiosity. And she’s a walking contradiction. Nothing about her adds up. She’s not like anyone I’ve ever seen let alone met.” I couldn’t sit still anymore. I stood and walked over to the window. A window that conveniently looked into her front yard. I could see her bedroom window. As I watched the curtain in the bay window moved. She was in there right now.

“Do you really think you could get close to her by stealing unwelcome glimpses into her past?”

“She wouldn’t even notice.”

“That’s not the point. We don’t have this ability so we can just violate people with it. It’s a gift that deserves respect and dignity.”

“Yes I know. It’s the same thing you’ve said my entire life. But I can’t just leave her alone. Your right I’m invested in her. I can’t just walk away.” I turned to look at him to see he had his face in his hands. He sighed.

“Okay I understand, but don’t violate her like that. She would eventually find out and she doesn’t seem like the forgiving type. If you want to get close to her do it the old fashioned way. If you were to read her soul without her permission she would see it as a betrayal, and I have the feeling that she’s had enough of that to last a life time.”

“How am I supposed to do it the old fashioned way? She won’t say two words to me unless I trap her into it.”

“That’s because you make her uncomfortable. Isn’t there anything that you have in common? Or a situation you can work to your advantage?” I thought for a moment then smiled.

“She’s my physics partner. She’s also very good at it, and it’s my worst subject. Maybe I can get her to tutor me if I ask at the right time.”

“I think that would be a good idea. She can tutor you away from school, and you can get closer to her that way. In a more relaxed environment.” I nodded and smiled. It was a good plan, and it could work. I may have to work for it, but I would still get the answers I seek.

I went up to my room to wait for seven thirty. When I would go to her house and trap her into spending time alone with me.

 

I knocked on the door and looked at my watch. Seven thirty on the dot. After a moment Mrs. Keely answered looking pleasantly surprised.

“Oh Zeke. It’s nice to see you. Please come in.” she stepped aside to let me enter.

“Thank you.”

“To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?” as she asked Koner walked into the entry way. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

“Is there something wrong with your car?” he asked with concern and confusion.

“No of course not. It runs like a dream.”

“Then what did you need?” Mrs. Keely asked confused.

“Well Mrs. Keely-” I started but she cut me off.

“Oh Sara please.” I nodded and smiled at her.

“Sara. I was wondering if Rayne was home?” I watched both of their eyes widen. Sara’s in surprised excitement and Koner’s in slight worry.

“Of course I’ll go get her.” Sara turned and almost ran up the stairs. While she was gone Koner stared at me.

“Your intentions toward Rayne wouldn’t be bad would they Zeke?” he asked quietly glancing up the stairs to make sure we were still alone.

“No of course not!” I answered truly shocked. I might want to get to know her out of curiosity but I meant her no harm. He studied me for a moment then nodded.

“Good. She’s a good girl. I don’t want to see anything more happen to her.” I almost asked what had happened to her, but I heard foot steps coming down the stairs.

Sara came into view first with a smirk. Rayne was right behind her with a mix of confusion and worry. She had a towel in one hand and her hair was down and damp. She must have just gotten out of the shower. Her hair was waist length and had a slight wave to it. She was wearing a spaghetti strapped shirt and pajama pants. The pants showed more of her hips than the jeans she usually wears. When she looked up and saw me standing there she slowed her decent and stayed on the bottom step.

“What’s going on?” she asked not me but Koner and Sara. Koner shrugged never moving from his spot.

“I don’t know he came over asking for you.” Sara answered. Rayne sighed and finally turned to me.

“Did something go wrong with the car?” she asked in a tone that clearly said she knew that the car was fine.

“No actually I came over to ask you about physics.” I answered enjoying the play of expressions across her face. Though I didn’t understand any of them.

“What about it?”

“Well my grade in that class is less than passing. And I know you’re really good at it so I was wondering if you could help me out?”

From the corner of my eye I saw Koner relax and Sara’s shoulders slump in disappointment. Rayne’s eyes narrowed suspiciously and I could see her going through different ways to turn me down. I watched as she realized her defeat. She couldn’t come up with a way to politely turn me down. She had no reason not to help me.

“Okay when do you want to start?” she asked. I shrugged I hadn’t really thought that through.

“I guess we could start Saturday.” I offered.

“That sounds good.” Sara said with renewed hope. Rayne’s eyes widened in alarm.

“No! Saturday’s no good.” she said in a hurry. Sara turned to her in confusion.

“Why not? You don’t have school or work you’d have all day to study.” Rayne shook her head.

“A friend from my last town is having a party. I promised I would be there.” she said choosing her words carefully.

“Oh sweetie I’m sure she would understand.” Again Rayne shook her head, but with more determination.

“No she really wouldn’t.” she said starting to look desperate. Sara saw it and appeared at a loss for words. She looked to Koner.

“It’s okay you can just set it up for another day. How’s Sunday?” he said looking between the two of us. Rayne’s posture relaxed and she nodded. I shrugged.

“Sunday’s good for me.”

“Okay come over at about noon and we can get started. Make sure you bring your calculator.” she said and turned away and started up the stairs. Sara soon followed her and I said good night.

When I got home I sat on my bed to think. I was happy that it worked, but disappointed that she managed to change the original plans. She wasn’t supposed to have any wiggle room. But then again I was still getting what I wanted so I let it drop. I would get close to her whether she wanted me to or not.

 

I spent the next morning goofing off. I played video games, and listened to music. At noon I took a plate to the kitchen. Since it was my day to do the dishes I decided to gather all of them from throughout the house. I knocked on the doorway to my dad’s study, and he looked up from the paper’s on his desk.

“Hey, do you have any dishes in here?” I asked. He shook his head, but I wasn’t paying any attention. Something out the window caught my eye. Rayne was getting into her car. She must be leaving for that party. She never left the house unless she was going to school. I made a split second decision. “Dad I have to go.” I didn’t give him a chance to respond. Instead I turned on my heal and ran down the hallway grabbing my keys as I ran out the door.

I started the engine just as she turned the corner. I followed her at a distance as she turned onto the highway on her way out of town. I kept distance between us so she wouldn’t notice she was being followed. After about forty five minutes she turned into a small town.

I followed her for about six blocks when I saw her pull over and park. I parked my car about a block down from hers where it would be blocked by some trees. I ran down the road and hid behind another tree before she could get out of her car. She climbed out and walked to her trunk. After a minute she pulled out a large box wrapped in pink paper. She walked around the car and I finally looked at the house.

It was small but had a large yard. The yard was decorated in pink balloons and streamers. There were at least a dozen small children running around playing tag and squealing. The adults were all clustered around some fold out picnic tables talking and watching the kids play.

As Rayne reached the yard a small blonde girl broke from the group of children and ran to her as fast as she could. Rayne dropped the box and caught the girl as she launched herself at her. They were both laughing as Rayne spun the girl in circles hugging her tightly.

“Rayne you came!” she squealed.

“Of course I did! I promised didn’t I?” Rayne answered letting the girl slide to the ground. She picked up the box propping it on her hip as she grabbed the girl’s hand. They walked back to the party, and Rayne put the present on another table with other gifts.

The girl ran to play with the other kids, and Rayne walked up to an elderly woman. They hugged and smiled at each other. Then they got serious and split from the group. I had to hurry to make sure I was completely hidden as they were headed right for me. They walked hand in hand and I wondered if it was from endearment or if Rayne was supporting the elderly woman.

“Gale how are things? You don’t look well.” Rayne asked her with concern in her voice.

“Oh things are going. My MS has taken a turn for the worse and Fred had a heart attack a week ago.”

“Oh no I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault hon we’re just old. I wanted to tell you that we didn’t send you away because we didn’t care about you. We’re just too set in our ways, and anything new is uncomfortable for us.” she said in a hurry. From her tone it seemed that it was something she’d been wanting to say for a while.

“It’s okay I don’t hold any ill will toward you or Fred. You guys were one of the best homes I’d been in. I was happy for the time I had. But what about Kristi? How are things with her?”

“Not good I’m afraid. We don’t have enough money even with the check from the state. With the hospital bills there’s just not enough. She’s such a sweet girl and a true joy to have, but like I said. We’re getting old we can’t run around with her like she needs. I’m afraid we won’t be able to keep her for much longer.” There were several moments of silence.

“Can you wait awhile before you let her go? I just need a month. I can find a true home for her.” Gale sighed.

“We all think we can work miracles when we’re young.”

“No I’m serious. I’ve been saving for the past year. I have enough I just need to find the right home.”

“I don’t know.”

“Please just one month that’s all I need. I can send you money if you want me to.” There was a note of desperation in her voice that made my chest clench. Gale sighed.

“Okay one month, but that’s all I can do.”

“Thank you.”

“Rayne! Come play!” Kristi yelled.

“Okay I’m coming.” Rayne called back. I watched as Rayne and Gale made their way back to the party.

I decided it was best to leave now. It was obvious now that the party she had promised her friend that she would attend was Kristi’s birthday party. There was nothing here for me to see other than that the girl was very much loved by Rayne, and loved her equally.

Chapter 5

Rayne

 

 

I felt eyes on me but when I turned around there was nobody there. I turned back to Kristi as she told me all about her day at school the day before. I was so glad I could talk Gale into keeping her for a while longer. I had been saving every penny I earned for over a year in order to pay for Kristi’s adoption. I hadn’t found the right family yet, but I had assumed I had more time.

Now I had four weeks to find a really good home for the little girl before she was shipped away. If she was transferred I might never find her again. I loved her like a sister. She was the bright spot in my otherwise dark world. When I was transferred to Gale and Fred’s home I was miserable. But the first night I was there this adorable little two year old blonde girl crawled into my bed because she had a nightmare. I took care of her as if she were my own blood.

When Gale and Fred insist that I leave I made them promise I could come and visit her. They understood my need and assured me that I could come over anytime I wanted. Gale might have sounded callous when she spoke of giving up Kristi. But the tears in her eyes spoke otherwise. She was the equivalent of a grand daughter to them. She touched everyone she met and she deserved a real home with a real family. I would not see her with my fate.

It was just getting dark when I said my goodbyes. I left Kristi holding Gale’s hand with tears running down her face and a promise that I would visit her again soon. I drove away with tears in my eyes and my hands shaking.

 

Forty five minutes later I pulled into the Keely’s driveway. I got up and made my way up to the door. Before I could answer it an idea struck me. I took a few steps along the porch and pulled my cell phone out. I found Jack in my contacts and pressed call. It rang once then twice and his mellow voice answered.

“Rayne how’s it going?” he asked in a chipper voice. He’s been the only constant thing in my life. He’s been like an uncle that was always willing to talk whenever I needed it, and when I didn’t. He’s the one that got my cell phone for me. It’s the only thing I ever let anyone else buy me and actually keep it.

“Hey Jack.” I answered trying to keep my voice down so I wouldn’t alert Koner and Sara of my presence on the porch.

“What’s wrong?” He always knew when there was something wrong with me. Sometimes I wondered if he had an ability of his own, but no he just knew me really well.

“Has Gale talked to you yet?” I asked. I heard him sigh and I could see him in my mind dropping his face into his free hand and rubbing it over his hair.

“Yes. I was hoping you wouldn’t find out so soon. She talked to me yesterday at our monthly meeting.” Jack was Kristi’s case worker as well as mine. It made things convenient for what I was about to ask him.

“What do you plan to do?”

“I don’t know what I can do. Gale can’t afford to keep her, and with her and Fred’s health they can’t keep up with her.” For some reason I got really angry.

“Will you listen to yourself!? Everyone keeps talking about her like she’s a dog instead of a little girl. God how can so many people treat children like ill mannered pets?”

“Now I didn’t mean it like that and you know it. I love that little girl just like you do, but my hands are tied.” he kept his voice calm so I wouldn’t have anything else to yell at him for anymore. I sighed.

“Are you sure there’s nothing?” I asked.

“Why are you taking this so personally?”

“Why aren’t you? She’s just a little girl. She just turned three today. She doesn’t deserve to be tossed from home to home until she ages out of the system.” the other end of the line was quiet for a moment.

“I know Rayne. I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do. I wish it wasn’t true but it is.” I took a deep breath.

“There may be nothing you can do, but maybe I can.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been saving. I have enough money to pay for her adoption.”

“Rayne your not old enough to care for a child.” I barked a laugh.

“I know that. I’m not talking about adopting her myself.”

“Then what are you suggesting?”

“I need to find a good family for her. I have the money and I talked Gale into waiting a month.”

“How do you plan on finding a family for her?”

“Actually that’s why I need you. I know you have access to potential adoption families. I need you to bring me some of them.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. Those files are classified for the families privacy.”

“I know that’s why I’m going to have to leave the details to you. But I can pay for it. You can just tell them that a private backer is paying for it.” he sighed again. I’m pretty sure I’ve given him more than one ulcer in the last eleven years.

“And how would I get those files to you?” I jumped up and down a few times in joy. I had convinced him.

“You can copy them and bring them to me when we have dinner. It has to be soon though. I’m short on time.”

“Okay I’ll have something for you when we have dinner next week.”

“Thank you, you have no idea what this means to me.”

“I know.”

“It’s late I need to get inside.”

“Alright I’ll see you on Friday.” I hung up and stood there breathing deeply for a moment to slow my heart rate. I felt eyes on me again and turned.

Down the street I saw a curtain fall closed just as I looked. It was Zeke’s house. Then I remembered the tutoring. I groaned. What was he up to?

I went inside and was greeted by Sara and Koner. I said hello and turned to go to my room. They didn’t bother me and I took a quick shower. I spent the rest of the night reading until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.

 

The next morning I woke up late. I had a half hour before Zeke would be at the door. I dressed quickly and gathered my physics stuff from the desk. I was almost through the book, and felt a little sad.

I had just got downstairs when there was a knock on the door. I went ahead and answered it. He was standing there tall and string with those wonderful sunglasses on. I let him in and led him into the dining room. He seemed a little disappointed but sat down gracefully opening his book to the right chapter.

The first hour was almost pleasant. I explained the lesson and he asked the questions he needed to. Unfortunately he didn’t want it to remain pleasant. He started weaseling personal questions into the explanation.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“That has nothing to do with physics.”

Ten minutes later.

“Have you ever had a favorite pet?” I ignored him.

“What’s your middle name?” finally I had, had enough.

“That’s it the tutoring is done for today.” I snapped my book shut and left the room. I reached the top of the stairs when I heard the front door open and close.

I took a deep breathe and set in to actually enjoy the rest of my day.

About an hour after dinner I was going to the kitchen to get a drink. I heard murmuring from Koner’s office and slowed in order to listen. I wasn’t proud of it but I had a feeling I should hear what they were saying.

“I don’t know Koner. She doesn’t respond to anything we do. I don’t understand.”

“Sweet heart you have to be patient. She’s been passed from house to house for most of her life. Of course she’s going to be distant.”

“But I’ve tried everything. I even asked Mr. Harvest what her favorite food is. She didn’t even notice that I made it for dinner tonight.”

“She probably just thought it was a coincidence. Did you see how quickly she ate it?”

“Yeah so she could get away from us quicker. I don’t get it. I mean I took her shopping and bought her clothes that she obviously like and she hasn’t worn any of it. It’s like she’s just not interested. I’m trying but I don’t think she wants to be here.”

“She’s tired. She works hard all the time. I know you’ve read her file. She’s been in bad homes before. She’s the best worker I’ve got at the shop, and not just because of the paycheck. She’s gotten straight A’s since the second grade. She never stops, and I think she stays distant, because she thinks we don’t want her. She assumes that we’re going to send her away, because that’s all that has ever happened. Mr. Harvest warned us about this remember?”

“Yes I guess I thought I could draw her out. Make her feel wanted.” I heard a shifting in movement and quickly and quietly made my way to the kitchen. I felt extremely guilty. I didn’t mean to make them feel like I didn’t want to be there. It was the best home I’ve been in before. They were both incredibly caring, and at the same time didn’t push or hover. They knew when to give me space.

I heard someone enter the kitchen just as I was putting my glass in the sink.

“Oh Rayne I didn’t know you were in here.” Sara said in surprise. There was no evidence of her previous conversation on her face. I racked my mind to find a way to make her feel better about me. I almost groaned when I came up with a solution.

“Hey Sara. Actually I was wondering if I could ask you something.”

“Sure”

“I’m terrible with the fashion thing. That’s why I haven’t been wearing the clothes you got me.” I winced slightly at the lie. I had to remind myself that it was only to make her feel better. “I was thinking that if you didn’t mind you could pick the outfits for me?” I asked in a rush. It was worth it. Her face lit up like a high powered flashlight.

“Of course I’ll go do it right now. Oh this is going to be so fun you’re going to look amazing.” I smiled as she rushed out of the room. As soon as she was out of sight I sighed and my shoulders slumped a little. I heard the door squeak slightly and straightened quickly afraid she had come back. Instead it was Koner.

“Thank you” he said softly and left without waiting for a response. I waited until I heard Sara come back down the stairs before I quietly went to my room. She had laid out the black shirt that fell of the right shoulder, and a pair of the black jeans. The strapless bra was laying next to the shirt, and the spiked heeled boots were on the floor in front the ensemble. I sighed and moved them to the back of the desk chair. Tomorrow would be akin to torture, but I was hoping it would be worth it. I took a quick shower and crawled into bed with my book.

 

The next morning I got up a little earlier. I braided my hair like usual then set about putting on the clothes that Sara had picked out. When I was done dressing I got out the eyeliner and eye shadow she had picked out for me. I stumbled through using them, but I had to admit the end result was astonishing.

The make up helped to pull attention away from the shadows under my eyes. The shirt left my right shoulder bare, but the way it sloped it made it look smooth and strong. It was still really tight at my stomach, but I lifted my arms and it didn’t ride up. The jeans were low rise but accentuated my hips, and the heels made my legs look more shapely. I hardly recognized the girl in the mirror.

I grabbed my bag and made my way downstairs. Since I wasn’t running late I took my time. More for the fear of losing my life in the heels than being late. I suffered through fifteen minutes of Sara gushing about how good I looked and ignoring Koner’s smirks before I decided it was time to leave.

When I entered the front door of the school there was an instant change in the atmosphere. There were people staring at me and whispering to their friends. I barely made it to my first class without having a melt down.

I walked into second hour and had a sick satisfaction when Zeke looked up at me. His mouth dropped open and his eyebrows steadily climbed towards his hair line. I sat in my seat next to his, and he removed his glasses to get a better look at me. He stared even harder at me than usual.

By lunch my feet were killing me and I relished the feeling of propping them up on a chair. The stares and whispers never stopped and my patience was wearing thin. I was trying to drown myself in my book when the tempo of the cafeteria changed. I looked up to see there was another new kid. I was about to let out a relieved sigh when I realized I knew the person.

He turned and scanned the room. I tried to shrink in my seat but he spotted me anyway. His smile was large, I used to think it was handsome, now I saw it as slimy. He walked across the cafeteria ignoring all of the drooling girls on the way. When he reached my table he grabbed the chair closest to the wall and sat down leaning back and getting comfortable.

“Wow Ray you look good. Really good. I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“I wish you hadn’t, and don’t call me Ray.”

“Awe come on you’re not still sore about all that are you?” he asked waving his hand. I looked at him and from my peripheral saw Zeke and his friends watching us. Jacob was curious but the other three were tense. It seemed my intense dislike for my old friend was noticeable.

“As I recall you were the one that was sore. What are you doing here Chase?”

“You didn’t hear? Oh I guess you didn’t you’ve never been one to listen to gossip have you? I go to this school now. Moved here yesterday. Aren’t coincidences wonderful?” he said with his token smile. I wanted to smack him. He knew I didn’t believe in coincidences. He was one of the most attractive guys I’ve seen. He was tall with broad shoulders, and dark hair. He had piercing gray eyes and an easy smile. I wanted nothing more than to totally ruin his good looks.

Instead of smacking him and earning detention and even more gossip though I gathered my things. I stood to walk away but he followed me a few feet.

“What no smile or hug for your favorite ex?” he asked in a tone that was just as slimy as his smile. I turned and glared at him. We were closest to Zeke’s table and I knew they were all watching and listening intently.

“Chase”

“Yes?”

“Burn in hell.” I put as much venom in my voice as I could and I watched his smile fall slightly. Not many people would have noticed it, but it was enough for me. I turned and continued my way out of the cafeteria with confidence.

 

The next several days were hell. Chase was always there. He never left me alone. My only break was that he didn’t know where I worked or lived. However, he seemed to learn my class schedule and to be there in the halls when ever the classes let out. He made a point to park next to me, and he sat at the closest available table in the cafeteria. After the second day I noticed him and Sam spending a lot of time together. It made me extremely nervous. Oddly enough the only comfort I had was that every time Chase was there so was one of Zeke’s friends. Will and Frank had even taken to walking with me between classes.

I tutored Zeke every evening after dinner, and he had laid off asking me questions. Finally one night after we had finished with physics I walked him to the door. I was getting more and more comfortable around him. A mistake I knew I was making, but I figured that if I was trapped into spending time with him I might as well be comfortable doing it. We were standing on the porch and he had turned to take the stairs when he turned back suddenly.

“Can I ask you something?” He had never asked me if he could ask me something before so I nodded.

“What’s up with you and that Chase guy?” I sighed and dropped my eyes. It took me a moment to decide, but I went ahead and answered him.

“Chase went to my old school. We dated for a while but I broke up with him a few weeks before I moved. He didn’t take it very gracefully.”

“Why not?”

“Chase doesn’t get dumped. He does the dumping. He took it a little personally when I beat him to it.” Zeke nodded slightly then said good night.

 

The next day at school was just as bad, but I couldn’t manage to focus on what was going on. I had never been so relieved to have school be over. I went to work but Koner sent me home early because I couldn’t concentrate. Finally it was five o’clock and I walked into the diner where Jack was supposed to meet me. I scanned the room and spotted him in a back corner. He had already ordered our drinks.

I joined him at the table and he greeted me in our usual way. He grabbed my forearm and I gripped his. We sat that way for a few seconds smiling at each other. The waitress arrived and we placed our order. We talked about how everything was going with my transfer for a few minutes. It was mostly just protocol and something we always had to do so we got it out of the way as soon as we could so we could get to some actual conversation.

After we finished eating the waitress took our plates and left us the check. He was quick to grab it before I could. Something else we always did. Whoever grabbed the check first paid. Finally I brought up the subject I really wanted to talk about.\

“So did you get what I needed?” I asked. He looked around the room to make sure no one was watching us. He pulled his briefcase from under the table and slipped a large manila envelop out of it sliding it across the table to me.

I opened it to see three packets of paper in it. I pulled all three out and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I weeded out the ones that I knew you would throw out. These are the ones you would want to consider.” I nodded and started reading. The first one looked good on the outside, but as I kept reading there were little things that stood out to me. The mother worked full time and the father stayed at home from a disability. They already had two kids of their own. They never specified why they wanted to adopt a third. I knew they only wanted to adopt because the child would receive a social security check. I pushed it back to him.

“No” I read the second one but it was of a single woman. I didn’t have a problem with single parents, but I wanted Kristi to have a loving mother and father. I pushed it away. “No” I thought about it a little more before I read the last one. I wanted her to have a mother and father that would love her and treat her like the wonderful child that she was. Suddenly I looking at Sara and Koner across the table as they talked about their day. Koner’s soft voice that I had first imagined reading to a child as they both tucked them in.

I saw again Sara’s tears as she looked at an empty crib. I blinked back to the present and pushed the last packet back to Jack.

“Actually I think I just got a better idea.” he smiled at me and pulled an actual file from his briefcase and handed it to me. I took the file and looked at the name. Keely. This was Sara and Koner’s file from when they had attempted to adopt before.

“I thought you might come to this conclusion so I took the liberty of swiping the file.” I read through it. The only problem was the money. Their background checks came back clean, and at their evaluation they were deemed loving, kind, and a good stable home. I thought about how Koner was always home before dinner, and how he never failed to take time to spend with Sara. Sometimes he had a few papers he had to fill out from work at home, but nothing that ever took longer than an hour.

He was strong but kind and had a loving side that I had never seen before. Sara was energetic and always working to make everyone else happy. She made sure every one had everything they needed, and she carried a routine that was perfect for a young family.

“How soon can you get everything set up?” I asked him.

“I can have it taken care of by next Friday. Their lawyer already had most of it done all that’s left is paperwork and their signature. Plus the check of course.”

I picked up my phone and called Gale.

“Hello?”

“Hi Gale, it’s Rayne.”

“Oh hi how are you darling?”

“I’m okay. I was wondering if I might be able to take Kristi for a day next week?”

“Oh I don’t know. What do you want her for?”

“I think I’ve found a good home for her. I know the couple and they’re perfect for her.”

“When would you want to take her?”

“Friday afternoon”

“Okay, but honey I have a favor to ask.”

“Of course”

“If this does go through and she finds a good home can you bring her visit us every once in a while.”

“All the time.” I heard her relieved sigh and smiled.

“Thank you dear.” I hung up and smiled up at Jack. Now I just had to figure out how to introduce Kristi to the Keely’s and get them to agree with just a couple meetings. We didn’t have time to do this the traditional way.

 

 

 

The next week went by quickly as I made the arrangements with Jack. I didn’t know how to approach Sara and Koner about Kristi so I decided to introduce them before I made the proposal.

The night before I was supposed to go get her I let my curiosity get the better of me. I had just gotten out of the shower and decided to get something to drink before I went to bed. I stepped into the hallway and I noticed the door to the third bedroom. I looked down the stairs and didn’t see anyone close by so I tip toed over to the room. I eased the door open as quietly as I could and looked in. The moon was full and shining through the window. The room was still decorated as a nursery. Complete with a crib. It was free of dust so I assumed Sara cleaned it regularly. I stepped up to the crib to get a closer look at the carousel. It was stars and moons. It looked old like an antique and was painted in swirling silver and had traces of glitter on it. I thought it was beautiful. I was filled with sadness and hope.

The was a sound at the door and I whirled around. Koner was standing there staring at me.

“I’m sorry. I was just curious. I didn’t mean to intrude.” he held up a hand to silence my stammering and walked to my side gently touching the carousel.

“This was Sara’s grandmother’s. It hung over her crib and then her mother’s and then hers. She had hoped to pass it on to our own child. She’s kept this room clean and refused to change it. I guess she’s still hoping for a miracle. Don’t tell her you were in here.” he turned and left the room. I quickly followed and decided to forgo the drink. I didn’t think I could stand to face Sara after invading on her privacy again. This time of my own choice.

 

The next morning I left for school early eager to get the day over with. I canceled tutoring with Zeke, and left to pick up Kristi right after school let out. I had already told Koner I wouldn’t be in to work the night before so he knew not to expect me.

When I pulled in front of Gale’s house Kristi was waiting for me. They were both sitting on the front porch on the swing. She ran to meet me and I met Gale’s eyes over her shoulder.

I pulled up to the diner that Jack had agreed to meet us at. We had a pleasant dinner, and went to the park for a couple hours to wait for Sara and Koner to finish eating their own meal. I had called Sara and told her that I was at a meeting with Jack so she wouldn’t worry. At seven we all headed to the house.

I stepped into the entryway with Kristi clinging to my hand and hiding behind me. Jack followed me in and I called to Sara and Koner. They walked in to meet us and I started shaking from nerves. They looked at me in confusion when they saw Jack. Their confusion quickly turned to worry and I knew I had to act fast. I didn’t know what to say or do next and I was overcome with worry. Worry that they wouldn’t agree and I would lose Kristi forever. Jack placed a hand on my shoulder and I took a deep breathe.

“Hey can we sit down and talk?” without a word they both turned and headed for the dining room. They still hadn’t noticed Kristi hiding behind me. We followed them into the room and both of them sat down. Jack sat across from them and I led Kristi to the other chair that faced them. When I sat down I pulled Kristi into my lap.

“Oh” Sara gasped as she got her first look at her. Kristi buried her face in my neck but kept peeking looks at the startled couple. I looked down to see Sara gripping Koner’s hand so hard it had to hurt. I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad sign. I swallowed hard and began my explanation.

“This is Kristi. She just turned three years old.” I looked to Jack. I didn’t want Kristi to hear everything I had to say. She wasn’t quite old enough to cope with the story of her birth and abandonment. He looked over at Sara and Koner.

“Would it be okay if I got Kristi some ice cream?” he asked softly giving them both a meaningful look. Koner looked to Sara and she nodded. She hadn’t taken her eyes off of Kristi for a moment since she had noticed her. Jack took Kristi from me and headed for the kitchen.

“Rayne what is this?” Koner asked with a dangerous tone.

“Please just let me explain.” I begged he nodded and I continued.

“She just turned three a couple of weeks ago.”

“That was the party you went to.” Sara said in realization. I nodded and continued.

“She was found on a church steps when she was no older than two days old. It was an early winter and she almost froze to death. But she flourished. She’s still a little small for her age, but she’s never been sick since then. No one knows who her birth parents were so the church gave her a name. She was put into the system immediately and she’s now in her third home. She’s incredibly intelligent and just as hyper. She remembers everything she sees and no one ever has to tell her anything twice. The couple she lives with now are elderly and are deeply in debt. They can’t take care of her anymore. If they give her up she could end up anywhere, and not all homes are safe. She needs parents. She needs a good, loving home, where she can feel safe, and loved.” They were silent and stared at me for a few minutes. I was starting to say something, anything to break the tension when I got a response.

“You really care for this little girl don’t you?” Koner asked in a quiet voice. I nodded.

“She’s been like a baby sister to me for over a year now.”

“You say she needs a good home and parents. You thought of us?” Sara asked this time. Again I nodded.

“Yes. I’ve been in eighteen homes in the last eleven years, and this is the best home I’ve ever been in. You’re both loving and devoted, and honestly I think you would be the best parents anyone could ask for.” Sara’s eyes started to tear up and I was afraid I had said too much. Kristi ran into the room and jumped up on my lap again. Sara and Koner stared at her and she squirmed uncomfortably.

“We can’t afford an adoption. We’ve tried but it’s too expensive.” Sara said with so much misery I almost started crying myself. I looked to Jack and he nodded. He put his briefcase on the table and pulled out their adoption agreement. He slid it across the table to them. Koner took it and started reading. Suddenly he looked up in shock.

“This says it’s already been paid for.”

“What? By who?” Sara asked with astonishment. Koner looked at Jack then zeroed in on me. I met his gaze unflinching and unafraid.

“How?” he asked. I looked down at the table.

“I’ve been saving for a long time.” I said quietly.

“You’re willing to pay for this?” Sara asked.

“Yes. I would pay for this and more. If you decide not to I can get it cancelled and get the money back. I have to find a home for her soon. I have two weeks before she gets put back in the system and then I might never find her again.” Koner and Sara left the room for a few minutes to discuss things.

I sat and talked to Kristi and Jack while they were gone. When she asked who the nice looking man and lady were I wasn’t quite sure how to answer her. Luckily they came back before I had to. Koner crouched in front of the door and Sara dropped to her knees.

“Kristi would you come here and talk to us for a minute?” he asked in his soft voice. She looked up at me and when I nodded she hopped down and walked up to him. The way they were sitting they were eye level with them. I held my breath.

“Kristi do you like this house?” Koner asked. She looked between the two of them and nodded.

“Yes, everything is really pretty and clean.”

“Do you like us?” Sara asked.

“Yes you both seem very nice and Rayne really likes you and she doesn’t like anyone. And I think you’re very pretty.” she said to Sara suddenly shy. Sara chuckled.

“Well thank you. I think you’re very pretty too.” Kristi mumbled a thank you.

“Kristi would you like to live with us?” Koner asked hesitantly. I sucked in a breath and waited.

“But what about grandma Gale and grandpa Fred?” she asked. They all turned to look at me and I kept my eyes on Koner and Sara as I answered her.

“Gale and Fred are very sick and can’t move around like they used to. But you could see them whenever you want.” Koner and Sara both nodded.

“I don‘t know.”

“I’ll be here everyday. I live here now too. And Sara and Koner really like you.” I answered again. She looked up at me with wide eyed innocence.

“You live here?” I nodded with a small smile. She looked back at Sara and Koner.

“So does this mean you want to be my mommy and daddy?” she asked hopefully. Sara let out a small sob.

“Yes we would very much.” Kristi looked down at her feet and then back up at them.

“Okay then I want to live here too.” I dropped my face into my right hand and squeezed the bridge of my nose willing my tears away. I hadn’t remembered ever being this happy.

“When can she stay?” Koner asked rising to his feet.

“All I need is your signature and she can start staying here tonight. Everything else has been arranged.” Jack answered.

“But what about her things?” Sara asked. I cleared my throat and felt a slight blush starting on my neck.

“She has two suitcases in the trunk of my car. I didn’t mean to be presumptuous but I wanted everything done as soon as possible. I was really hopeful.” I finished weakly. To my relief they both smiled at me.

“We don’t have a room ready for her though.” Sara said with worry.

“She can sleep with me. We shared a room before she’s used to it.”

“I’m right here!” Kristi said with a huff and stomped her foot startling all of us. We all laughed.

“Of course you are sweet heart I’m sorry.” Koner answered gently. She nodded.

“She’s a little hot headed.” I explained and earned a glare from Kristi. “I can go get her things from my car. I need to make a phone call too.” they all nodded and Jack followed me out to give them some private time to get to know each other a little better.

While I was outside I called Gale and told her the good news. I grabbed one of Kristi’s suitcases and Jack grabbed the other one. We carried them up to my room and when I came down I found all three of them in the living room.

They were sitting on the couch close together. Sara sat on one side of her and Koner sat on the other. Kristi was giggling at Koner as he read her a book. Sara was smoothing her hair as Koner looked over and smiled down at her. I hadn’t known the couple for very long, but I knew they were the best thing for the little girl. I dreaded the day they would send me away. I only hoped they had enough affection for Kristi to let me visit her.

Jack announced that he needed to be going and Kristi and I walked him out. When we came back in I suggested it was time for Kristi to go to bed. Sara said their good nights and I offered my hand to Kristi. She took it and I led her up to our room. I dug through her suitcases and grabbed her a nightgown. When I had her changed I brushed out her hair like I used to do every night. I sent her to go to the bathroom and brush her teeth as I made up the bed. When she came in I tucked her in and went to take a shower.

Chapter 6

The next morning I woke up with a small, warm body pressed up against me. I opened my eyes to see a blonde head just under my nose. I took a deep breathe taking in her soft scented shampoo. I smiled and she stirred. She sat up and looked at me rubbing her eyes.

“Morning” she mumbled. I slid out of bed and got out one of her favorite outfits. After she was dressed I changed my own clothes. When I turned around she was gone. I brushed my hair really quick and braided it. I was done in only a few minutes. I ran down the stairs after her. When I finally had her in my sights she was opening the front door.

“Kristi what are you doing?” I called as I jumped the last couple steps. She stood there looking up at Zeke. He looked down at her then back up at me with a raised eyebrow. “Kristi you don’t open the door. If someone knocks you come get someone.” I scolded her. She stuck her tongue out at me and ran into the kitchen where she received a loud happy welcome from Sara.

“When did you get a short person?” Zeke asked in a quiet amused tone. I smiled at him. Even his sarcasm couldn’t dampen my mood today.

“Last night. What are you doing here?” He held up his text book and shrugged.

“Oh yeah. Sorry I forgot. Why don’t you go ahead into the dining room, and I’ll run up and get my things. I turned and took the stairs as quickly as I could.

When I came back down I went into the dining room. Kristi was sitting across from Zeke eating her breakfast. Well she had a plate of food in front of her. She was actually just sitting there staring at Zeke. It seemed more like she was trying to stare him down. He had his sunglasses laying on the table and he was leaned toward her staring back intently. I paused to watch what would happen.

“What’s your name?” she asked still staring.

“Zeke”

“Why do you wear sunglasses?”

“The light hurts my eyes.”

“If you stop wearing them you might get used to the light.”

“Light has always hurt my eyes. That’s why I started wearing them.”

“Why are you here?”

“Rayne helps me with my homework.”

“It’s Saturday.” I almost laughed.

“Yes but I have a lot of homework.”

“Do you like Rayne?”

“I think she’s very nice.”

“Are you nice?”

“I like to think I am.”

“Rayne’s last boyfriend wasn’t very nice.” I decided it was time to announce my presence. I stepped further into the room and they both turned to me. I kept my eyes on Kristi and Zeke put his glasses back on.

“Kristi eat your breakfast.” I sat down next to Zeke and he opened his book. We got about a half hour of quiet study before Kristi started making a lot of noise. Sara pulled her out of the room to brush her hair, but right after she was done she came back in with some of her toys. She sat behind us playing loudly and we had to raise our voices to hear each other. I turned to Kristi in exasperation.

“Kristi why don’t you go play in the living room?” I asked gently.

“No I want to play in here.” I sighed and tried to go on with studying. After a few more minutes I tried again.

“Kristi you’re being really loud can you quiet down so we can finish studying?”

“No I have to play this loud or it wouldn’t be fun.” After about five more minutes I gave up. I gathered my things and stood.

“Come on” He grabbed his stuff and followed me out of the room. I led him up the stairs and into my room. He hesitated at the door. I spread my stuff back out on the bed and looked at him expectantly. He stepped in slowly and walked over to the desk instead of the bed. I noticed he avoided physical contact like I avoided eye contact. I scooted over so I was close enough to him and we got back to work.

About an hour later Sara came in to let me know she was taking Kristi shopping. I guess I was a little overly happy because she smiled down at me fondly. I blinked a couple times after she left and started to feel worried. It wouldn’t be long before they wouldn’t want me anymore. I could feel my power getting stronger everyday. Now it wasn’t just chance when I accidentally made contact, it was every time. I was getting so many peoples life stories that I got frequent headaches. It seemed like as soon as I get a release the pressure began building again. I couldn’t have Sara or Koner grow too fond of me. I liked them a lot and it would be hard enough when they asked me to leave. I couldn’t afford too much of an emotional attachment.

I looked up to find Zeke studying me closely. I went back to the school work quickly.

 

 

A couple hours later Sara returned and Zeke was fixing to leave.

“Oh Sara. My dad wanted to invite all of you to dinner tonight.” she smiled at him.

“That sounds great I’ll let Koner know.” She carried all of her bags up stairs and Kristi barreled into me for a hug. Zeke left as Sara came back downstairs. I offered to help, but she told me not to worry about it and asked me to get Kristi a snack instead. I took her into the kitchen and made her a sandwich. I entertained her for a while, and a couple hours later Sara found us.

We were sitting on the living room floor playing patty cake. She stood there for a few minutes watching us before she asked us to follow her upstairs. She led us to the spare room and stepped aside to allow us to enter first.

The room looked completely different. In the daylight I could see the color of the walls better. They were a dark purple and I noticed for the first time the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. The crib was replaced by an adorable dark pink child’s bed with princess covers. All of the baby stuff had been removed and replaced by things fitting Kristi’s age. The closet door was open and I could see several knew outfits mixed in with her old one’s. Her suitcases were no where to be seen. Kristi squealed with delight and hopped up on the bed. I turned to Sara.

“This looks great. How did you get it done so soon?” she turned from smiling at Kristi.

“Well it was easy. I didn’t have anything else to distract me, and I wanted it to be done by tonight so she can sleep in her own room. That way you could get your private space back and you wouldn’t have to worry about her anymore.” I heard the unspoken message between her words. I would never have to worry about whether or not Kristi was taken care of. That she had everything she needed or wanted here.

We left Kristi to go through all of her new toys and Sara followed me into my room.

“I think you should wear something nice tonight.” she said tentatively.

“Why? It’s just dinner.”

“Well I think it would be a nice gesture. Plus it might impress Zeke a little.”

“Why would I want to impress Zeke?”

“Oh like you don’t find him attractive.” She accused but smiled to soften it. “I’ve seen you look him over when he wasn’t looking.”

“That doesn’t mean he wants to be impressed by me. And just because I don’t find him hideous doesn’t mean I’m interested.”

“I see him look at you as well. The attraction isn’t one sided. I really think you should wear that purple shirt. You haven’t worn it yet. I think it would look great with a pair of your black jeans and your boots.” I sighed I was defeated before I had even begun to fight. Sometimes she reminded me of some of my rare friend’s older sisters.

“Okay”

“And I think you should wear your hair differently.”

“I don’t know how to wear it any other way.”

“Well then wear it down.” I nodded and she left to go give Kristi a bath and get her dressed. I took that as my cue to start getting ready. I changed into the outfit that Sara wanted me to wear then slowly unbraided my hair. I brushed it out, but slipped a couple ponytail holders into my pocket just in case.

When I came out of my room Sara was already dressed in a sundress that popped with color and showed her best features. Kristi was dressed in an adorable dress that hung from her shoulders with wide straps and a bow tide around her waist. It was a dark blue and the bow was black. Her hair was up in a half pony tail and was braided. We all walked downstairs just as Koner came in the door. He looked up at us and his mouth dropped open.

“My god. I’m the luckiest man in the state. Not one but three gorgeous girls on my arm? I can die a happy man.” Sara laughed as she reached him and gave him a kiss. Kristi ran up and hugged his legs. I stayed to the back but I couldn’t quite smiling. He smiled back at me over Sara’s shoulder. He disengaged himself to go change and he put his hand on my shoulder giving me a light squeeze as he went by.

I couldn’t help fidgeting with my hair as we waited. I wasn’t used to it being down and it was constantly in my way. I kept tucking it behind my ears and pushing it back over my shoulders, but nothing worked. Finally Koner was done and we all walked outside.

Their house was so close that we all just walked. Kristi walked between Sara and Koner holding on to both their hands. That left me following behind them watching the ground so I didn’t fall from walking in three inch heels I wasn’t used to.

I made it to the front door without incident, and it opened just as we reached it. I was more worried about the steps. There were only three of them, but the ground was uneven. I was late to almost all of my classes the last time I wore my boots.

Rob greeted us with enthusiasm that Sara and Koner returned. They went inside and I waited until they were all the way in before I attempted to follow. I put one foot on the first step and was about to take my leap of faith when a hand appeared in front of me. Rob was leaning down slightly and was offering to help me up. I smiled gratefully and took his hand. With his help I made it inside safely without any problems.

I looked up when the door closed. The house looked almost identical to Sara’s and Koner’s but a mirror image. The living room was to the right and the kitchen to the left. The stairs were on the opposite side of the hallway, and the rooms in the back were on the opposite wall.

Everyone had gathered in the kitchen and I vaguely heard Sara introducing Kristi. The note of pride in her voice when she called Kristi her daughter made me smile. I noticed Zeke keeping to back and watching with slight amusement. I turned into the living room to continue looking around.

There were pictures hanging on the right wall. There was Rob about twelve years younger than he was now. He was a very handsome man once upon a time. Now he looked tired with graying temples. There was a young woman with him. She was beautiful. She had long black hair and bright green eyes. There was always a smile on her face. And not one of those fake pose smiles. She was truly happy. I moved down the wall to see pictures of Zeke from the time he was born until he was about five. After that all of the pictures stopped. Not even a school photo.

I turned to look at the rest of the room, and saw a grand piano in the corner. I walked over to it to see an old piece of music sitting on it. I didn’t recognize the piece, but I tried a few of the piano keys anyway. It was kept in tune even though I could see traces of dust on the back. I felt someone behind me and turned my head. Zeke was standing there staring at my fingers still lingering over the keys.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.” I said quickly pulling my hand back. He shook his head.

“Do you play?” he asked quietly. I shrugged.

“A little. It’s been a while though.”

“What do you remember?”

“The notes are easy enough, but I never really played anything that would be considered classic. It infuriated my piano tutor.” I said with a rare fondness for a memory of my own.

“Could you play something now?” I looked over the keys and thought back to see if there was a shred of a song I could play. I remembered my favorite song to play back then. ‘Drops of Jupiter’ by Aerosmith. I sat down carefully and closed my eyes. I played a few more keys to get the feel of it and began. I felt the music flow from my mind to my hands and I flowed with it. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed making music. Not just singing with a group, but making music out of nothing by myself. I kept my eyes closed so I wouldn’t be distracted by Zeke standing behind me. I let the music fill me and I felt like I was floating high above myself. For those few moments I wasn’t just a girl in foster care that couldn’t find a true home. I wasn’t abandoned. I wasn’t a freak that could delve into peoples minds and come out with more information than I ever wanted to know. I was me.

I came back down to earth as the last note hung in the air. I took a deep breath and felt my shoulders sag a little. My mental vacation was over and I was back to reality. I looked up to see Zeke standing next to me instead of behind me like he was. My hair had fallen over my right shoulder and he had been staring at my profile. I was about to ask him what he was staring at when I heard quiet applause from the doorway. I stood and pushed my hair back.

All four of them were standing just barely in the room clapping. Kristi ran to me and jumped into my arms. Sara and Koner were smiling at me and Rob looked almost sad. I was about to apologize when Sara interrupted me.

“I didn’t know you could play.” I shrugged.

“Only a little.”

“Do you know any Mozart?” Koner asked. I shook my head.

“No I really only play more modern songs.” the last thing I ever wanted was to do anything from the past. I had enough of that on a day to day basis.

Rob suggested we go ahead and eat, and I shot him a grateful smile. We all went into the dining room and served ourselves. I ate quietly sitting with Kristi on one side of me and Zeke on the other. Sara and Koner sat on the other side of the table with Rob sitting across from me. Rob kept asking me about school, but I always gave straight forward answers. It made it difficult for any of them to strike up a conversation with me.

“So Rayne you’ve been here for about a month have you made any good friends?” Rob asked in another attempt to engage me in conversation. I shrugged and swallowed the bite I had been chewing.

“Not really.”

“Why not?”

“People don’t usually like me very much. I’ve been told I have an attitude problem.”

“Frank and Will like you.” Zeke put in. I would have glared at him if it hadn’t been considered rude.

“They’re nice enough, but I only talk to them every once in a while.” he let out a whoosh of breath that he had apparently been holding. I turned back to my food effectively forgotten again. I zoned out for a few minutes and came back to hear Sara talking about how she wanted them to learn how to ballroom dance. She looked at me. I guess it was her turn to try to get me to join in.

“What about you Rayne? Wouldn’t you like to learn how to ballroom dance?” I blinked a couple times at her.

“You don’t know how? I could teach you if you want.” I offered with a slight shrug. I took another bite and looked up to see all of them staring at me.

“When did you learn how to dance?” Zeke asked in a mix of awe and frustration.

“About the same time I learned how to play piano.” I answered.

“Which was when?” Koner asked softly.

“When I was twelve.”

“Were you interested in it?” Sara asked with pure curiosity.

“Not until I started really learning how.”

“So someone made you?” Rob asked as he took a drink of water.

“Yeah”

“Why?” Zeke asked this time.

“To keep up appearances.” They all stared at me expectantly. I sighed softly and put my fork down. “When I was twelve I was placed with a wealthy family. I think the husband played the stock market or something. They had a couple kids of their own, but they always wanted a newer version or something. None of the kids lasted long in their house. They took a kid in and made them learn everything about living in a higher society. They made me take dance lessons, piano lessons, tennis lessons, etiquette lessons, equestrian lessons, even made me enter a pageant once. Plus they had a separate tutor to make sure I got top grades in school. As soon as the kid is good at all of them they trade them in for a new one. I think they had a thing for reforming children. They always gave a really high allowance though if you excelled at something.” I finished picking my fork back up.

“Tennis?” Rob asked just as everyone else asked their own questions.

“Etiquette?” Zeke intoned in mild disgust.

“Equestrian?” Sara asked in awe.

“I can’t see you in a pageant.” Koner said shaking his head. I had to laugh.

“Yeah I didn’t place.”

“Why not?” Zeke asked in surprise. I shrugged grinning.

“I was disqualified for refusing to wear a dress. I did just fine in the talent and question parts though.” It was Zeke’s turn to laugh.

“So they made you learn proper etiquette? That kind of explains a lot.” Sara added.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well you have impeccable manners, and perfect posture.” I looked down to see that she was right. I was sitting with my back straight. My left arm was resting lightly on my lap, while my right was hovering over the table never touching it. I looked at every one else and noticed for the first time how they slouched slightly and rested their elbows on the table. I couldn’t count how many times I had been smacked with a spoon when I put my elbows on the table.

“Could you teach me some of it?” Sara asked.

“What do you want to learn?”

“Just some of the stuff you learn for formal parties and stuff like that.” I shrugged. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

“Sure”

“Maybe you could teach Zeke some of that too. He could do with some manners.” Rob said in a teasing tone aimed at his son. Zeke rolled his eyes but smiled all the same.

About twenty minutes later the meal was finished but they all lingered in the dining room to talk. I made the excuse of having to use the rest room. When I left the bathroom I snuck out the front door to get some air. I hated it when I was pressured into talking about the homes I had been in before. Everyone was either really impressed or horrified. Either way not one of those other homes had a happy ending.

I took a deep breathe of the cool night air and relaxed slightly. I jumped when I heard someone close by. I looked to my left to see Zeke standing there on the other side of the porch. I hadn’t noticed him when I came out.

“You needed a break too huh?” he asked quietly coming closer to lean up against the house next to me.

“Yeah”

“You really don’t like talking about those other homes do you?”

“No”

“Why not?”

“Why would I?”

“Fair enough”

“I’m sorry” he said softly. I looked over at him. He was looking out at the street.

“For what?”

“Asking so many questions. I didn’t realize it bothered you so much.” I shrugged.

“It’s not your fault. You’re not the first one that has asked me a lot of questions. I just prefer not to look back.”

“Why not? Sorry I did it again.” I chuckled softly.

“No it’s a fair question. I don’t like to look back because there’s nothing to see. Not for me.”

“But you know so much. You’ve done so much.” I barked a laugh.

“And you know that from what? One story?”

“Yes. You’ve told me one story, and it’s just the tip of the iceberg that is you. It’s what makes you so intriguing.” I looked at him from the corner of my eye.

“You think I’m intriguing?”

“Yep”

“Okay”

We stood there for a few more minutes and then decided we had better get back in. We hung back for another hour before everyone decided to call it a night. We walked back to the house and Sara put Kristi to bed. I went up to my room and changed out of my clothes into something a lot more comfortable.

On Monday after work we had decided to have dinner at the park in the form of a picnic. Kristi loved it. She was able to eat and sit with us and then run around and play on the equipment. They all home but I headed back to the shop to get my car. I had ridden with Koner since the park was only a few blocks from the shop.

I was walking in front of a jeweler’s store when a man stepped out and ran into me. I stepped back to apologize, but it froze on my tongue. I knew him, but he looked through me. He mumbled his apology but continued to his car. He never looked back, but I watched him until he was out of site.

I had just literally bumped into my father after eleven years. And he didn’t recognize me. There was no sign of recognition in his eyes or posture. I might as have well have been a faceless nobody. And to him that’s exactly what I was. Not even worth a second look. I turned on my heel and headed in the opposite direction.

Chapter 7

Zeke

 

 

Me and the guys were playing poker on the living room floor when I my dad’s phone rang on the coffee table. I called for him and he ran in to answer it. It was his night to be on call so he was fully dressed and ready to run out the door.

He relaxed when after he answered it and then tensed again.

“Hold on I’ll ask the boys if they know anything.” he said on his end then looked to us.

“Have you guys heard from Rayne in the last couple of hours?” my dad asked with a sense of urgency that had me on my feet.

“No why?” he turned back to speak into the phone.

“I’m sorry, they don’t know anything. Sara calm down I’m sure she’s fine. Maybe she just broke down.” he paused to listen for a minute. “Her phone could have died.”

“Dad what’s going on?” I asked raising my voice to get his attention. He turned to me.

“Rayne has disappeared. They had a picnic at the park and she walked back to the garage to get her car, but she never showed up at the house. They can’t get a hold of her she’s not answering her phone.”

“We’ll go look for her.” Frank said as he headed for the door with me and Will on his heels.

“I’ll call you when we find her.” I said as I walked out the door.

We drove around for about a half hour before we spotted her. She was walking down the street headed for Koner’s shop. She had something in her hand that she brought to her mouth every few steps. She was walking unsteadily but intent on where she was going.

She walked in the door just as we pulled into the parking lot. We parked and followed her in. The place was dark except for a lamp at the very end. We followed the light and found her laying down on the work table of her work station. She looked up at us bleary eyed and gave us a lazy smile.

“Well look who it is.” her words were slurred. She had a bottle wrapped in a paper bag dangling from her hand that was hanging over the table. I grabbed it and pulled the bottle out.

“Hey” she protested lazily when I grabbed it from her. It was a fifth of whiskey. There were only about two inches left in the bottle. I put the bottle back in her hand and she put it to her lips taking a large swallow. My throat burned just watching.

“What are you doing?” I asked incredulous. She seemed too straight laced and up tight to just drop everything to go get drunk.

“I would think that it was obvious.” she answered.

“Yeah but why?” Will asked gently. He seemed even more shocked than I felt. Frank hovered at her side looking concerned.

“Why not?”

“What kind of answer is that?” Jacob asked he was the only one that seemed to find any amusement in the situation.

“A general one that gives no details and no real explanation. That’s the only way I seem to be able to answer any questions these days.”

“Keep an eye on her I’m going to go call my dad.” I said quietly to Will and Frank. They nodded and I moved off so she couldn’t hear me. I dialed my dad and he picked up on the first ring.

“Zeke”

“Hey dad we found her. She’s at the shop we saw her walking in.”

“Thank god. Sara and Koner will be so relieved. Did she have an explanation?”

“That’s just it. She’s…well she’s drunk.” there was a moment of silence.

“What do you mean she’s drunk?”

“I mean she’s plastered. It looks like she’s killed a fifth of whiskey by herself.”

“Are you sure she wasn’t with anyone else?”

“No there isn’t anyone in this town that she would give the time of day to let alone drink with.” he sighed.

“Okay well I’m going to call Koner and we’ll all head over there to get her. I want to make sure she’s okay.”

“Dad wait a little while before you call them.”

“Zeke I can’t do that.”

“Dad please. Something happened to make her lose control like this. I want to find out what it is so she isn’t humiliated by this.” I could hear him thinking for a couple minutes.

“Fine you’ve got twenty minutes before I call. Then I’m betting you’ll be lucky to find five more.”

“Thanks” I hung up and walked back over to the group. They were all quiet and she had her eyes closed. Just as I wondered if she had passed out she looked up at me.

“So are they coming to get me?” she asked.

“No not right away we’ve got a little time.”

“My hero” she said with a slight chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” I asked as I found a stool near by. I sat down level with her head and looked at her.

“Everything if you drink enough.” she answered and waggled her eyebrows as she took another drink. “You know this is nothing.”

“What do you mean?” Will asked as he brought over a stool of his own.

“This bottle. It’s nothing. When I was ten I lived with a lawyer and his housewife. Both of them were closet alcoholics. The wife hosted parties and hid wine in her tea. He carried a flask in his briefcase. The funny thing was that they knew they were alcoholics. They just didn’t want to change it. Instead they decided to make sure the kids they took in didn’t turn out the same way. So they made us drink all the time. They made us drink and drink until we got sick everyday. By the end of it I was so sick of it I wanted to leave so I told the lawyer I knew about his blackmailing a judge in order to win all of his cases. I left the next day. After that they stopped taking kids. But I got to where I could drink a half gallon before I got sick.” Frank made a sound of disgust in his throat and tried to cover it with a small cough. She didn’t seem to notice.

“Why would you want to drink now?” Will asked gently. She shrugged.

“Drastic problems call for drastic measures. Or something like that.” she drained the rest of the bottle and plunked it down on the table next to her. There was a pole at the end of the table and sat up to lean against it with her legs folded Indian style in front of her.

“Whoa” she said when she got upright. “You know I’ve been in seventeen homes before this one?” she asked rhetorically. I saw the guys widen their eyes in surprise. “And I guarantee that every one of them will remember me. They’ll remember my name and what I look like. They’ll cross the street to avoid me, but they’ll notice me. All of them except the one that I came from.” she bent over laughing as Will, Frank, and I exchanged worried glances.

“I’m sure the one you came from will remember you.” Frank tried to reassure her. She smiled sadly at him.

“You’re sweet, but they don’t.”

“How do you know?” I asked with dread building in my chest.

“Because I saw him. My father. Today when I was walking back to get my car. He bumped into me. He looked me in the eye and didn’t recognize me. Didn’t even bother to look twice.” she grabbed the bottle then remembered it was empty and put it back down with dismay.

“When was the last time you saw him?” Jacob asked earning a glare from the rest of us.

“I was six. He drove away and my mom dropped me off at the church. I haven’t seen him since. At least until today.” I took a deep breath. I had wanted to hear her story, but not like this. I wanted her to tell me because she wanted to. Not because she didn’t realize what she was saying.

“So what’s up with you and that Chase guy?” I mean you can’t walk by each other without glaring daggers.” Jacob pried. I was ready to smack him.

“You didn’t tell them?” she asked me in surprise. I shook my head and she shrugged and turned back to Jacob.

“He’s my ex. He and Sam are cut from the same mold. He would use the new girl and then throw her away. I was the new girl and he turned on the flattery. He didn’t get far with that, but then he adjusted his act to a more down to earth kind of guy. I fell for it. But then I guess he got bored with me and he cheated on me thinking I wouldn’t find out. Theoretically it should have worked. I didn’t talk to anyone and no one talked to me. But I found out anyway. I broke up with him and he got obsessive about it. He had a reputation to protect I guess. He kept calling me all the time. He wouldn’t leave me alone at school. He kept trying to get me back. Probably so he could break up with me this time. It didn’t help that I made the breakup pretty public so he couldn’t turn it around on me. Finally I moved here and I thought it was over. I didn’t realize he would follow me here.”

“What makes you think he followed you here?” Will asked his curiosity peaked.

“His family is rich and he can con his parents into anything. Why would he leave popularity and a regular supply of girls to warm his bed just to start over here? His father works abroad and they own property all over the county. There’s no reason for him to be here. Especially since his parents will let him live wherever he wants without parental supervision.”

“That’s persistence.” Frank muttered and she chuckled. She laid down again and closed her eyes. After a couple minutes her breathing slowed and became rhythmic. She had passed out. I watched her for a few moments marveling at the change. She seemed so peaceful in sleep. When she was awake it was like she had a constant chip on her shoulder. But asleep when she was completely relaxed she looked completely different.

We heard a couple of cars pull onto the parking lot and we all stood. I told the others to stay with her and went outside. I met my dad and Koner before they reached the door, and I held up my hands to stall them from going inside.

“Step aside Zeke” Koner said trying to step around me. He radiated anger and worry. I stepped into his path again.

“Wait you don’t understand.” I started but he interrupted me.

“What I understand is that she left us to worry ourselves sick about her while she ran off to have fun. Now move.” he tried to step around me again but I wouldn’t let him.

“No wait there’s a reason that she did what she did.”

“What did you find out?” my dad asked and Koner turned on him.

“Relax friend. I think we should we hear him out before we just barge in there.” he nodded at me to continue and the look in his eyes said to hurry. I complied gratefully.

“She saw her father.” Koner stopped seething long enough to look confused.

“Her father?” my dad asked perplexed. I nodded.

“Her biological father.”

“How would she know who her father was? Wasn’t she put into the system when she was born?” Koner asked. I shook my head.

“No when she was six. Her father ran into her today and he didn’t recognize her. So she went and got a bottle. She’s really torn up about it. Please don’t be too hard on her.” my dad kept quiet and Koner looked at the ground for a few minutes. When he looked up he had completely calmed down. He nodded at me and I let him pass. I followed both of them to where Rayne was still sleeping. The guys had gathered to the other side of the table and tried to stay out of his way. They all looked to be at different stages of worry. I looked her over and she had rolled over to her side. She was still sound asleep. My dad looked at her with so much sympathy I was glad she hadn’t woken up.

Koner picked her up gently and left the building. We watched out the window as he laid her in the back seat and drove off. My dad turned to us with so much seriousness that my friends shrank a little.

“I trust that you all know to keep whatever she said to yourselves?” he asked eyeing us all. We nodded and he heaved a sigh. “Good because this is a very personal issue for her, and she’s likely to be embarrassed enough when she wakes up.”

We all left the building and I took my friends home. We rode in silence and I went directly to bed after I got home. It had been a long night and I had a lot to think about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rayne

 

 

 

I woke up in my bed still in my clothes from the night before. I laid there in confusion for a minute until the memories came back to me. Unfortunately it was impossible to forget anything. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get rid of them. The more I tried to repress the more they stood out. I sighed and stood. My body was stiff but I didn’t have a hang over. I hadn’t had a hang over since I was ten.

I groaned as the memory of the conversation I had with the guys made it’s appearance. I took a hot shower staying under the water longer than was necessary. I didn’t want to face Sara and Koner. They were bound to be furious with me after my disappearing act last night. I looked at my phone and had to turn it on. I had twelve missed calls. All from Sara. I sighed and went downstairs to face whatever consequence waited for me.

I found all of them at the dining room table eating breakfast. They greeted me cheerfully as I sat down and Sara put a plate in front of me. It was full of food. All the right food for a post drunken breakdown. I ate quietly while I waited for the other shoe to drop. They kept up a good conversation with Kristi. They talked until I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Listen I’m sorry about last night-” I started but Koner cut me off.

“Don’t worry about it. Just for future reference if you’re not going to come home please call us first okay?” he asked. I nodded and they went back to their meal. Unfortunately it was impossible for me to let anything go when I didn’t understand it.

“So you’re not mad?” I asked.

“No we were just really worried about you. We understand that sometimes you need to handle things on your own. But we do want you to know that if you ever need someone to talk to one of us is always available. But don’t disappear on us again. I’m too young to die of a heart attack.” Sara said with a smile. I smiled back and went back to my food. After a few more minutes I had to leave or I would be late for school.

 

The day went by slowly and I spent most of it wishing I had a pair of Zeke’s sunglasses. I ignored him as best as I could during class and he gave me the same courtesy.

Lunch was a different story. I walked by their table and the other three stared at me with varying degrees of concern and curiosity. I felt myself blush as I walked to my table. I got my book out and started reading, but Chase was talking loudly at the table on the other side of mine. He was telling a ridiculous story about me that was half fabrication. I rolled my eyes and pulled out my mp3 player.

When I got home Kristi had a few friends from her day care center there. Zeke showed up a little later and we went up to my room again instead of trying to study with four screaming little girls running around. Unfortunately they decided to run around the upstairs too. Sara tried to keep them downstairs but they wouldn’t listen.

“Do you just want to go over to my house?” Zeke asked after an hour and a headache was beginning to form behind my eyes.

“Sure” we gathered our things and I went down to the kitchen to let Sara know. She was baking cookies for the girls and was excited for me when I told her we were going over to Zeke’s house.

“We’re only going to study Sara. It’s not a date.” she shrugged.

“It’s a start.” I shook my head and walked back into the hallway. I froze in surprise and had to put a lot of effort into not laughing. Kristi was standing in front of the door and was sticking her tongue out at Zeke. Zeke, instead of ignoring her like most people would, stood there sticking his tongue out at her just as hard. I cleared my throat and they both straightened up quickly. Zeke had a bit of color that was slowly climbing up his neck to his ears.

“Shall we go?”

“I’d love to but the little gremlin won’t budge.” I looked at Kristi and she folded her arms with a smug look at Zeke. Fortunately for us I knew the magic words.

“Sara’s making cookies.” She looked up in excitement and ran for the kitchen. Of course she didn’t know that they weren’t done yet. I motioned for Zeke to leave quickly. I followed him out just as Kristi returned to yell at us.

We ran a few steps and bent over laughing. When we calmed down we started walking to Zeke’s. We walked in comfortable silence until we walked through the front door. He led me to the living room. We got comfortable on the couch and resumed our efforts with studying.

After a half hour Zeke had mastered the lesson and we started talking about other things. We talked about everything and nothing. It was easier to be around him after the night before. I guess I felt that I had embarrassed myself as much as I could there was no reason to hold back.

He respected my wishes and never asked anything personal. We stuck to safe topics including his friends. He told me how Frank was large, but harmless, and very protective. All of which I already knew. He explained how Will never strayed from the norm, but was loyal to a fault. Something else I already knew. Jacob he said was overly curious. His curiosity got the better of him and often led to him getting hurt. He told me how he couldn’t stand that girl that I always saw hanging on him. I laughed a lot at her expense. I told him about some of the people I had met at my various schools. Most of which he laughed at.

Finally we were interrupted by his dad coming in from work. He greeted us with pleasant surprise and I looked at the time. I was a half hour late getting back. I jumped to my feet and started gathering my things in a hurry.

“What’s wrong?” Zeke asked in surprise.

“I’m late I was supposed to be back by six. I can’t mess up again after last night.” in my hurry I knocked Zeke’s books to the floor. I groaned and bent to pick them up.

“Rayne relax. I’ll call them and let them know your here and that you lost track of time. I’m sure they’ll be okay with it these things happen.” Rob said slowly trying to calm me down.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and walked into the other room. I finished picking up my mess with Zeke’s help. He walked back into the room and I looked up at him.

“It’s okay they knew you were over here so they weren’t worried. They’ve already eaten so they said you can have dinner here tonight if you’d like.” he offered with a smile.

“Yeah you can have the delicious cooking of the nearest Chinese take out .” Zeke said with a smile. I smiled back.

“Chinese sounds wonderful.” Rob laughed and went to go order the food. I stacked all of my things on the table neatly so I wouldn’t have to worry about it later. We all sat in the living room talking until the food arrived. We took it into the dining room. The dinner tasted wonderful and the conversation was pleasant.

It was seven thirty by the time I walked out the door. I walked to the house quickly and apologized for my lateness as soon as I walked in. They assured me that it was fine and I was in no trouble. I went up to my room to relax before I went to bed and Kristi followed me in wanting me to read to her.

Chapter 8

The next week followed the same pattern. I went to Zeke’s to study instead of him coming to me. We would work for about a half hour then talk for the rest of the time. I was careful to be home by dinner every night, but I was really beginning to enjoy Zeke’s company. His house was always relaxed and quiet. We had privacy to do or say anything we wanted. We kept the conversations neutral and he was careful not to as me anything about my past. Sometimes we ran out of things to talk about and just sat there in comfortable silence.

One day at lunch I was sitting at my table reading when someone tapped on the table top. I looked up to see Will standing there. I pulled my head phones out and looked at him expectantly. He seemed the most comfortable with my habitual silence than anyone else I’ve known.

“Hey I told them about that girl in choir that sounds like a frog and they don’t believe me. Could you back me up here?” he asked. I looked at the others to see them all staring at me.

“Yeah it’s true.” I said.

“I’m sorry what was that? I couldn’t hear you.” Frank said with a sleigh smile. I repeated myself a little louder.

“What was that?” Zeke answered with a full out grin. I looked up at Will to see him smiling down at me. I was being set up. I sighed and grabbed my things. I slid a chair over to sit between Zeke and Will and joined in on the conversation about the girl that croaked like a frog. By the end of it we were all laughing.

Of course whenever I was in a genuinely good mood something had to happen to dampen it. A girl with long legs and a mini skirt that barely covered the essentials walked up and sat on Zeke’s lap startling him.

“Do I know you?” he asked her in dismay. Unfortunately I did.

“Not yet hot stuff but I’m sure you will.” I watched as she got more comfortable in Zeke’s lap and something foul started to curl around my stomach. Finally she turned to me and her smile widened with venom.

“Rayne! So nice to see you again sweetie.” she said in a tone that was sickeningly sweet.

“Megan. Get kicked out of another boarding school?” I asked with just as much fake sweetness.

“You know her?” Zeke asked incredulously.

“Unfortunately yes. Guys meet Chase’s older sister Megan.” I had an immense sense of pleasure when they all looked at her with as much disgust as I felt. Zeke pushed her off of his lap with more force than was necessary. She pouted for a moment then Chase walked up next to her.

“Now you boys wouldn’t be treating a lady harshly would you?” he asked in a mock stern tone. I snorted not a very lady like notion but I couldn’t control it. He looked at me and his smile widened.

“If that’s a lady then I’m a hag.” I said with as much distaste as I could muster in one sentence.

“Oh only in your looks, but I’m sure you‘ll grow out of it.” Megan said with the same sweetness. I could almost feel my blood sugar rising. I gave her an obvious once over.

“At least I haven’t had to have any medical enhancements.” I answered referring to her obvious boob job. Chase let out a belt of laughter that caught the attention of four or five tables around us. He walked around and put his arm around my shoulder. I looked at his arm in disgust and briefly considered breaking it. He must have seen the idea forming because he removed it quickly.

“Alright girls put the claws away. Come on Meg I’ll show you to our locker. We have a lot of catching up to do.” I glared at their backs as they walked away arm in arm.

“I take it you don’t like her.” Zeke said after a couple minutes of silence. I looked over at him.

“They’re the twins from hell.” I answered in a deadly serious tone.

“Twins?” Will asked obviously referring to the fact that they didn’t really look a lot alike.

“They’re not actual twins. Megan is a year older almost to the day. She’s a senior and Chase is a junior, but they’re inseparable. Like finishing each other’s sentences inseparable. And they are almost exactly alike. Except of course that he ruins any girl he can and she’s ripped out more guy’s hearts than I could count in a year. They have both been kicked out of every boarding school they’re parents can get them into. Every time they’re kicked out it’s for inexplicable circumstances.”

“Why do you hate her so much? I mean besides the reasons you just listed.” Frank asked.

“I’ve never liked her. She treated me scum any chance she could. Luckily it wasn’t often. I only ever saw her when I went to Chase’s house which was maybe once a month.”

“How long did you two date?” Zeke asked.

“About six months. I made him wait a long time.”

The bell rang and I was saved from answering to many more intimate questions. I went through the rest of the day, and sighed with relief when I walked through the front door, and was greeted by Kristi. She through a fit when I walked out again to go over to Zeke’s. Sara offered her some cookies and she was over it.

I knocked on their door and was surprised when Rob answered. He greeted me warmly and ushered me into the living room. Zeke was already sitting on the couch with his book open. I sat down next to him and set up my own things. When he didn’t sit forward to start I gave him a questioning look.

“Oh yeah. My works already done.” he said with a sleigh smile. He handed me his notebook and I looked it over. He was telling the truth. It was all done and it was all accurate.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I didn’t have to come over if you already had it done.”

“Exactly” I shot him another look and he sighed.

“If I had told you it was done you wouldn’t have come over.”

“Yeah and?”

“And I wanted you to come over anyway.”

“Why?” I asked suddenly uneasy.

“Because I thought it would be nice if we could hang out without having to do homework.” I sighed and gathered my things together although I didn’t immediately start to leave like I should have.

“So what did you want to do since we don’t have to do homework?” I asked he looked a guilty.

“Well if you still need to do the work I can wait.” I shook my head.

“I’ve already finished the book.” his eyes widened.

“What do you mean you’ve finished the book?”

“I’ve finished the book. I have all of the chapters done.”

“How? You’ve only been here for like six weeks.”

“I did half of it before I even moved here. We had the same text book at my last school.”

“How do you do that?” he asked incredulously.

“Do what finish the book?” I asked confused.

“No. How are you so good at everything you do? I mean the rest of us have to work and work to be half as good as you, and you just seem to do it with no effort at all.” I got more and more angry with every word that he said. I turned to face him fully and he shrank back a little. Suddenly realizing that he had overstepped the bounds that we had set when we first started our friendship.

“No effort? I am good at what I do because I work three times as hard as anyone else.” He raised his hands in surrender.

“Okay I’m sorry I understand.” Yet again he had said the very worst thing he could think of. I stood and grabbed my things.

“No you really don’t. There is no way you could possibly understand.” He stood and stepped in my way when I turned to leave.

“Okay I’ll give you that. I don’t understand. I don’t understand because you won’t explain it. You won’t explain anything…ever. Maybe if you did I might have a chance. I might be able to. Give me a little credit. I’ve let you set the rules for everything we do and talk about. Give me at least something for trying to be understanding.” He ripped his sunglasses off and I dropped my eyes to the floor. “See that. That is what I’m talking about.”

“What?”

“You are a walking contradiction. Your good at everything but you take no credit for it. You act like it’s nothing. You walk and hold yourself with confidence while you do things that says you have no self esteem. You’ll square off with anyone but you won’t look them in the eye.” he put his glasses back on and I looked back up at his face. For the first time I wished I could look him in the eye. Every time I was around him the pressure would build until I felt like my head would explode. The only thing that made me feel safe were those thin pieces of plastic.

“I’m a walking contradiction, because I have to be. You don’t understand, and there is no way that you could.”

“Why!”

“Because you have never had to work for what you needed!”

“How would you know that? I have put a lot of work into what I have needed and wanted.”

“Yeah wanted! But when I came to things that truly mattered. That you needed to thrive? It was handed to you!”

“What are you talking about?” I took a step toward him and he stepped back. I could see his eyes widening even behind his glasses.

“You have never had to work your heart out just to get someone to care about you. You have never felt the lack of affection. You have never laid awake at night wondering what was so wrong that no one could love you enough to keep you. You have never had to come to terms with the fact that it will never happen. I don’t talk about my past because there is nothing but crushing disappointment. I have worked so hard at everything I ever did, because I thought it was the only way I could get someone to keep me. I worked to have a place to call home. Until eventually working became habit. It became the only thing that kept me going, the way I bided my time until I aged out of the system. I carry myself with confidence, because I earned it. I didn’t have anyone coddling me my entire life telling me I deserved it. And I don’t make eye contact for my own reasons.” He was stunned to silence and I took my chance. I stepped around him toward the door. I was just reaching for the handle when he asked one more question.

“What does your tattoo mean?” I half turned just enough to see Rob standing in the kitchen listening. He was shaking his head sadly.

“That is none of your business.” I answered in a hard tone. I wasn’t sure who I was talking to. Zeke for his prying or Rob with his eavesdropping. Maybe it was both, but I didn’t stop to contemplate it. I opened the door and walked out shutting it firmly.

I walked into Sara’s house and went straight up to my room without talking to anyone. I wasn’t very good company at that moment, and I didn’t want to put anyone else off.

I was feeling a lot calmer by the time dinner was done so I went down to eat in order to avoid questions. Unfortunately it seemed that questions would find me whether I made an appearance or not.

“Rob called earlier.” Sara said quietly. I nodded but kept my eyes on my plate. She either didn’t see the hint or she ignored it. “He asked if you were alright. Did something happen at his house this afternoon?” I shrugged. “He said you were pretty upset when you left.”

“What else did he say?” I asked worried that he had told her everything I had said.

“Just that he was worried, and that he wanted me to tell you he was sorry.” I nodded. I felt bad for being so rude to him. After all me and Zeke were pretty loud he probably couldn’t help but over hear.

“Did he say something to you? To upset you?” she pried. I sighed and put my fork down my appetite gone.

“No. Me and Zeke had a fight and he just happened to hear it.”

“What did you fight about?” I shrugged.

“Nothing important. I’m not really hungry I think I’ll go back to my room.” I picked up my plate and took it into the kitchen. I went back up to my room and spent the next half hour laying on my bed staring at the ceiling.

I heard footsteps on the stairs but ignored them thinking Sara was getting Kristi ready for bed. But instead the steps stopped at my door and I looked up. It was Sara but she was looking at me with a worried expression. I sat up and she stepped into the room.

“Zeke is downstairs. He asked to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to see him.” I laid back down and she went back downstairs. I laid there for a few more minutes until I heard more footsteps that stopped at my door. I looked over to see Zeke standing there watching me. I stood up and faced him fully.

“Get out.” Instead of doing what I told him to he took a step into the room. “What are you doing?” I asked backing my way to my desk. He closed the door softly then turned back to me. When he made it into the middle of the room effectively blocking my only escape he finally spoke.

“I just wanted to apologize.” he said quietly.

“Great you’ve done that so leave.” he sighed and shook his head.

“Are you really that callous?” he asked.

“That’s one hell of an apology.” he chuckled slightly.

“See that was another of the things I was talking about earlier. You’re so serious and straight laced, but at the same time you have a sense of humor.” I rolled my eyes.

“That was sarcasm.”

“I know, but it was still funny.” I heaved a sigh and spread my arms slightly.

“What do you want Zeke?” he sat down on my bed and looked up at me.

“That is a complicated question. I want a lot of things. Not many of them I’m willing to tell you. But right now I want to apologize for being such an ass earlier and to have everything go back to the way they were. When you were comfortable with me.”

“How can I do that when you’re constantly wondering about things I can’t talk about.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Right now can’t. I’m sorry but no one has ever gotten close enough to hear everything. And I need you to understand that there is a reason for it.” he nodded and looked down at the floor.

“Okay I can do that. I won’t push anymore. But I also need you to at least tell me something. I can’t keep going with this whole you being a comfortable stranger thing.” My shoulders dropped slightly and I sat down in the desk chair.

The problem was that I had grown to care about what Zeke thought of me. As I thought about it I realized I cared a lot. I didn’t like how attached to him I had become. But somewhere between today and the first time I tutored him I began looking forward to the time I spent with him.

“Okay you can ask me one question. Just one and you have to ask it before you leave, but after that you have to let me tell you the rest on my own time.”

“Fair enough.”

“So ask.” He didn’t even pause to think.

“What does your tattoo mean?” I shook my head.

“Not that one.” He opened his hand to speak but I held up my hand to stop him. “That is very, very personal and not a story I tell lightly. In fact I’ve never told anyone. Most people don’t even see it.” He nodded but still looked disgruntled by it. I started fidgeting with ring and followed the movement. He held his hand out and I pulled back a little.

“I just want to look at it. Please.” I hesitated but took it off and placed it in his palm without touching him. He twisted it this way and that looking at the design. “Where did you get it?” he asked after a minute or two. He handed it back to me and I put it back on with relief. It was still a personal question, and not one I had told before either, but one I was willing to.

“When I was seven I was placed in a home with another girl my age. We were placed there within a week of each other and our circumstances were similar. We became very close very quickly. Like sisters but closer. The couple was upper middle class and truly cared about the kids they took in. They didn’t need the checks from the state that came every month so they put it into a checking account for each of us and gave us the debit cards to spend it on anything we wanted. We saved every penny of it to spend on something special. We didn’t know what it would be and would joke about buying a car when we were old enough. But after about six months it became apparent that they were going to send me away, but keep her. We panicked a little and the day before I was to leave we ran away. Well we didn’t actually run away. We just took the bus to town without telling anyone. We were going to go back, but we wanted a day together without anyone else. We went into a jeweler’s and looked through all of the pieces the guy had. He knew we were alone and too young to be so, but he was nice to us. We saw these necklaces. They were in all different stones. Ruby, emerald, sapphire, amethyst, and onyx. They all came in pairs meant to be some kind of best friend sets for rich people. We chose the onyx because we were both afraid of the dark, and it was something that we helped each other with. We thought that if we carried the dark with us that it couldn’t hurt us, and we wouldn’t be afraid of it anymore. They took every penny we had, but we didn’t regret it. Of course the jeweler called the police while we were looking, but he sized the chains perfectly for us. I left the next day. The unfortunate thing about being little when a piece of jewelry is sized for you is that you eventually grow out of it. By the time I was ten the chain didn’t fit anymore. I wore it as a bracelet for a couple years. When I was twelve I found a way to the same jeweler and had him make this ring for it. I’ve had to have it sized a few times, but I never stopped wearing it. I haven’t seen her since.” I finished watching his face carefully. He kept his expression neutral, but he never looked away from my face.

“Have you tried to find her?” he asked finally breaking the tension.

“Of course from what I’ve found out the couple adopted her, but when I tried to contact them they refused to let me talk to her. Wouldn’t even let me write.”

“Why not?” he asked in indignant anger. I smiled slightly but only shrugged. That was one secret I would never tell him. He sighed and looked to the floor seeing through my evasion.

“Okay. Thank you for sharing that with me. I really appreciate that you trusted me enough. I’ll hold up my end of the deal, and stop pushing, but you have to do something for me.”

“That wasn’t part of the deal!”

“I know, but it’s small, and nearly painless.” I raised an eyebrow.

“Nearly?” he laughed.

“Yes nearly. All I want is for you to suffer my company for one night. Go to the movies with me on Saturday.” I took a deep breathe ready to decline. He raised his hands quickly. “Not a date. Just a public display of friendship. I’m tired of just hanging out at my house. I want to go out and have fun that’s all. Besides all you do is go to school and work. I’d like to show you the town.” I thought about it for a moment then reluctantly nodded. He gave me a smile that made my heart skip a beat.

“Great. I pick you up at six and we can grab a bite to eat before the movie starts.” he stood up to leave, but turned back when he reached the door. “Umm what kind of movies do you like?” I shrugged.

“Mostly action and horror.” I answered and he surprised me by throwing his head back with a loud laugh. “What’s so funny?” I asked a little indignantly.

“Nothing my kind of girl. I was afraid you would say a romantic comedy.” he said between chuckles. I ignored the ‘my kind of girl’ comment and wrinkled my nose.

“I hate chick flicks.” he laughed again and waved as he walked out. I laid back down on my bed but this time it was in contemplation instead of misery.

 

The next morning I told Sara and Koner about going to the movies with Zeke. Sara squealed and Kristi sulked. It didn’t matter how many times I told them it wasn’t a date Sara still treated it like it was. For two days I was stuck listening to her excited babble. I tried escaping out the back door once, but Koner was already out there hiding. I gave him a pleading look, but he just grimaced in sympathy, and pointed back to the door. I groaned and went back in to deal with Sara’s fussing some more.

Finally it was time for me to get dressed and go. I didn’t want to change my clothes, but Sara insisted that, even though we weren’t calling it a date, I wear something nice. I settled with my dark blue shirt and a jacket that Sara provided. She wanted me to wear my boots, but I put my foot down.

Six o’clock came and went. I waited in the living room for him to show up, but at seven thirty I gave up and heated up a plate of left over dinner. I couldn’t stand the looks of sympathy Sara kept giving me so I went upstairs to take a shower. I sat down in my window seat and looked outside. I was about to close the curtain and open my book when a movement caught my eye. Zeke’s car was pulling into his driveway. I watched as he and his friends got out laughing. They walked inside and I sighed. Well at least they were having fun.

About five minutes later I heard the front door open and close. I looked up from my book and looked out my window again. Koner was walking down the street to Zeke’s. I watched as he knocked on the door. Rob answered with a smile, but as Koner talked his smile faltered and then disappeared. I put my face in my hands. Could the humiliation get any worse.

I looked back up to see Rob with a scowl turn to call into the house. A minute later Zeke walked out onto the porch. The light was perfect for me to see his face, and he was smiling. Until he took in the expression on the two men’s faces. Then his expression turned to worry.

I saw him say something, and Rob answered him. His expression turned to worry, and then dawning realization, and finally horror.

Chapter 9

Zeke

 

 

 

I was confused when my dad called me out onto the porch. When I saw Koner I smiled in greeting, but he just glared at me. I looked at my dad and his face was red with anger.

“What’s going on?” I asked with a touch of worry. My dad crossed his arms.

“Did you forget to do something today?” he asked quietly. I hated it when he was quiet. It meant that he wasn’t just angry he was disappointed. I thought back to everything I had done that day. It had been a slow day so I went bowling with the guys. Then we caught a movie. I froze. I remembered. I was supposed to take Rayne to the movies tonight. God how could I have forgotten her? I worked so hard to figure out a way to get her to go. And after she told me that story. It obviously meant a lot for her to tell me, and I knew it wasn’t easy for her. I rubbed my face and ran my hands through my hair.

“How mad is she?” I asked Koner preparing for the worst. He shook his head.

“I don’t know. She wouldn’t say anything. She waited for about two hours and then just went up to her room.” I sighed and dropped my shoulders.

“How could you stand her up like this?” my dad asked. I shook my head and spread my hands.

“I don’t know I just forgot.”

“You forgot?” Koner asked with raised eyebrows. He looked like he was ready to beat me within an inch of my life, and I would have let him. I felt like such an ass.

Frank and Will came out to see what was going on. I had left an unfinished game of poker going inside.

“What’s going on?” Will asked uneasily feeling the tension.

“I was supposed to take Rayne to the movies tonight. I forgot.” I answered. Will looked at me in horror and Frank smacked me on the back of the head. I turned back to Koner pleading and ready to beg on my knees.

“Can you tell her I’m sorry?” I asked.

“No. You’re on your own with this one. You are going to have to face her yourself. And she doesn’t strike me as easily forgiving.” he turned and headed back to his house. Sara stood in the doorway glaring at me. My dad shook his head at me and went back inside. Frank and Will followed him but I stayed outside for a few more minutes. I looked up at Rayne’s window, and saw the curtain flutter just a few seconds before the light turned off.

I went back in to see the guys gathering their things to leave. They each glared at me as they walked out. I was going to catch hell for this from everyone. It didn’t really bother me we would be back on good terms by Monday. But I didn’t know what I was going to say to Rayne. If she would even talk to me after this.

My dad walked back into the room and leaned against the wall.

“First you ruin things by offending and then attacking her a few days ago. Then you promise to take her out and you forget?”

“Yes dad I know. I feel bad enough as it is.”

“Not as bad as she feels I bet. She took a big risk trusting you with part of her past. A past that she keeps buried as much as possible. Then you ruin it. You do realize that it‘s only been a few weeks since she realized that her father forgot about her right?” I groaned. I hadn’t even thought about that. She never talked about it and I didn’t dare mention it.

“I know! It wasn’t on purpose. I got caught up with the guys. I was really looking forward to getting her out.”

“Well now you’re going to have to work three times as hard as before. You really messed up and I guarantee she will make you pay for it. If she’s even willing to allow you back into her life.” he walked away and I sighed. He was right. I really, really messed up this time. I was worried that she actually would write me off for this. It seemed like something she would do. She had enough trust issues she didn’t need to be constantly worried about me.

 

 

At school on Monday she had reverted to acting like I didn’t exist. I even acted like I didn’t know how to do my physics problems, but it didn’t do any good. Thanks to her I not only got a better grade, but I actually understood the material.

I walked into the cafeteria with the guys, but instead of sitting at our table, I stood next to hers. I knew she wouldn’t be sitting with us today. When I parted with them Will gave me slap on the back.

“Get ready to grovel. She’s going to make you.”

I waited for another few minutes until she walked in. She kept her eyes on the floor like she always did, and didn’t bother to even look at the table she had been sitting at for the last week or so. She didn’t notice me until she was a few feet away. She looked up at me with a stony look, and turned on her heel to walk away.

There was a loud laugh from the next table over and I looked at them. Chase was the one laughing and Megan joined in.

“Good luck. She doesn’t forgive easily.” I ignored him and followed her out into the hall. She was walking fast and I had to jog to catch up.

“Wait!” I called. She didn’t even pause until I stopped in front of her. She gave me the same stony look.

“Don’t bother.” she tried to step around me but I blocked her way. “Get out of my way.” she said in a monotone.

“No not until you hear me out.” she crossed her arms and looked at me.

“Fine” I sighed in relief.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to forget I just got caught up.”

“That’s good. You can stop feeling guilty now.” she tried to step around me again, but I wouldn’t let her. I guess the relief was a little premature.

“Please stop. Look I know I screwed up. But at least give me a chance to make it up to you.”

“Good luck with that. I’m not a big fan of second chances.”

“I know. I really didn’t mean to make you mad.” Finally she showed some emotion. Unfortunately it didn’t look like it was in my favor.

“I wasn’t mad Zeke. I was humiliated. Do you know how much gushing I had to put up with from Sara? And then the sympathy when you didn’t show up.” she shook her head and rubbed her eyes. I felt a jolt when she said my name that confused me.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’ll do anything just name.” she raised her eyebrows.

“Anything?” she asked. I nodded probably a little too enthusiastically.

“Yes anything. Anything you want. I will beg for your forgiveness on my knees in front of the entire school if you want. Just say the word.” She gave me a small smile.

“Okay” she tried to walk around me again but I had to stop her.

“Wait. What do you want me to do?” She looked thoughtful for moment.

“I‘m not sure. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.” she walked past me and this time I let her. I was torn between immense happiness and great worry.

 

 

 

 

 

Rayne

 

 

I was reeling with Zeke’s promise to do anything I asked. He didn’t seem the type to relinquish control like that. But I was going to milk it for all I could. Although I didn’t think I could humiliate him. Not that it wouldn’t be possible. More like I couldn’t make myself do it.

After school I went over to his house to study. It took all of five minutes before I gathered my things. He looked up at me in confusion and alarm.

“What are you doing?” he asked. I stood and looked down at him.

“I’m leaving.”

“Why!?” he asked standing. I looked up at him and again wished I could see his eyes. I knew they were green when he was younger, but pictures are different than the real thing.

“Because you don’t need me.”

“Of course I do.” I shook my head but smiled to soften it.

“No you don’t. You know how to do the work you don’t need my help anymore.” I bent to pick up my things, but he put his hand on them to stop me.

“Okay so I might be better at the school work, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need your company. I wouldn’t be able to do the work if it weren’t for you. Can’t you stay? You know to keep me motivated?” he asked quickly.

“You already have most of it done. It won’t take longer than ten minutes for you to finish. You don’t need any motivation.”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t need the company. Come on. It gets pretty lonely here all by myself before my dad gets home.” he gave me a crooked grin and I sat back down.

“Fine” He sat back down and finished his work. I was right. It took him less than ten minutes. When he was done he turned to me.

“So have you figured out what you’re going to make me do?” he asked conversationally.

“Nope. When I find out you’ll be the first to know.” he grimaced but didn’t say anything else about it.

We spent the next couple of hours just talking. We never talked about anything important, and we always kept it light. It was too easy to slide into the comfortable way we had before.

 

For the next two weeks that was the way it went. I sat with them at lunch and laughed more than I had in years. Then I went to his house after school and hung out for a few hours. It was nice and peaceful. I still hadn’t figured out what I was going to make him do though, and it was making him nervous.

Finally I found something. I had been sitting in choir reading at the end of class, when Will sat down next to me. It was something he always did after the class was done. He glanced at me a few times nervously. I sighed and turned to him.

“Spit it out” I said and he let out a breath he had been apparently holding.

“Okay so there’s this party. It’s this weekend and it’s mostly the music department. Everyone gets together in someone’s basement or garage and just plays music. It’s a lot of fun and a great way to practice without being judged.”

“And?”

“And well I was wondering if you would go with me. Just as friends of course.” he added quickly. “But none of the guys will go with me. They say it’s too corny.”

“Have any of them ever gone?”

“No they all refuse. That’s why I was hoping you might consider it.” I thought for a moment.

“Zeke doesn’t like it?” I asked. He shook his head.

“No he’s the worst about making fun of it.” I nodded.

“Bet you ten bucks I can get him to go.” I said with a burst of inspiration. He laughed.

“You’re on!” he answered and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me.

“Here are all the details. I’m going to go think about what I’m going to spend your money on.” he walked away laughing. I slipped the paper into my pocket and smiled. This was going to be fun.

 

When I got home I changed out of my work clothes and went down for dinner. We ate quietly and Kristi sulked. Apparently Sara had had to scold her for something. When everyone was almost done I decided it was the best time to ask.

“Umm there’s a party this Saturday. It’s basically all of the kids in the music department at school. They’re meeting in some guy’s garage, and I was wondering if it was okay if I went?” I looked just in time to catch them exchanging a glance. I held my breathe until Koner finally turned to me.

“Will there be drinking?” he asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t know”

“Aren’t there usually drinking at parties?” Sara asked me suspiciously.

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been to a party before.” Koner nodded like his thought was confirmed, while Sara looked stricken with horror. She looked at Koner then back at me.

“Okay you can go.”

“What time will you be back?” Koner asked taking his last bite.

“What time do you want me back?”

“How about eleven.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. I nodded, but Sara made a sound in her throat looking at him expectantly. He sighed and looked back at me.

“Alright what about two?” he asked her. She smiled then winked at me as she turned to carry some dishes into the kitchen.

“I’m more than willing to be back by eleven.” I told Koner when she was out of the room. He shook his head.

“No she’s right. You’re young and you need to start acting like it. Go out. Have a good time. Have a normal teenage night for a change. You’ll be better off for it.” I stared at him as he walked out of the room. After a minute I gathered the rest of the dishes and took them to the kitchen.

 

 

By Saturday I was on pins and needles. I knew how I was going to get Zeke to go though. I got ready in my shirt that was off my right shoulder and a pair of jeans. I opened my bedroom door to see a jacket hanging on the door knob on the other side. I picked it up to get a better look at it, and my breath hitched.

It was a beautiful leather jacket that went perfect with just about everything I owned. It went down to my hips and the sleeves covered my hands to the base of my fingers. It was heavy and perfect. I put it on and went to look at myself in the mirror.

It was lose in all the right places. It gave me freedom to move and never got in my way no matter which way I moved. From the front it opened up and gave a good preview of my torso. I buttoned it up and it hugged my waist and still showed my hips. It looked great. I frowned slightly as I realized that I would have to leave it behind when it came time for me to leave. But I planned on enjoying it while I could.

I took the stairs quickly and they were at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. Koner looked impressed and Sara beamed.

“I knew it would look amazing on you. It’s been getting cold at night and that hoodie would ruin any outfit you wore. So I went to the mall and this just screamed your name.”

“Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

“No need to thank me I was just trying to help.” I smiled at her and she folded me into a hug.

My hand touched her bare shoulder and I felt pressure building under my skin. I jumped and she squeezed tighter thinking I was trying to pull away. Suddenly I was in the yard with the young Sara again.

Normally when I was sucked into someone’s mind I still had my sense of self. It was like what it was. I was an outsider watching but not seen. Now it was different. As soon as I found myself in the yard everything flashed and I was looking at a hole in the ground that my hand was using a stick to dig.

Wait that wasn’t my hand it was a little girls hand. I was seeing everything from Sara’s point of view. My/ her head turned as the back door opened. I saw the woman. Sara’s mother and went through the familiar scolding.

I always felt the emotions the person felt when I was in their head, but this time it was ten times stronger. I felt the embarrassment of being caught doing something wrong. I felt the guilt of causing this woman extra work. I also felt the excitement of taking a bath again. I guess Sara really liked to take baths when she was little.

We walked into the house but paused to look up at her mom. Sara looked directly into her mother’s eyes and everything went black. I was now standing in a small school gym. I sighed with relief from no longer being in Sara’s body, only for that sigh to turn into a gasp. There was another blonde little girl on the stage at the front of the room.

I looked around to see parents and siblings sitting all around fanning themselves with bits of paper. I looked back to the girl. I walked to the front and got a closer look. It wasn’t Sara. The resemblance was uncanny, but I could see the slight differences. The hair was just a touch too blonde and there was a birthmark on her left cheek. I thought hard trying to figure out where I had seen it before. All of the breath rushed from my lungs when I remembered.

It was the same birthmark Sara’s mother had. I watched as the little girl played the part of the ghost of Christmas past. I looked out a nearby window and saw snow on the ground. I could feel how nervous the girl was and had a hard time shaking it.

All of a sudden it was the end of the play. Like someone hit chapter skip on a dvd player. All of the kids were taking their bows and then ran to their families. I followed the little girl and watched as she ran into a man’s arms. I didn’t pay much attention to him, but her mother was smiling proudly at her. To my surprise she had brown hair. I looked at her father and really took him in. He was blonde and big. He wasn’t fat. Just the opposite his size and shape rivaled Frank. After she got done hugging her father she turned to her mother and was swept up in another hug.

“Oh Celia you were great I’m so proud of you.”

Shift

“Cece!” I was standing in a dark bedroom and Celia was standing at the window. She opened it as softly as she could and leaned out. I walked over to her and looked down.

“Steve hold on.” she whispered out to him.

A young version of Sara’s father stood there with pebbles in his hand. The moon was full and he had flowers in his other hand. Celia giggled and crawled out the window. She made her way to the ground with an expertise that could only come from practice. She grabbed his hand and they ran off in the direction of a barn.

Shift

She was standing at an altar with Steve putting a ring on her finger.

Shift

She was in a hospital room looking down adoringly at a baby Sara.

Shift

She was scolding a three year old Sara for ruining her dress in the mud. The love she felt for Sara was almost palpable.

Shift

She was laying in a machine getting an MRI.

Shift

She was laying sick in bed with an eight year old Sara next to her with her head on her chest.

Shift

She was laying in another hospital room. This time there were tons of IV’s sticking out of her. The doctor was talking to Steve out in the hall, and a nine year old Sara sat in a chair next to her bed with quiet tears pouring down her face. While she clung to Celia’s hand.

Shift

She was laying in her bed at home. Her hair was thin and her skin was chalky. She was talking to Steve. It was late at night and her voice was weak. She told him how much she loved him and made him promise he would take care of Sara.

Shift

Sara was ten and standing next to her mother’s bed clutching her hand. Celia was trying to say something to her but couldn’t get the sound out. Finally her eyes closed and everything went dark.

I felt a sinking sensation as if I was being pulled down. I knew it wasn’t actually me so I let the feeling take me. Finally there was nothing.

Chapter 10

I stepped back from Sara and opened my eyes. I had to grab the banister to keep from falling. It was all I could do to stay on my feet. I was light headed and horrified. For obvious reasons I had never experienced anyone’s death before.

I kept my expression neutral and managed a smile at Sara. She smiled back apologetically.

“I didn’t mean to squeeze so hard”

“No you’re fine. I should get going. I don’t want to be too late.” I walked past them and out the door. I took a moment to take a deep breath. That had never happened before. I had never experienced the memories from a first person point of view. And I had certainly never jumped from one person’s mind to another’s through a memory.

I also couldn’t explain why it happened from touch. I had never had to worry about touching anyone before. I just didn’t like to touch people. It was one of my many quirks.

I went down the stairs and started walking over to Zeke’s. I knocked on the door and Rob answered. He smiled in surprise, but welcomed me in immediately. I heard a bunch of men talking in the kitchen so I motioned for him to go into the living room. He did as I asked obviously out of curiosity. I explained what I wanted and he laughed. He explained that he and Zeke had spent the day working with some friends on a small construction project. He told me I could find Zeke in the kitchen with the rest of them and I walked in that direction.

No body noticed me when I walked in. They were all gathered around laughing about something one of them had said. They were all dressed in old torn clothes and various things covered them. Some had saw dust and sweat and some had paint stained on their arms and shirts.

I spotted Zeke on the edge laughing with the rest. He was wearing a wife beater that showed the muscles on his arms and shoulders. He was one of them that had saw dust covering him. I had to admit that he looked good. Too good. I had a hard time breathing.

Rob cleared his throat behind me and everyone turned. Zeke straightened up in surprise.

“Rayne. What are you doing here?” he asked and the guys made ooh and ahh sounds.

“Get cleaned up we’re leaving.” I told him. He walked over to me and I had to look up to see his face.

“Where are we going? I didn’t forget anything again did I?” he asked with worry. I smiled at him.

“No we’re going to a party.” he looked relieved and then confused.

“Who’s having a party tonight?”

“I can’t remember his name, but Will invited me.” he groaned.

“Not that music nerd thing.”

“Excuse me?” I asked in mock offense. He back tracked quickly.

“I didn’t mean that it’s just that it’s mostly for the music people, and I’m not a music person.”

“You don’t like music?” I asked expectantly.

“Of course I do.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I’m not in band or choir or anything.”

“So? I was told it’s an open invitation.”

“Well yeah, but-” he paused and gave me a pleading look. “Please don’t make me go.” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“You owe me.” he looked guiltily at the floor. “And I do want to go. I just don’t want to go alone. So go get ready I’ve got ten bucks, and my pride riding on this.” he stared at me for a moment and I made shooing gestures at him. “Well go hurry up.” he sighed and turned to go up to his room to change.

I turned to see Rob and his friends barely holding in their laughter. He gave me a thumbs up and I laughed. I waited for about ten minutes until he finally came back downstairs. He must have taken a quick shower, because his hair was damp. He had his traditional black shirt and blue jeans on. He gestured toward the door and I went out ahead of him. We climbed into his car and he turned to me.

“Why am I driving again?” I pulled out the paper with the address on it and handed it to him.

“Because I don’t know how to get there.” he looked at the paper and sighed. He started the engine with hunched shoulders.

“Oh cheer up I’m sure you’ll have fun.”

“What did you mean you had ten bucks riding on this?” he asked as he turned the corner.

“You’ll see.” I answered with a smile, and turned to look out the window and keep track of where we were.

We arrived at the house about ten minutes later. The main house was quiet, but the garage was well lit and I could see people walking around inside and out in the driveway. I could hear the music and had a jolt of excitement. This wasn’t something I’d ever done. He found a place to park and we climbed out.

We walked up to the party but Zeke kept dragging his feet. I couldn’t stop smiling. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled.

“Come on I’m not going to spend the night waiting for you to take baby steps inside.” he sighed again and picked his pace up to normal speed.

We walked into the garage and I could see a band set up on a make shift stage. The people playing were all people I recognized from this class or that. But as I looked around I knew half the people from choir. Will saw me from across the room as the band was changing players and a different singer took the stage.

Will approached and stopped in shock when he saw Zeke.

“You’ve got to be kidding me! How did you do it?” I had my hand held out and he put a ten in it. I pocketed the money and smiled.

“He owed me a favor. Told you I’d get him here.” Zeke stood there staring at us with an open mouth. He snapped it shut and glared at us.

“You made a bet for whether or not you could get me here?” he asked me.

“Uh huh” he shook his head and the band caught my attention. They started playing Bruno Mars’ ‘Just The Way You Are’. The band was great and the vocalist really knew what he was doing. “Wow” I muttered and Will smiled at me.

“It’s awesome isn’t it?” I nodded and he chuckled. “Do you guys want something to drink.” I shook my head and pulled a bottle of water out of my pocket.

“Yeah is there any beer?” I shot him a disgusted look. I hated beer. Will shook his head.

“Nope sorry this is a parent funded party.” Zeke grunted and decided he’s have a water.

We stayed to the back and listened to the band play a couple more songs. I was really enjoying myself and I looked over at Zeke. He had relaxed and his foot was tapping to the beat. He probably wouldn’t admit it, but I could tell he was having a good time.

Will walked up to me and leaned in so I could hear him.

“Hey Rob told me you know how to play the piano.” I nodded and he continued. “I’d like to sing ‘For The First Time’ by The Script, but no one knows the piano part. Do you?” I thought for a minute first I had to get the tune in my head. Most of the time if I’d heard the part I can play it. When I had it firmly in my head I nodded. He smiled really big and motioned for me to follow him. I took my jacket off and handed it to Zeke, and did as Will asked.

We walked up to the stage and he signaled the singer. He nodded and after they finished the song they were playing they all got down off the stage. After they were down Will and a few other guys climbed up. One took the drums and another took the guitar. Will urged me up and I climbed up to look at the piano. It was actually a key board but sounded just as good. It had a microphone above it and I nodded to Will that I was ready.

 

 

 

 

Zeke

 

 

 

I watched as she climbed up on stage. I was actually really surprised. I had expected her to stay in back and just listen. When she was settled at the key board she nodded to Will. All of the guys on stage looked to her. She took a deep breathe and started playing.

Will started to sing and the crowd cheered. I watched as she played and saw a smile start to spread across her face. One of the guys backed Will up on part of the vocals and then backed off when he was supposed to. Then all of a sudden she started singing with him. She didn’t go over him she just joined in when he needed it. He was right she had a beautiful voice. He looked at her in surprise, but didn’t break from the song just smiled at her.

After the song was over and everyone was clapping she started to walk off the stage, but the guy on the drums stopped her after a look from Will. He handed her a microphone and she looked back on him in confusion. A guy with a violin walked up on the stage effectively cutting off any escape she had.

He started playing and looked down at her. She watched his hands for a second listening to him. Then she put the microphone up to her mouth and started singing. I recognized the song. ‘Give Your Heart A Break’ by Demi Lovato. A few girls climbed up quickly and started singing back up for her. She turned to the crowd and started to really get into the song. She moved to the beat and singing with real feeling throwing herself into the music.

I had seen her angry, and embarrassed, and even mostly happy. As happy as she seemed able to be anyway. But this is the first time I had ever seen her glow. She let herself go for the first time and it was like she was a totally different person.

When that song was over she tried to hand off the microphone, but no one would take it. Someone brought her a stool and the guy that had been playing the guitar whispered something into her ear. She nodded at whatever he had said, and sat down on the stool.

The guy on the key board started playing and she flowed with him into a different song. Again it was something I recognized. ‘Dark Side’ by Kelly Clarkson. This time her singing was a little different. She closed her eyes and put her whole being into it.

It was almost like she was singing to someone, and at the same time she was singing to everyone. Not just singing for them. Her whole body shifted with the beat and I swear I had never seen that much passion from anyone.

When the song was over the crowd tried to make her sing another. This time she refused and left the stage making her way back to me. She walked up still glowing from her time on stage.

I stared at her. I had never seen anyone as beautiful as she was right then. She took her jacket back and pulled her bottle of water out drinking half of it in one go. We stayed for another couple hours then she decided she was ready to go.

We went to a small twenty four hour diner and grabbed something small to eat. She never stopped smiling, and the glow never faded. If she was like this every time she chose where we went. I would take wherever she wanted to go whenever she wanted to go.

Finally I parked my car back in my driveway. I could see the light in the kitchen was still on so I knew my dad and his friends were still up. I walked her to her door and she was still filled with so much energy she hopped up the steps one at a time. I laughed at her and she turned to me.

“What’s so funny?” she asked smiling so I knew I hadn’t upset her.

“You”

“What’s funny about me?” she cocked her head to the side and she reminded me of a curious little girl.

“I don’t know. I wish I had known you could sing like that though.” she shrugged me off.

“It’s not that impressive.”

“Are you crazy? That was amazing, and not something that can be learned. That was all you not some out there foster home experience.” She calmed down and I worried I had said the wrong thing again. Her smile softened and became solely for me.

“Thank you” she said softly. I don’t know what came over me. It could have been the way she looked with her shirt off one shoulder and jeans that hugged her waist and hips. I could say it was the way she was looking at me, or the way she spoke. But if I were being honest I would say that I had been wanting to do it for a long time.

I stepped closer to her and for the first time she didn’t back away. I leaned down and touched my lips to hers. She stiffened for a moment then relaxed into the kiss. We weren’t touching anywhere else but our lips, and though my skin was humming from being so close to her I had no desire to delve into her soul. She opened her mouth slightly to take a breath and I took advantage. I matched her movement and deepened the kiss. I felt her gasp against me, and I had never felt anything so wonderful, so important. I lingered for longer than I should have. Finally I pulled back just a little. Enough so that we weren’t touching, but still close enough that I could feel her breath on my face. We both took several deep breaths.

“Good night” I whispered and stepped back. Her eyes were wide as she looked back at me and I turned to go back to my house. I was halfway there when I heard her front door open and close. Only then did I risk a look back. The house was quiet and I couldn’t tell what was going on inside. I reached my front door and looked back again. I saw the light turn on in her bedroom window and the curtain shifted. I smiled up at her and then walked into my house.

My dad was waiting for me in the hallway and he had just a big grin I knew he had been watching. I rolled my eyes and went up to my room. I fell asleep thinking about that kiss and wondering what it meant.

Chapter 11

Rayne

 

 

 

I sat in my window seat and wondered how I could be so stupid. I had seen the kiss coming, and had even wanted it, but that didn’t excuse the fact that it never should have happened. I should have kept him at arms length like I had originally planned when our friendship started.

I couldn’t let it go any further than that. I didn’t want to go through what I always did when my time ran out at a home. Not with him. I was in real danger of truly falling for him. I couldn’t go through having to leave and in turn leaving him behind.

In a way I had gotten lucky with Chase. I had thought I was in love with him, but when it came down to it I only really loved the feeling of being loved. When it came to Chase I had no problem breaking up with him and leaving him behind.

I had to put my boundaries back up with Zeke or I would lose a lot more than a comfortable room and nice clothes. I only wished I knew what he really wanted and felt. I didn’t know what he expected.

I took a shower and went to bed. I thought maybe I would feel a little more clear on my situation in the morning.

 

Unfortunately I was wrong. I didn’t feel any better the next morning. In fact I felt worse. It sickened me that I had to push him away when he was the only one I had truly let get close. I sat up in bed and shook my head. I had a lot of issues that no amount of counseling could fix.

I spent my Sunday in my room. Zeke called a few times but I ignored them. He tried texting, but I wouldn’t answer them either. Finally that afternoon Sara came up to my room.

“Hey Zeke is downstairs he wants to talk to you.” I sighed.

“I don’t really feel up to talking to him right now.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m just tired and not really feeling well.”

“Okay I’ll send him away then. Let me know if you need anything.” I nodded and she left. I watched out my window as he walked back to his house. His shoulders were hunched and I felt a more than just a little twinge of guilt. I wanted to call him back, and tell him I was sorry that I would talk to him. But if I was going to get out of this house alive I had to put some distance between us.

 

The next day at school I treated him more like an acquaintance instead of the close friend he had become. I threw myself into my school work and pretended that he was just an annoying bug that wouldn’t leave me alone.

At lunch I took a seat between Will and Jacob. I earned a few confused looks and a hurt one from Zeke, but I ignored them.

After work I went straight home and stayed in my room for the rest of the night. Zeke tried texting me a few more times, but I ignored him. A little after eight someone knocked on the front door. I heard a bit of excitement and thought I was safe to go downstairs to figure out what was going on.

Rob was standing in the entryway with Zeke standing a little way behind him looking sullen. Will was with them bouncing with excitement. I was about to turn around and sneak back upstairs when Rob noticed me.

“Oh Rayne good I was about to call for you. I have some great news. Come down here and I’ll explain.” I finished my way down the stairs and he led us into the living room. He spread out a brochure on the coffee table and we gathered around to look at it.

“This is a banquet that hosts all of the important and successful business men in Green County.”

“What does this have to do with us?” Koner asked standing at Sara’s shoulder.

“You’re a successful business man aren’t you?” Rob asked with a smile.

“Successful: sort of, important: not so much.”

“You provide an important service to many customers, and you have formed quite a reputation.”

“He’s right. In every town I’ve lived in, in this county everyone knows about your shop.” I added. Rob shot me a grateful look and I could see Zeke behind him staring at me. I dropped my eyes back to the brochure swallowing hard.

“Exactly that’s why you and your entire family is invited.” Koner and Sara looked up at him in surprise.

“That’s not the best part though.” Will said bouncing on the balls of his feet. He was looking at me and I shot him a questioning look. His grin grew and he took a deep breath. “The parents of that guy that hosted the party last weekend heard us play. They want us to play at the banquet.”

“Who?” I asked confused. A lot of people played and sing that night. How did they know who was who?

“Us. You, me, Chris, and Mike.” I must have looked as confused as I felt because he sighed. “You singing, me on the guitar, Chris on the keyboard, and Mike on the drums. We might even get Jerry. The guy that played the violin for that one song you sang.” I stared at him for a moment stunned then I felt the smile start and spread across my face. If I could feel like I did that night at the party again I would die happy. I had never felt so alive and free. He answered my smile with one of his own and Rob went on with the explanation.

“Now I helped set it up and made sure to add your names to the invite list. I have it with me if you want a sneak peak.” he said with a wink and handed it to Koner. He looked it over and handed it to Sara. When she was done she handed it to me and I started reading down the list. About half way down I dropped it and took several steps back.

Rob picked it up and looked at me worried. Everyone faced me with various looks of confusion.

“I can’t do it. I can’t go and I can’t sing I’m sorry.” I said quickly.

“But why not?” Sara asked.

“I just can’t. Go without me.” Zeke stepped forward looking at me closely.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing” I answered looking at the floor.

“You’re a terrible liar.” he said harshly, but he also said it as a challenge. The way he was standing. Leaning toward me as if to offer help if I wanted it is what encouraged me to explain. I walked forward slowly and took the list back from Rob touching it as little as possible.

I put it carefully on the table and sat down in front of it. I pointed at the names that had shocked me. They stood out for me now and I felt like I could point them out even if my eyes were closed.

“My parents.” I said quietly. Everyone leaned in to read the names I had pointed out. Rob looked confused.

“I don’t understand” he said tentatively.

“My biological parents will be attending.”

“But your last name is Nyght not Woods.” Zeke said leaning over my shoulder to read. His closeness was both a comfort and a distraction.

“Now. It was Woods until I had Jack change it when I was seven. It took a lot of work, but he managed it. So I can’t go. I can’t be in the same room with them. Especially since they could look right at me and not know who I am.”

Everyone was silent for a few minutes. I never took my eyes off my hands which were folded in my lap. Zeke walked around the couch and sat down next to me giving me the space I needed. I felt everyone staring at me.

“You need to go.” Zeke said suddenly. I turned to face him.

“What?”

“You need to go. You won’t have to talk to them if you don’t want to, but you need to make them see you.”

“But that’s just it. They won’t. I would get up on that stage and all they would see is some girl they had never met in their life.”

“That’s why we should introduce you by your original last name. They would have no choice but to know it’s you. They would have to sit there and watch as you captured the entire room with that amazing voice of yours. And they will know how much they screwed up and missed out on.”

“I agree” Rob said suddenly.

“So do I” Koner added. I looked at Sara and she nodded. I looked down and suffered from a bad case of indecision. Finally I nodded.

“Okay I’ll do it, but this is the last time I go by that name.” I swore more to myself than anyone in the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Zeke

 

 

 

Will shouted with joy and my dad smiled. Koner looked proud and Sara had tears in her eyes. I looked at Rayne and she seemed like she was in immense pain. I hurt for her, but then again I got a pain in my chest every time I looked at her. Especially since she’s seemed to push me aside.

I couldn’t figure it out. Why she would kiss me back like she did and then just shove me away. I couldn’t even get her alone in order to talk to her about it. When my dad said it was time to go I tried to pull her aside, but she just shrugged me off and went back upstairs without so much as a backward glance.

I sighed and followed my dad outside after getting a look of sympathy from Koner. When we were in the street Will turned to me.

“So what’s up with you and Rayne? You guys seemed like you were getting really close and then it’s like she can’t stand to be in the same room with you.” I gave him a pained expression and he looked away.

“I don’t know” I answered honestly. I had no clue what was up with me and Rayne. She seemed to be the only one that knew and she obviously wasn’t telling.

 

I waited by the door in my incredibly uncomfortable suit waiting for my dad to finish getting ready. Finally he was done and we walked out the door.

The banquet was being held in the high school gym. We walked in and the place was unrecognizable. I looked around and spotted Koner, Sara, and Kristi. We were supposed to sit with them, and Kristi stuck her tongue out at me when I sat down across from her. I didn’t know why she didn’t like me, but it was getting annoying.

My dad and the Keely’s made quiet conversation when someone walked up to the microphone on the stage.

“Good evening. I know you all want to get along to the meal, but we decided to offer you a treat. The students here at the high school are our near future. And we felt it would do a lot of good to honor them. So we’ve picked out the most talented and have them perform for you. I hope you enjoy.” he held his arm out to the right and the band walked out on the stage. My breath caught when I caught site of Rayne.

She was wearing an elegant black dress that came down to just a few inches above her knees. She wore knee high boots with silver chains going across the sides. The dress had a scoop neck that showed off her shoulders and long, slender neck. Her hair was down with one side of it pinned back. She was stunning.

“It’s my pleasure to introduce Rayne Woods, William Spelt, Jerry Blanchard, Michael Pelerine, and Christopher Patton.”

I scanned the crowd watching for anyone’s reaction to Rayne’s former last name. I wasn’t disappointed. Three tables over a couple both jumped and turned to the stage in surprise. The man was tall but lean. He had dark brown hair just a shade lighter than Rayne’s. The woman had red hair, but it looked fake. She had Rayne’s build and bone structure though.

I watched as Rayne took the microphone. I could see her hands shaking and tried to will her more confidence. She looked at me and I nodded my encouragement. She stood up taller and brought the microphone up closer to her.

Will started on the guitar and Mike joined in on the drums softly. Rayne flowed into the song smoothly. The song choice was genius. ’Tell You Something’ by Alicia Keys. When she reached the chorus she looked right at her undeserving parents. They were transfixed by her performance and trapped by her gaze.

After the song was over they switched to a different song after just a few seconds. The next song was just as good. ’Dark Side’ by Kelly Clarkson again. When their performance was over everyone cheered. The announcer reappeared and told everyone it was time to eat.

Rayne walked by her parents table without so much as a glance and sat down next to Kristi. Sara and Koner congratulated her on the performance and Sara gushed over her talent. Rayne smiled and endured it then sighed with relief when the food interrupted them.

 

 

By the end of the night I was bored out of my mind and from the look on her face so was Rayne. Finally it was over and we all got up to leave. Rayne was the last to walk out of the room and I was right in front of her. About half way down the hall someone called her name.

I turned to see who it was. She was about ten feet away from me and facing the couple that was approaching her. It was her parents. Her back straightened, her shoulders pulled back, and her head was held high. When they got close enough to her they took a moment to look her over.

“My god you’ve grown up beautifully.” her mother said softly.

“Am I to assume you two got remarried?” Rayne asked in an emotionless voice. Her mother winced.

“Yes, we managed to work out our differences not long after-” she cut herself off, but Rayne had no problem finishing her sentence.

“After you abandoned me.” They both winced and her father took a deep breath.

“Rayne we are so-” this time she interrupted him.

“You know. For years I used to lye awake wondering what you would say to me if I ever saw you again. Now… well now I realize that I don’t care. You mean nothing to me anymore. I have so many things that I can do for myself, and I just don’t need you. So tonight while your laying there thinking about tonight. About how I look and sound, and about how talented I am. I want you to think about that little six year old girl that you left in an empty church on a Saturday morning. About how much that little girl needed and loved you. And then think about how you mean nothing to your own daughter. How she’s moved on and thinks very little of you. How you ruined everything you could have had.” she started to turn but her mother grabbed her arm. She shrugged her off easily.

“Now that is not fair.”

“Save it. I’m not interested.” she started to walk away again, but stopped mid turn. She turned back to them and leaned in closer whispering something to them. Her mother took a step back in shock and turned to her father. Who was looking at her with a face red with rage. He walked away and her mother turned to run after him, but only after giving her daughter a frightened look.

Rayne turned around and saw me standing there. She gave me a small uneasy smile and walked past me without a word.

 

I got out of the car just as they pulled into their driveway. I watched them start to walk toward the house and made a split second decision. I ran across the street and stopped Rayne before she could walk in after the others. The door closed on it’s own and she turned to me.

“What do you want Zeke?” she asked in a tired voice. My heart skipped as she said my name and it filled me with anger.

“That’s a very good question. What I want is to know why in the hell you’ve suddenly decided I’m beneath your notice.” Her eyes widened slightly but not in surprise.

“I can’t do this right now.” she said turning toward the door. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

“Right now is when you have to do it. I deserve some kind of explanation. You can’t just kiss me like that and then decide I don’t matter.” she sighed and rubbed her eyes.

“It was just a kiss Zeke.”

“So it didn’t mean anything?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean? Either it didn’t mean anything or it did. There’s really no gray area here.”

“Yes it meant something. It meant allot. It meant too much.”

“What do you mean it meant too much?” She dropped her hands and they hit her sides with an audible thud.

“I can’t afford this! I can’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“Get involved.”

“With anyone?”

“With you. It’s too dangerous. It could go too far and I can’t go through that. Not again.”

“Go through what? You’re not making any sense.”

“I can’t get too attached. With anyone. Even as much as I love Kristi there’s a chance that I’ll never see her again and it tears me apart. I can’t do that with you too.”

“What do you mean you might not see her again. You live with her.”

“Yeah now, but what happens when I leave? What then?”

“Why would you leave?”

“I would leave because eventually Sara and Koner will either get tired of me or get too scared to keep me around. It happens every time. Now can’t we just go back to being regular friends?” she asked with a large amount of desperation.

“No we can’t. That ship has sailed.”

“Then I’ll say goodbye now.” she turned to walk away and I growled in frustration. I grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her back around. Still gripping her I pushed my lips to hers. Hard. She tried to squirm away, but I wouldn’t let her. Instead I pushed harder. Not with my hands or mouth, but with my mind.

I shoved my way past her defenses and sank into her soul. I traveled through her memories and experiences. Everything that made her who she is. I pushed until I was at the beginning.

I watched as her mother put her in a pew. As she stood at the window and watched her drive away. She laid down on the pew and cried.

Shift

She was in her first home and the man crawled into bed with her.

Shift

She was seven and sat studying by flashlight after everyone had gone to bed.

Shift

She was buying her necklace with a little red haired girl.

Shift

She was laying awake crying as she looked at a picture of the girl that she bought the necklaces with.

Shift

She sat in a garage listening to a man teach her how to work on a car.

Shift

She was in a martial arts class while a police officer watched her from a corner.

Shift

She was learning how to ride a horse.

Shift

She was sitting at a piano with a strict looking man next to her.

Shift

She was in a ballet class.

Shift

She was playing tennis with a teenage guy trying her hardest to keep up with the ball.

Shift

She was laying on a table while a man put the tattoo on her back.

Shift

She was curled up in a closet trying to stay calm.

Shift

She was cleaning a house with a young woman laying on a couch watching TV.

Shift

She was laying in a bunk bed in a room with six other children.

Shift

She was making a baby’s bottle.

Shift

She was mowing someone’s lawn.

Shift

She was carrying wood into a house.

Shift

She was standing in front of a man that had been beating a five year old boy.

Shift

She was sleeping in a bed with a two year old Kristi.

Shift

She was standing in a cafeteria with Chase standing there red in the face.

Shift

She was standing in the bedroom that she slept in now with only two duffel bags of possessions.

Shift

She was introducing Kristi to Sara and Koner.

Shift

She was kissing me on the porch.

Shift

She was facing down her parents.

I felt the pain, confusion, desperation, and fear in each and every one of them. I felt them as if they were my own. I was used to feeling the residual effects of the visions, but nothing this potent. It was if I was there and feeling every bit of it with her.

Now I understood why she kept everyone at a distance. I knew why she pushed anyone away that got to close. She was just protecting herself. And I had essentially attacked her.

I opened my eyes and pulled away. We were both kneeling on the porch and she was leaning against me for support. We were both breathing heavily and she stared at me wide eyed. I was about to apologize for everything when she pushed me away violently. She brought the back of her hand to her mouth.

“What did you do?” she asked in a whisper. I stared at her. She wasn’t supposed to know that I had done anything. I watched her closely and noticed she was shaking horribly.

“You saw it too?” I asked in awe.

“Every excruciation moment. It was bad enough the first time. But forcing me to live through it a second time all at once is cruel.” she said and her eyes filled with tears and she blinked them away. I felt a terrible twist of guilt in my gut.

“How did you see any of it. You weren’t even supposed to know.” she glared at me and stood. I mimicked her actions without thought. I was still struck by her being able to go through it again.

“Get away from me. Don’t talk to me. Don’t even look at me. You are dead to me.” she said venomously and went inside closing the door firmly behind her. I heard the lock slide home and turned to walk back to my house.

I walked into the house and saw my dad waiting for me like I knew he would be.

“So how did it go? Did you figure out why she was ignoring you?” he asked conversationally.

“Unfortunately” I answered. He took in my expression and straightened up.

“You didn’t” he said quietly. I nodded and he swore. I had only heard him swear a few times in my life.

“How could you do that? If you had just stayed persistent she would have come around.”

“No she wouldn’t of. She was doing it so that she didn’t get hurt when it came time for her to leave.” he sighed.

“Then you should have done what she asked.”

“There’s more”

“What?”

“She saw it.”

“She saw it?”

“Yeah. She took the trip with me. She saw and relived everything that I saw. And I felt everything harder and more clear than ever before. It was like it was all happening to me. God I have never felt that much pain in my life.” I sighed and sank down on the couch. He plopped down in the chair across from me and stared for a couple minutes.

“Everything?” he asked and I nodded.

“But that means it was like she was living it all over again in one dose. That must have been horrible.” he whispered. I nodded again. We sat in silence for a while until I got up to go to bed. I felt completely drained. I was lucky I made it up the stairs, and to my bed.

Chapter 12

Rayne

 

 

 

I woke up with a major headache and my body feeling like lead. It had been two days, and I wondered when the side effects of Zeke’s trip down my memory lane would last. It was terrible. Living every one of my worst memories all over again. It wasn’t buffered the way it usually was when I did it to someone else, and I never took them with me. I didn’t even know it was possible.

I didn’t bother thinking about how he did it or what else he could do. The fact that he did it to me was enough to earn my hatred. And it infuriated me that I didn’t hate him. I was angrier at him than I’ve ever been in my life, but I couldn’t bring myself to hate him.

I groaned as I rolled out of bed and started getting ready for school. I didn’t have the energy to braid my hair so I just tied it back at the nape of my neck. I took me two tries to pick up my bag, but I finally managed to get it up to my shoulder.

I stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen. Sara offered me breakfast, but I declined. The smell of food made me nauseous. I drank some water then said my goodbyes.

I could barely see as I drove to school. The sun was too bright. Even on a late November morning. I made it to the parking lot and parked. I sighed with relief as I turned off the ignition and climbed out.

I walked into my first class just as the second bell rang. I laid my head down and fell asleep. The bell woke me and I sleep walked to my next class. I walked in and my eyes went instinctively to Zeke. He was asleep at his desk. I felt an odd sense of happiness. At least I wasn’t the only one that was suffering. I sat down and repeated my actions from my first class.

When I walked into physics Zeke was sitting at our table with his head back. Mr. Holmes greeted me and I smiled in response. When he heard my name Zeke looked up at me. I ignored him and continued to my seat. When I sat down I laid my head on my arms with my head turned away from him. He didn’t say anything or try to get my attention, and I took it as a good sign.

By the time the day was over I was dead on my feet. I went to my locker to put my books up. There was no way I was going to be able to do any work for the next couple of days. Koner already excused me until I felt better. I pulled my travel container of Advil from my locker and took three more. It hadn’t worked yet but I was still optimistic.

A flutter caught my eye and I looked at the inside of my locker door. There was a piece of paper taped to it and I pulled it off quickly. I unfolded it and read what was written on it. I must have read it five times before it finally stuck.

My breathing came faster and my heart pounded. I folded it quickly and shoved it in my pocket. I slammed my locker door shut and went to my car as quickly as I could manage.

I went to bed as soon as I got home, but couldn’t sleep. Finally it was time to eat and I forced myself to swallow some of it. I couldn’t eat much, but I felt a little better after I had had something in my stomach.

At about eight o’clock I couldn’t stand it anymore. The note was still in my pocket and I was always conscious of it. I went downstairs and told them I had to speak to Zeke for a minute. I didn’t give them a chance to answer and I grabbed my jacket and walked out the door.

As I walked to Zeke’s I started getting angry. With each step I took I could feel my rage rising. I didn’t bother to knock on the door. I just walked in and heard them in the dining room. I slammed the door closed and practically ran in their direction pulling the note out at the same time.

I burst into the room just as they were starting to get up. Rob had an empty plate in front of him, but it looked like Zeke had barely touched his. I crossed to the table in two long strides and slammed the note down on the table.

“Was this you? Did you do this?” I demanded sliding the note across the table to him. Rob looked like he had expected me, but Zeke looked so confused I almost felt guilty. Almost. He picked up the note and read it carefully. Two or three times.

“What is this?” he asked quietly. I pulled my Advil out and grabbed his glass of water to take them.

“You tell me. I found it taped to the inside of my locker this afternoon.” he shook his head with his eyes wide.

“I don’t know. I didn’t do this. It’s not even my handwriting.” I sighed and dropped into a chair putting my face in my hands. I looked up at him and saw that he had put each of his hands at his temples. I tossed my Advil on the table in front of him and he shot me a grateful look as he picked it up.

“Don’t get too hopeful. It hasn’t helped me yet and I’ve been taking it for two days.” he took four of them anyway.

From the corner of my eye I saw Rob pick up the note and read it. I had almost forgotten he was there. He scanned the words, and put the paper back on the table. Apparently he didn’t need to read it multiple times to get what it said. He leaned back and sighed.

I was rubbing the back of my neck and Zeke was still holding his head. We made an interesting pair. Rob looked between the two of us for a moment then got up and left the room. We sat in silence for a couple minutes until Rob came back. He place a bottle in front of me and a bowl of something next to it.

I had to focus my eyes on it before I could tell what it was. If I hadn’t felt so bad I probably would have gasped. It was a bottle of tequila. He had placed two shot glasses, a plate of lime slices, and a salt shaker next to it. I looked up at him questioningly and he nodded.

“It will relax your muscles. Make you feel better.” I didn’t have the energy to argue so I grabbed a shot glass, the salt, and a lime slice. I took the shot quickly, and it went down smoothly. It was a good bottle.

Zeke took a seat closer to me and poured his own shot. After about three I sighed and felt myself starting to relax. I took one more for good measure, and settled back to wait for it to hit my head. I only had to wait for a couple of minutes. It was a very good bottle.

“I haven’t had tequila this good in years.” I said with a contented sigh. Rob raised a brow at me while he poured a shot for himself.

“And how much tequila have you had in your seventeen years of life.” he asked suspiciously. I shrugged. I was feeling better and relaxed. I didn’t mind sharing some stories.

“Quite a bit. I lived with an alcoholic once that forced us to drink, but I also lived with a very wealthy family. They were expensive drinkers, and never locked their liquor cabinet. I was curious. The alcoholic only got us cheap whiskey.” he grunted as he put another shot back.

“So what’s this mean?” he asked gesturing to the note that was still laying on the table. I glared at the table for a moment in silence while he waited for an answer. When he realized he wasn’t going to get one he sighed. “Okay I guess to get an answer I’ll have to give one.” I looked up at him curiously so far I had managed to keep from meeting his eyes, and I wasn’t so far gone that I would slip up now.

“Do you know what Zeke did the other night?” he asked and Zeke groaned grabbing the bottle again.

“I think the stiff muscles and pounding headache will say that I do.” I answered. He shook his head.

“Yes but do you actually know what it was that he did.” I hesitated then shook my head. The concept was familiar to me, but I didn’t know exactly what it was that he had done.

“It’s called soul reading.” Zeke answered with a slight slur. I had stopped drinking but he hadn’t. Rob glared at him. I grabbed the bottle out of Zeke’s hand, and put it out of his reach.

“Yes it’s called soul reading. With a touch a soul reader can push themselves into another person’s soul and see everything that person had gone through to make them the person they are. Our past is our past, but parts of it define who we are.” I sat up straighter.

“And how can a reader do it?” I asked finally getting a few answers I had been looking for more than most of my life.

“No one knows.” I sighed and slumped back, but he continued. “But what we have figured out is that it passes down the male line of a family. The woman can’t inherit it. Only the men can.” I thought about it for a moment and turned to Zeke.

“How did you bring me with you? Is that normal?” I asked. Zeke chuckled darkly.

“No it’s not normal. It’s never happened before. And even if I had known it was possible I wouldn’t have done it if I had known I would feel like this for days afterward.” he answered.

“Now you know our little secret. It’s time you told me something about what’s going on.” Rob said. I could feel his eyes boring into the top of my head and I looked down at my hands. I sighed and sat up straighter. He was right and fair was fair.

“I don’t know what it’s called, and I haven’t been able to find anything on it…ever. But ever since I was six when I looked someone directly in the eye I could see their memories. I can‘t control it and if I try to hold it back for too long I get seizures.” I finished quickly. Rob and Zeke were staring at me. Zeke in surprise and Rob looked like his suspicions had been confirmed.

“I thought as much. There is a name for that as well. It’s called soul searching. While we have to push our way in you get pulled in. We can learn control from the time it manifests, but there is no way for you to help it.” I slumped in defeat.

“There’s not?” I asked weakly. He gave me a look full of sympathy and shook his head.

“No I’m sorry. It’s your soul’s way of becoming familiar with someone. Of deciding whether or not they can be trusted. And unfortunately what Zeke said wasn’t entirely accurate. What happened between you two isn’t unheard of. It’s just really rare. It’s what happens when one of us tries to force our way into another’s soul that has a similar ability. I didn’t warn him because I wasn’t entirely sure if you were what I suspected or if your past dictated your actions.”

“Why does it happen?” Zeke asked suddenly very interested in the explanation.

“It was Rayne’s own defenses that did it. The reason it was so hard to reach her to begin with was because it was already very well defended. When you spend your life delving into another’s soul your own builds defenses against such an attack. In some ways it will cause you to have a seizure as the soul attacks you back. But in the strongest of soul searchers it takes a more complicated route. Instead of attacking it pulled you in, and forced you to live the worst moments as if they were your own experiences. The reason she took the trip with you was her own soul‘s way of alerting her to what you were doing.”

“You know a lot about this. Did you do it to someone else?” I asked. His expression turned to one of embarrassment.

“Yes. She was a very good friend of mine, but she kept me at a distance. My curiosity was killing me. So one day I took her hand. I went through her life with her, and by the end she was fit to be tied. She didn’t talk to me for a couple years.”

“How long do the aftereffects last?”

“Three days. By the day after tomorrow you’ll feel like new.” I nodded and grabbed the note. I didn’t read it. I knew what it said by heart.

I know what you are.

“Who could know?” I whispered.

“Is there anyone significant that you’ve searched since you’ve been here?” Rob asked. I shook my head.

“No the ones I have didn’t know it and I never said anything to alert anyone.”

“Then I don’t know. I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you go home and get some rest. I’ll make a phone call and see if I can’t find someone to help you. Take the bottle with you I have another one.” I nodded and slipped the bottle into the inside pocket of my jacket. It fit perfectly and if I held my arms just the right way you couldn’t tell it was there.

I walked home, and wasn’t intercepted as I made my way up to my room. I hid the bottle under my bed and changed my clothes. I fell asleep quickly completely exhausted.

 

The next day I woke up and rolled over to look at the clock. I blinked a few times to clear my vision. When I was finally able to see through my headache I gasped and jumped out of bed. I stood still clutching my head from the sudden movement. It was after ten o’clock I was very, very late for school. I went down stairs and found Sara in the kitchen washing the dishes from breakfast. She looked over at me and smiled. Not exactly the response I was expecting.

“What happened?” I asked in exasperation.

“I turned your alarm clock off last night. You just seemed so tired and sick I thought you could use a day off.” I sighed and leaned back against the counter. I nodded and went back up to bed.

Chapter 13

A couple hours later there was a soft knock on the door. It sounded like a sonic doom to me. I sat up just as Rob walked in.

I blinked at him in question and he looked at me in sympathy. He looked down at the floor to see the liquor bottle peeking out from under my bed. I had only risked a shot here and there, because Sara kept coming in to check on me. I looked up at him miserably.

“I thought you said it would get better.” I accused softly. He walked in and sat down in the desk chair.

“The last day is always the worst, but by tomorrow you’ll feel like it never happened.”

“I hope so because if it doesn’t I’m coming after you.” I said weakly. He chuckled softly.

“Come on. Get up and get dressed I have someone you really need to talk to.” I groaned and pulled a pillow over my head. He chuckled again and I felt him stand. “I know, but it’s important. I know you can do it.”

“Fine” I muttered into the pillow and I heard him leave closing the door softly behind him. I grunted as I got out of bed and made my way to my closet. I grabbed random clothes and dressed blindly. I slipped on a pair of shoes and grabbed the bottle from under my bed. I slipped it into my jacket and stumbled my way out of the house. Rob had already given Sara an excuse for my absence.

I walked into their house without bothering to knock. They were expecting me so I didn’t bother with manners for the first time in my life. Well the second as I didn’t care much for manners when I had stormed in the day before.

I found them in the living room and collapsed on the couch as far from Zeke as I could get since he was sitting on the other side of the couch. I pulled the tequila out and drank straight from the bottle. Zeke had a bottle of his own at his feet. He had his head laying on his arm and his eyes were closed. I studied him with narrowed eyes. His muscles were relaxed and his breathing was deep. He was sound asleep.

I reached over and smacked his shoulder. He jumped and turned bleary eyes on me.

“Wake up!” I snapped he winced at the loud sound of my voice and it made my head pound as well, but at that moment I felt it was worth it.

I heard a female voice chuckle and I turned to see a woman about Rob’s age sitting in one of the recliners. She had light brown hair that was just starting to turn gray, and a lot of laugh lines. She wore a light blue business suit that brought out her eyes.

It took a moment for me to realize I was making eye contact with her. I dropped my eyes, but not before I saw her pupils dilate completely. She gasped and her smile was replace by a look of pity.

“Oh you poor thing.” she whispered reaching for me. I pushed back into the couch out of reflex. I never like to be touched ever since the first home I was placed in. But lately every time I got within touching distance of someone my skin would hum, and I always wanted to reach out to touch them. I found that I can control it as long as I kept my hands to myself. Unfortunately it didn’t help if they touched me instead.

That’s what happened when I confronted my parents. As soon as they approached me I started to hum, but I stayed back just in case what happened with Sara happened again. But my mom grabbed me instead, and I got a very detailed show of all of her knew affairs. Some of them going back years.

She pulled back from my recoil and looked slightly disappointed.

“I’m sorry. I don’t really like to be touched.” I said softly. Zeke snorted and I turned to look at him. From the way he was looking at me he was thinking of our first kiss. “Especially recently” I added looking right at him and he looked away flushed. I turned back to the woman and saw her nodding slightly.

“That’s understandable.” she answered with a knowing look. I looked down at my feet and took another swig from the bottle that was still in my hand. “My name is Vera. I’m an old friend of Robert’s. In fact I remember very well going through how your feeling right now.” she said with an amused look at Rob. He looked away blushing slightly and something clicked in my head.

“You’re the friend that he did the same thing that Zeke did to me.” I said with realization. She nodded with a small smile.

“Yes. Now I understand that you might have some questions for me.” she said expectantly.

“You’re a soul searcher?” I asked hesitantly. She nodded.

“Yes.”

“Can you explain what that is?” I asked.

“Of course it’s the always best to start at the beginning. It really all starts with the saying, ‘The eyes are the windows to the soul’. As it turns out it’s true. A soul searcher can see into someone’s soul by looking into their eyes. It can be a complete stranger that you will probably never see again, but more often it’s someone that will stick around. Someone that will play a part in your life. It allows you to see the very core of a person. To see who they are without having to fight through their masks that allow them to blend in to society. It’s also a way for you to know who you can and can’t trust. A very handy gift and also a curse that can leave you to lead a very lonely life. The ability manifests somewhere around the sixth birthday. Although it actually starts at birth getting stronger as you get older. You are usually just strong enough to enter a soul by then. It starts off weak only seeing as far back as a few weeks at best, but as you get older your soul becomes stronger and the visions become more frequent. A person generally tops off between seventeen and eighteen when puberty is coming to an end.

Now Rob told me that he explained how the soul reader ability is passed from the male line in a family. It’s the opposite with searchers it’s passed from the female line. And where a male reader will always pass down the ability a searcher’s ability has a tendency to skip generations. It rarely passes from mother to daughter.” I nodded as she finished speaking and began muddling through everything she had said. I thought it through a few times then started in on the many questions I had.

“Is there any way to control it?” I asked I knew Rob had told me it couldn’t be, but I still had hope that he was wrong. She shook her head sadly.

“I wish it were but unfortunately not.” I sighed in defeat and went on to my next question.

“And the pressure? Is there anyway to alleviate it without using the ability?” That got Zeke’s attention and he started truly listening to the conversation. But again she shook her head.

“No I’m sorry. The pressure you feel is your own soul trying to reach another’s. As much as we might wish it, there is no way of controlling the soul. It wants what it wants.” this time I sighed in frustration. So far all she managed to give me is a back story. Everything else I already knew.

“So what about soul readers how can they control it?” I asked she turned to Rob and he was the one that explained.

“We have to rely on touch. A sort of physical connection to read someone. We have to be linked and force the reading. That provides us with a measure of control.”

“What about the traveling though generations is there any way to control that?” I asked looking back at Vera. When she gave me a confused look I started to get worried.

“What do you mean, ‘traveling through generations’?” she asked.

“Well I got sucked into Sara one time and instead of looking on as an audience I got sucked into her point of view. Then she looked up at her mother, and I was pulled into her. I saw all of her memories like I did Sara’s. When her mother died I was pulled back into Sara and then back to myself.” everyone was quiet and staring at me for a moment. “Isn’t that normal?” I asked nervously.

“No, no that’s not normal. You were pulled into a person from someone else’s memory?” she asked astounded I nodded and waited for her to snap out of it.

“Has it happened more than once?” she asked I shook my head. “Okay when you were pulled back into Sara did you finish out her memories?” I shook my head again.

“No I had already gone through hers before.” Vera’s eyes widened.

“That was the second time you were pulled into her?” I nodded not liking where this was going and wishing I had kept quiet.

“How was the second time different? What were the circumstances?” she was sitting forward and watching me intently. I pulled back frightened by her intensity.

“Well she hugged me, and my body started to tingle really bad. It was like I was humming. My hand landed on her shoulder and I was pulled in.” She stared at me unblinking. I looked to Rob for some kind of reassurance, but he was staring too. I turned to Zeke, but his mouth fell open with a pop.

“What?” I finally asked after a minute or two. Vera relaxed back, Rob cleared his throat, and Zeke snapped his mouth shut.

“You just described something very similar to what a reader feels when a desire to read someone comes.” Rob explained quietly. It was my turn to stare. I put the bottle to my lips and tipped it back finishing it off. When it was empty I sat up and put it on the table. I took a deep breath and focused back on Rob.

“What do you mean something similar?” I asked.

“The first time a reader well reads someone it’s not voluntary. We can’t control it. After that we learn to recognize the feeling, and can hold off.” I nodded and motioned for him to keep going. “A lot of the time the feeling is exactly what you described. A vibrating or humming just under the skin. Sometimes it’s a random person, but most of the time it’s someone that ultimately becomes important some way or another. But we can choose what we want to see and we always see it from a third person point of view. We still feel what the person feels, but it’s buffered.” I looked at my hands which were balled in my lap.

“Okay that explains a lot but since I’m obviously not a male why can I do it? And for that matter why am I able to jump into someone in a memory?” Vera and Rob looked at each other.

“Well I’m only speculating, but it seems that your family skipped a lot of generation.” Vera answered slowly. I looked at her in confusion.

“What does that matter?”

“The more generations the ability skips the more powerful the descendant becomes. I’ve never known it to skip more than three generation, but it looks like it skipped more than that with you. It would make sense. Especially given that your mother reacted the way that she did. If the last soul searcher in your family was a long distance ancestor it would be easy for the secret to die long before the ability resurfaced.”

“That still doesn’t explain my reader abilities.”

“The only thing I can come up with is that your last searcher ancestor had a reader’s child. But it’s never been heard of before.”

“Why not?” Again they exchanged a look that left me ready to pull my hair out.

“It’s feared. No one knew what the result might be. Until now it seems. It looks like the male and female lines became insignificant, and it would also explain the many generations that was skipped. The ability would have to wait for a soul strong enough to handle the extra power.” Vera answered hesitantly. I thought back to my family tree and another question popped into my head.

“What happens if the soul isn’t strong enough?” Rob took a deep breath.

“The power would be too strong, and the soul would shred.”

“What does that mean?”

“When a soul is shredded the person becomes unstable. No one can function with only pieces of a their soul. Most of the time they are diagnosed as clinically insane and spend their lives in a mental institution. That’s the best result anyway. At worst they’re suicidal and take their own lives. Even if they are institutionalized they die young though. When the soul isn’t whole the pieces slowly start to die. They always die young, depending on when their soul is shredded.”

“What do you mean when? I though this kind of thing happened at birth.”

“Well soul searchers and readers aren’t the only breeds out there. There’s also the soul shredders. They have the ability to tear someone’s soul to pieces, and often lose their conscience after they use that ability too many times.” I gaped at them in horror.

“How do they do it?”

“Unlike searchers and readers they have to actually draw blood. They have to break the skin in order to gain access to their target. And after a few years they begin to enjoy it. They get a rush of power with every soul they ruin. It’s like a high from a drug they don’t have to ingest in one way or another. They get a sick feeling of pleasure from it.” Zeke sighed and rubbed his head.

“Can someone please explain to me again how I was drawn into her memories like I was. I mean I don’t understand how I was able to feel everything first hand and yet still look on as a bystander.” Vera gaped at him then looked at me in shock.

“What?” I asked looking Rob who looked just as confused by her reaction as I was. “Rob said it was normal.”

“I thought it was. I mean I was sucked into yours” he said to her. She nodded.

“Yes but there was a distinct difference. You felt what I did very clearly, but not as if you were experiencing it yourself. That is what you mean right? You felt as though it was all happening to you?” she asked Zeke. He nodded looking between all three of us.

“That’s new. I mean really new. He was sucked in by her and felt everything stronger. That was normal though rare. It only happens when we truly want to be close to the intruder. When our soul actually wants to merge with the other. But to actually experience it that strongly is not what should have happened. No wonder you both look so terrible. I didn’t recall actually feeling as bad as you two look.” I gaped at her then looked at Zeke. He was giving me a look that spoke volumes. He caught the part about actually wanting to be close. I turned away, but I still felt his gaze. Vera looked at me apologetically but the damage was already done. I cleared my throat.

“So which one of us did it?” I asked trying to stay on topic, but move past the awkwardness.

“Has that ever happened to you before?” she asked him. I didn’t see his answer but he must have shook his head.

“Then it looks like you have another ability. Not only can you search a person’s soul, but you can read people from the memories that you see. It seems that you also have the ability to take someone with you on the journey.” she looked at me in awe and I decided it was time to take my leave. I stood up and stretched.

“Well I have a lot to think about. I should be going. I really need to lye down anyway.” I started for the door but Vera stopped me.

“I’m in town for the next week. You should come back tomorrow so we can explore your abilities. I’m sorry to say you’re an oddity, and we need to find out how much control you can manage. It will help you in the long run, and it’s practice you need.” she didn’t say it with any expression. It was just a matter of fact. I had power I couldn’t control and I needed to learn how. I nodded and left before anyone could say anything else.

I crawled into my bed and slept until the sun was well up in the sky the next morning.

Chapter 14

I stretched and rolled out of bed with ease. I felt wonderful. No more aches and pains and most importantly no more headaches. It’s the first time I had actually felt completely rested in a very long time.

It was Saturday so I didn’t have to worry about school. I skipped down the stairs and met Sara in the kitchen. She handed me a plate and I ate with gusto. When I was done I went up to my room to plan for a relaxing day, but I got a text from Zeke asking me when I was going to go over to his house for my practice session. I sighed and grabbed my jacket instead of my book.

I knocked on the door and Rob answered.

“You knocked?” he asked in surprise I lifted a shoulder.

“Yeah I’m feeling much better today.” he ushered me in and I met all of them in the living room like I had the day before. Vera was sitting in the same chair and Zeke was lounging on his side of the couch. He sat up quickly when I walked in, but settled back disappointed when I met him with only a glare.

Vera smiled at me as I took my seat and we all sat in a slightly awkward silence. Finally I couldn’t stand it anymore and leaned forward.

“So where do we start?” I asked. Vera nodded and sat forward as well.

“We start with the most basic of your abilities…searching.”

“How do we do that?”

“Your going to search me.” I took a deep breath and nodded. I looked up and forced myself to meet her eyes, and just like that I was sucked in. It was almost a relief to have the pressure that had been building for weeks eased. The visions only lasted for a moment that felt like an eternity.

It turns out she was raised by her grandmother, but still had a very vague memory of her father. Her mother was no where to be seen in any of the memories. Not even a picture. It left me curious, but I held back not wanting to ask about something so personal.

“So?” she asked.

“So what?” I answered she heaved a big sigh and slumped back.

“Not a single question?” I shook my head.

“No. I mean there is one but its too personal to ask.” she stared at me for a moment. “Is that wrong?” I asked uncertainly.

“No not really just unusual. I’m almost never able to keep myself from asking questions.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice keeping my mouth shut.” I supplied. She nodded in understanding.

“Okay well we already know that you have no control over your searcher abilities so we’re going to find out if you can control the reading.” Rob said as he stood and walked over to me. He knelt down in front of me and my body started to hum. I wanted to reach out to touch him, but I held back not entirely sure what he wanted me to do.

“Do you feel it?” he asked softly looking at me expectantly. I nodded and he reached out a hand. It hovered between us for a moment before I finally took it.

It was different than it was with Sara. I wasn’t pulled in without control this time. Instead I could feel myself pushing at him. I thought about resisting and pulling back but he squeezed my hand not letting me. I took a deep breathe and gave in, but I didn’t push. I felt the desire to, but instead I just went with it. I closed my eyes out of reflex, and saw a glowing light behind my eyelids. The longer I kept my eyes closed the more defined the light became. It became two swirling balls. They weren’t perfectly round, but were more like they were made out of wisps of light that were concentrated in the center.

I realized that I was seeing both of our souls. They took my breath away with the beauty of them. As I watched one moved toward the other. I expected one of them to push into another, but instead I felt as mine sent out a tendril to brush against his. His soul hardened against the contact but never moved. I brushed against him lightly again almost asking permission to enter. After a couple minutes of constant contact his gave way and allowed that one tendril to enter.

The feeling was odd, almost pleasurable. The feeling of humming under my skin turned into more of a tingle than a vibrating and I began to see images. I didn’t want to see anything too personal so I kept it to his adult life. I witnessed his marriage, and the first time he held Zeke as a newborn. I kept it to happy memories. I had no desire to feel his pain from the death of his wife. And I knew it would be a lot of pain, just from the love I felt coming off of him when he was with her.

I opened my eyes and took my hand away from his. He let me without hesitation and sat back on his heels with a sigh.

“I never thought to approach it that way.” he said more to himself than anyone in the room. Zeke and Vera looked at him in confusion. He realized everyone was watching him and he explained. “Normally it’s a fight to enter a soul. Especially one of ours, but instead of forcing her way in she…well it was almost as if she asked for permission.” Zeke gasped.

“And that worked?” he asked doubtfully. I turned to look at Zeke.

“You were really cute when you were born.” Zeke’s jaw dropped and his face turned a slight shade of pink. Vera chuckled slightly.

“So we know that I have control over my reader side. That means we’re done right?” I asked hopefully.

“No now I’d like to see how far back in generations you can go, and if you can pull yourself back to the main person.” I looked at her in confusion, and she offered her hand. I hesitated for a moment then stood in front of her. I took her hand slowly, and met her eyes at the same time.

I was immediately pulled in, and instead of getting the third person point of view I was looking through her eyes as a little girl. From there I was pulled into her father, and then his father after that. I went into her great grandmother, and then her great, great grandfather. When I reached his mother everything went black.

I opened my eyes to find I was looking at the ceiling. I sat up slowly making sure I didn’t have too many bruises. I seemed to be fine, but I was laying on the couch instead of the floor like I thought I was. It took a moment to get feeling in my legs, but when I did I was able to sit up completely.

I looked around and all three of them were staring at me in worry.

“What happened?” I asked. They all sighed in relief.

“You passed out.” Zeke answered looking pale.

“Why?”

“I think that when you go into back generations you slowly spread your soul throughout all of them. Eventually you spread yourself too thin and snapped back.” Vera answered. “How far did you get?” she asked with excitement. I thought for a moment.

“Four I was just starting the fifth when everything went black.” I rubbed my face with my hands.

“Are you okay?” Zeke asked. I nodded.

“Yeah just a little tired.”

“Maybe we should stop for today.” he suggested looking to Vera. I nodded my agreement, and she conceited.

“But I just want to try one more thing.” she said before I could even stand. My shoulders fell slightly but I met her gaze anyway. “I want to see if you can take me with you.” I felt my eyes get wide.

“But I don’t know how I did it before.” I protested. She nodded.

“I know I only want you to try.” I nodded and she sat next to me on the couch this time. She offered her hand and I took it. I could feel the desire to push my way in, but I really didn’t want to. I didn’t want to go back through her memories again. I didn’t want to be able to do any of it. And most importantly I didn’t want to be alone anymore.

Just as I finished that last thought I was sucked in. I looked around and realized I was back to her first memory. I looked to my right and saw her adult self standing next to me. She released a slow breathe and looked over at me with wide eyes. Suddenly I had the intense feeling that I didn’t want to be there anymore. I wanted to be back in my own mind by myself.

And just like that I was back in Rob’s living room holding Vera’s hand. I let go and Vera gasped.

“You did it. I was there, and more significantly you pulled back on your own.”

 

 

 

A week later I was on my back on the couch looking at the ceiling again. It took longer to get feeling back in my body, but when I did I sat up and faced all of them.

I was now able to go back eight generations, and pull out of seven whenever I wanted to. I had taken both Vera and Rob down through their own memories several times, and they each enjoyed their experiences. It seemed the only thing I couldn’t control was searching.

I had seen both of their memories so many times I was beginning to get bored. But I refused to look through Zeke’s. I didn’t want to be that close to him even though my soul strained toward him constantly. I couldn’t risk it.

I had received three more notes in my locker. All three repeated the first word for word, and we still weren’t able to figure out who it was. It was driving me crazy.

“I’m done for today.” I said exhausted. We had been at it for three hours without a break and I was ready to just curl up and go to sleep.

I went back to Sara and Koner’s and went straight up to my room. I laid down intent on sleeping until dinner when my mind started straying to everything I had learned in the past week.

I was just contemplating the soul shredders when a thought stuck. I remembered listening to everyone gossip in school after I broke up with Chase. It seemed that he targeted all of the new girls. Sometimes getting three or four in one year. But I remembered what everyone said when he was done with them.

They all became hysterical or depressed, and never stayed in the school long afterward. I couldn’t get the thought out of my head long enough to drift off to sleep so I got up. I went down to Koner’s office and sat at his desk in front of the computer. He had told me before that I could use the internet when ever I wanted so long as he wasn’t in there.

I brought up google and racked my brain for the names of a few of the girls I had heard about. I remembered one of them and typed her name into the search engine. There were several crap titles that came up, but I finally found what I was looking for.

It turns out that not long after Chase broke up with her she became suicidal. She was now locked in an institution for her own safety. I looked up the second girl and she was the opposite. She had become uncontrollably violent towards everyone around her. She was also locked up in an institution.

I looked up four more girls and all of them had one or two results. Three of them were institutionalized and one of them committed suicide. I closed down the site and sat back taking several deep breaths to keep from hyper ventilating.

After I had calmed myself I bolted from the chair and grabbed my jacket as I ran out the front door. I sprinted across the street to Zeke’s and barged in without warning. Rob had told me not to worry about knocking anymore since I was there almost everyday anyway, but I still felt guilty about it. Zeke and Rob were in the kitchen eating lunch when I ran in to meet them. They both jumped in surprise, and I couldn’t see Vera around anywhere. She must have left for her hotel already.

“I think I know whose been leaving me the notes.” I said quickly.

“Who?”

“Chase, he’s the only one who could possibly know.”

“How?” Zeke asked speculatively.

“Because it’s the only way I could have known about him cheating on me. I was a complete recluse in my last school. I didn’t talk to anyone but him, literally, and he knew that. The only way I could’ve known about what he did was if I got it from him.”

“Okay that make sense.” Rob said.

“There’s more… I’m pretty sure he’s a soul shredder.” My statement was met with silence.

“What makes you think that?” Rob asked in confusion.

“I looked up all of his ex girlfriends. All of them are either in an insane asylum or they’re dead. They committed suicide. And I don’t mean a few I mean every last one of them that I could look up.” Rob stared at me and Zeke looked down at the floor in thought. Suddenly he disappeared out of the room. He came back a few minutes later with a laptop. He typed something in and I watched as his eyes skimmed the screen. He typed something in a few more times until finally he closed it.

“Sam is too. I never put it together before. I just thought all of the girls left out of humiliation, but not one of them are walking around on their own. And some of them are dead.”

“If Chase is then that means Megan is too. And all three of them have been hanging out a lot together. I would put money on Chase having told them about me. Hell they probably figured it out together.” Zeke nodded his agreement and I started to rub the back of my neck. It was hard to concentrate when I was around Zeke, because every time I was the pressure would build until I had a headache no amount of any kind of medication would cure.

Rob sat in contemplation, and Zeke stared at me for a couple minutes. Finally he took his glasses off and I half turned away towards the wall so I couldn’t accidentally make eye contact.

“If you need to look then look.” he said softly. I shook my head and jumped when Rob suddenly got up and walked out of the room. I heard as his study door closed behind him and sighed. Zeke walked over so he was standing in front of me. I looked down at our shoes, and he reached out to touch my chin. I jerked back, but it didn’t stop him. My entire body hummed and my head felt ready to explode.

He forced my head up, and my eyes widened as I realized just how close he was. I could feel the heat coming off of his body, and I closed my eyes. It was more to keep myself from leaning into him than avoiding his eyes, but it served the same purpose.

He took his hand from my chin only to slide it across my cheek and into my hair. I had taken it down to take a nap earlier and in a hurry never bothered to put it back up. He ran his hand down it’s length then started at the top again letting it slide through his fingers. No body had ever done that before and I felt myself slowly relaxing into his hand.

I felt his other hand settle on my hip and opened my eyes in surprise. I opened my eyes and looked directly into his. I only had enough time to realize his eyes were a deep emerald.

In the next second I was standing in his room and he sat with his mom while they played with legos. They were both smiling and happy.

Shift

He was sitting with his dad in his study as he read him a book. Both of them content.

Shift

Rob was teaching him about soul readers.

Shift

His mom was pushing him on a set of swings.

Shift

He was standing at her casket.

I felt his sadness as if it were my own and in that sadness I felt myself reach for him. And the next thing I know I’m looking though his eyes as he’s playing with his mom on the floor again. He looked up at her and I let myself get pulled into her.

She had a very active and happy life all the way up until she met Rob in college. They married the day after she graduated and he went on to med school. I watched as she gave birth to Zeke, and watched him grow. The love and devotion she felt for her family was almost overwhelming and brought me close to tears.

I pulled back from her and back to Zeke when she was close to her end. Instead of dying of an illness she perished in a car accident. When I was back in Zeke. I stayed in his point of view and managed to keep myself from being pulled into anyone else. A feat I had yet to manage until now.

I watched as his life went by and he learned to perfect his ability. Until we were sitting in a desk at school and I walked into the room. It was the first time he saw me. I was standing there talking to the teacher with my eyes on the floor. My clothes were lose giving no hint to my body type and I had dark circles under my eyes. I walked to my desk with my eyes on the floor but my back straight and my head as high as I could manage without looking up. I looked confident but tired.

I felt his spark of curiosity in me grow into a flame as he watched me throughout the day. His curiosity turned to true interest as I succeeded to ignore his existence throughout so many weeks. And then I felt his happiness when he finally got my lasting attention.

I watched as he went through the anger and frustration with me keeping him at arms length. Then I felt his guilt as he trapped me into revealing a bit of my lingering feelings of my childhood in our first fight. And his gut wrenching guilt for both forcing his way into my soul and then for making me so sick from it. He felt horror from what he saw and sympathy he knew better than to show.

But at the same time I finally understood why he felt he had to. He was angry and hurt and frustrated by my rejection, and even more confused why I would let him that close and push him away so hard.

It was like I was reliving the last week and half through him. Seeing it all as he saw it. I felt his immense sadness every time he looked at me and knew he would never get close to me again. He felt miserable every time I looked at him with nothing but coldness. And then his joy when he found out that I had wanted him as much as he wanted me. But he was back to intense sadness when I refused to interact with him.

As he watched me so closely his feelings went from curiosity to casual interest to romantic interest and then to something so intense he didn’t know how to handle it. Didn’t know what it was. It confused and irritated him because he couldn’t name it and he didn’t understand what it was. But I did. I had never felt it myself, but I had felt through so many other people I could name it instantly.

He was in love with me, and more disturbing was the fact that it took me feeling it through him to realize that I felt the same for him. I had been in so much denial over it that I had insisted to myself that I was just growing too attached to our friendship.

 

I blinked and was back in my own mind and body. His hand was gripping my hip and I had a hold on his wrist keeping his other hand against my cheek. He was gazing down at me and I saw the love in his eyes. I felt mine fill with tears though I wasn’t entirely sure what they meant.

“And now you know.” he said softly. He started to lean down and I saw the kiss coming. I had plenty of time to move away, but instead I closed the few inches between our bodies and pressed myself against him.

He groaned as his lips met mine, and I deepened it immediately. My self control was gone and I ran my hands up his chest relishing the feel of him. I had spent so long without touch. I didn’t touch anyone and I let no one touch me. I hadn’t realized how much I craved it.

I tolerated Chase’s touch, but I sought out Zeke’s. The kiss ended and I leaned back enough to look at him. I couldn’t get enough of his eyes. I felt like I could drown in them and die happy.

Zeke watched me with a look tinged in worry. He reached up and ran his thumb across my cheek again coming back with a tear. I reached up and wiped my face. It was true I was crying and I finally understood what the tears meant. I was happy. Actually happy for the first time in years.

I smiled up at him and he smiled back in relief. We indulged in one more kiss then it was time for me to leave. We still had Sam, Chase, and Megan to worry about. We couldn’t afford to explore these new feelings too closely just yet.

It wasn’t until I was laying in my own bed that I started to worry again. With my abilities growing like they were it was only a matter of time before I had to leave. What would happen when our new relationship suddenly turned long distance? I sighed and rolled onto my side.

Chapter 15

Zeke

 

 

 

 

I couldn’t help my smile as I watched her walk out the door. I turned and started up to my room when my dad stepped in front of me. He had a self satisfied expression and I was hard pressed not to roll my eyes.

“It looks like that went well.” I lifted a shoulder.

“Yeah” I moved to walk past but his next words stopped me.

“You realize she’s going to panic right?” I turned back to him.

“What do you mean?”

“She’s been shipped from place to place all her life because of an ability she can’t control. She’s been forced to leave everything behind time and time again. She already feels like it’s only a matter of time before she gets sent away.”

“If it happens then we’ll just work it out.” he shook his head.

“It’s not that simple. There’s no telling where she would end up and how long it would be between each time you saw each other. Long distance relationships rarely work for a reason. And you have to remember: to her it’s not if, but when.” he left me with that lovely thought as he climbed the stairs to his own room.

I sighed as I laid down on my bed. Everything happened so quickly tonight. She went from wanting nothing to do with me to kissing me with so much passion I almost melted. I didn’t want to let her go when she decided to leave, but she was right we needed a little more time.

 

I woke up the next morning and Sam was the first thing I thought about. I knew he had some kind of trouble in mind for Rayne. I was terrified of what he might do to her, and since he apparently had accomplices it made him even more dangerous.

 

I pulled into the school parking lot a few minutes ahead of her. The guys gave me an odd look and got out of the car. I climbed out after them and told them to go on I’d catch up.

I only had to wait a couple minutes before Rayne pulled in next to me. I walked around and opened the door for her. She stepped out and looked up at me with amused expression.

“Am I unable to open my own doors now?” she asked. I shrugged.

“Of course but I have to show chivalry in public at least.” she laughed.

“Well then maybe you should make sure there are people around to see it.” I looked around and sure enough no one was around.

“How did that happen?”

“I’m almost always close to being late. Everyone’s inside the first bell is about to ring.” she swung her bag over her shoulder and started walking inside.

I walked her all the way to her first class sneaking a kiss right before she walked in. I was a couple minutes late to my own class, but the teacher didn’t mind. I was always the first one in so one day didn’t make much of a difference. It helped that she was a friend of my dad’s and was currently trying to be more.

Five minutes before the bell rang I asked to go to the bathroom. I grabbed my things and the bell rang just as I got to Rayne’s class. She walked out with her eyes on the floor and her ear buds in. I followed her for a few steps then reached out and tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped and spun around wide eyed. I couldn’t help laughing and she shot me a rueful look before turning around to keep walking leaving me to catch up.

Her posture said she was angry, but she pulled out one of the ear buds as I reached her side and gave me a small smile.

“What are you doing here isn’t your class on the second floor?” she asked. I slipped my hand in hers. She tensed like she was going to pull away so I tightened my grip slightly. “Relax I’m just still getting used to the whole reader thing.” I did as she said and relaxed. She wasn’t going to pull away she was just fighting the desire to read me. It amazed me that she felt the need when she already went through the searching last night.

“So even when you search someone you still want to read them too?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah I had already went through it with Sara before I ended up back in her head again.” I nodded in thought and then changed the subject to something trivial.

When we walked into our next class our hands were still linked, earning several amazed stares. I never dated anyone in school and for me to start now with the mysterious new girl was front page news to several girls. We split and went to our own desks.

Rayne walked past Liz and Donna and they both graced her with the most heated glares I’ve ever seen. She just smiled at them politely and continued on her way.

The hour passed slowly with me stealing several glances at her. She kept her head bent over her book and never looked up. When the bell finally rang she grabbed her bag and stood. I met her at the door and slipped my hand in hers again. Both Liz and Donna pushed past us slamming their shoulder into hers. I looked down to see her smirking at the floor.

“I’m lost is that funny?” I asked outraged on her behalf. She met my eyes without fear and I almost forgot what I was angry about.

“Yes it is. You see both of them have obviously been trying to land in your bed for awhile. I’ve only been here for a couple months and have earned both of their dislikes before now. And suddenly we make an appearance as a couple. High school drama can be very amusing.” she answered.

“What if they try coming after you?” she snorted.

“Yeah right. There is nothing either of them can do that I haven’t gone through times ten. Besides I could make them regret everything they’ve ever done. Knowing that can get me through a lot.”

“Oh” was the only answer I could come up with. We walked into our physics class and walked to our table not bothering to separate. She sat down and turned to me. She got a confused look.

“What?” I asked.

“Where are your glasses?”

“In my bag.”

“Why aren’t you wearing them?”

“I don’t need them in here.”

“But you were wearing them my first day.”

“I only wear them inside if I plan on sleeping.”

“So then why aren’t you wearing them today?”

“I only wore them so much because it was the only way you would look at me.” she stared at me for a moment then mumbled something as she turned away.

We sat quietly me doing the days homework and her leaned back in her usual way reading. I dreaded when the class would be over. Then I would have to go two hours before I saw her up close again.

The bell rang and we both walked into the hallway. Chase, Megan, and Sam were walking by and looked at us. Chase winked at Rayne causing Megan and Sam to laugh hysterically. Sam and Megan were walking arm in arm and it was obvious we weren’t the only new couple.

I turned to Rayne and she looked calm but slightly pale. She leaned up and kissed me a little too much to be appropriate for school, then she started to go to her next class.

 

At lunch she sat where she normally did, but it wasn’t close enough for me. I reached out and grabbed the back leg of her chair, pulling it towards me causing her to yell out. The guys chuckled, but she settled in against my side and I had to repress a sigh of contentment.

 

 

 

 

 

Rayne

 

 

 

 

Chase and his new friends walked by, and I watched them struggling not to show how much they had shaken me. I didn’t know what they planned to do with the knowledge of what they thought I could do, but I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant.

I leaned harder against Zeke and he squeezed my shoulder slightly. I smirked when Chase glared at him showing the first sign of jealousy I had ever seen out of him. I went through the lunch hour in relative peace ignoring Chase’s group when they laughed too loudly obviously trying to get my attention.

 

The next week went like that. Me and Zeke walking through school showing off the relationship we were now in. Chase and his friends would taunt me every chance they got, and we would ignore them the best we could. I would go over to Zeke’s house after dinner or he would come up to my room. We would always leave the door open so we didn’t rouse suspicion, but we also always snuck a make out session before one of us had to leave for the night. After I was away from him I would lose sleep from worrying about how we were going to work, and what Chase was planning. Other than the worries though I was reasonably happy.

Then the other shoe dropped. It happened while we were in physics. Zeke was done with his work and we were holding hands under the table like we always did. Suddenly Sara ran into the room followed closely by the secretary from the front office. She looked terrible. Her mascara was running so I knew she had been crying, and her hair was a mess like she had run her hands through it more than twice.

I stood quickly and went to her pulling her into the hall. Whatever had her this upset should not be told in front of a room full of gossiping teenagers. When I had her in the hall I pushed her back so she was leaning back against the wall. She was crying so hard I couldn’t understand anything she said.

“Sara calm down breathe.” she did as I instructed and when I felt she was coherent enough to answer my questions I started in on her. “What happened? What’s wrong?” she looked like she was ready to burst into tears again, but she took a deep breath and let the tears fall silently instead.

A few students were walking through the halls and stopped to look at her until I glared at them hard enough that they kept walking.

Chapter 16

“She’s gone.” I looked at her confused.

“Who’s gone?”

“Kristi. She’s gone. I let her play in the back yard for a while this morning, and when I went out to call her in for a snack she wasn’t there. I looked all over the neighborhood, but I couldn’t find her so I came to get you. You know her better than anyone do you know where she might have wondered off to?” she asked desperately. I stood there staring at her in shock. Kristi never wandered off she was afraid of being alone. That means someone took her. My chest started tightening and I could barely breathe.

A large hand grabbed my arm and spun me around. It was Zeke he looked into my eyes steadily and my breathing evened out. I grabbed his hand and squeezed as hard as I could. Trying to ground myself so I could function. Suddenly Frank, Jake, and Will ran up to us. I looked at them in surprise as they shot us all worried looks.

“What’s going on?” Frank asked taking in Sara’s appearance, and my expression.

“Kristi’s disappeared.” Zeke answered quietly. All of them gasped in unison. Each of them had met her at different occasions looking for Zeke or asking me something.

“How did you guy’s know something was wrong?” I asked they each held up a cell phone.

“One of the biggest gossips in school saw you out here and started texting everyone they knew.” Will answered. I sighed who knew what Chase and Megan were going to do when they found out about this. I froze and pulled Zeke aside.

“Where’s Chase and Megan?” I asked him. I hadn’t seen either of them or Sam for that matter. They always made it a point to antagonize me first thing in the morning and between every class. Zeke looked down in thought then looked back at me with the same horror that was crawling up my chest.

“What aren’t you telling us?” Jake asked us abruptly. I hadn’t realized that they had approached. I looked to Zeke for confirmation and he nodded.

“Chase, Sam, and Megan took Kristi.” Will looked shocked, Jake gave us a doubtful look, but Frank nodded as if it made perfect sense.

“Of course they did they’ve had it out for you since they stepped foot in the cafeteria.” he said in answer to my questioning look.

“Would they really kidnap a little girl just to get even with you for dumping Chase?” Jake asked. We all nodded.

“Yes they would. There is no limit to how evil they are.”

“Well let’s go get her back then.” Frank said. I turned to him with regret. He would be a great ally in this. He was gentle, but there was a savage protective side to him as well. I had no doubt he would die to protect any of us, and that was why I couldn’t let him. What we faced was worse than death.

“No you can’t.”

“The hell I can’t.” he answered in the first show of anger I had ever seen from him.

“Frank this is not just someone who kidnapped someone to get even with me. They can hurt you worse than anyone else in this world. I’m sorry but I can’t risk you getting hurt not like that.” he raised his shoulders and his chest came out a little.

“You’re not taking the risk I am, and you can’t stop me from following you.” I sighed and turned to Zeke. He just shrugged looking just as lost as I felt.

“Okay so where are we going?” Will asked. I rolled my eyes at him.

“I go find out.” I turned and started for the stairs with all of them including Sara following. I reached my locker and opened it. Sure enough there was a note stuck to the inside of the door. “They took her to a warehouse on the outskirts of town.” I said marveling at how cliché that was I thought they had more imagination than that.

“Let’s go.” Jake said and started walking toward the front doors to the parking lot. We followed until we were at the foot of the steps outside when Sara stopped us. She turned me around to face her and it was the first time I had seen her so serious.

“I’m coming with you.”

“No you’re not it’s too dangerous.”

“She’s my daughter I have every right.”

“Yes she is, and yes you do, but you’re not. There is much more at stack than you know.”

“She’s right Sara.” I turned to see Rob standing behind me.

“How’d you get here?” I asked in surprise. He smirked.

“I drove.” I gave him a look and he sighed.

“Sara called me when she gave up looking. She told me she was coming to get you and I came as quickly as I could.” he turned to Sara. “Does Koner know what’s going on?” he asked her.

“Yes I do.” Koner answered approaching us and I got the satisfaction of seeing Rob jump.

“Good then you and Sara can go home and wait for me to call you.” I said hopefully. He shook his head and I sighed. I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.

“Look you guys don’t know what’s actually going on, and if you show up with me they might hurt her. I need to do this on my own.” Zeke cleared his throat loudly, and I looked over to see he was looking at me expectantly as were Will, Jake, and Frank. “With only a few friends.” I amended and they looked satisfied.

“There is no way I’m letting a bunch of teenagers go save my daughter by themselves. Especially if it’s as dangerous as you say.” Koner answered in a no nonsense tone.

“That’s why I’m going with them.” Rob told him with certainty.

“You’re not coming either.” I told him and he rounded on me. I held up a hand to shut them all up, and started to tell them the plan that had been forming since the arrival of Koner. “We’ll go in three cars. Me, Will, and Zeke will go in one. Jake and Frank in another, and the three of you in the third. But only the five of us will be going inside. I need you three to wait outside for when I send Kristi out. Rob I need you to make sure she’s okay. You are a doctor after all. Sara and Koner I need you to be ready to get her out of there quickly.” I finished and they started yelling at me.

“We’re not leaving you there!” Sara and Koner yelled in unison.

“They can take Kristi to the hospital I need to stay to make sure none of you get hurt.” Rob answered more diplomatically. I gave him a meaningful look.

“No I need you to make sure she’s completely okay.” he took in my expression, and finally nodded, but clearly not liking the turn of events.

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m not leaving you in there with three severely disturbed teenagers.” Sara cut in. I looked at her in surprise. I thought she was too upset to really listen to what we were saying. I looked at Koner and he nodded in agreement.

“Kristi is more important. Once she’s safe I can handle myself, and besides I’ll have four guys watching my back.” they exchanged a glance then nodded reluctantly.

I gave them the address that was on the note, and we separated into our respective vehicles. We took the drive in silence and Zeke was squeezing my hand so hard it hurt, but I didn’t say anything and I didn’t pull away.

We pulled up in front of the ware house they told me to go to, and I took a deep breath. I could see Chase’s mustang in the driveway, and a Cadillac I assumed was Sam’s. Why is it that the assholes get all the nice cars. The five of us that were going in got out of our cars and gathered together. I looked over to Sara’s car and the three of them nodded to us in unison as an unspoken token of good luck.

The five of us looked at each other then started for the door together. The door was cracked open so I knew they were at least expecting me. I nudged the door open with my shoe and stepped in silently. The ware house was huge but it was mostly just one room.

There was only one light on in the whole building, and sitting under that single light sat Kristi. She sat there with her feet barely hanging off the end of her chair, and her head down so her hair covered her face. I took another step and it echoed around the room. Kristi looked up and I saw her face. She had tear stains down her cheeks and she had dirt caked on her cheeks.

I crossed the room quickly and the closer I got to her the more clearly I could see her. The more clearly I could see her the angrier I got. Her eyes were rimmed in red and it looked like she had a bruise forming on her right cheek. Her arms were tied behind her back and I started to work on the knots constantly glancing around for the sorry excuse for human beings that did this to her. She was too small to tie her arms around the back of the chair so they tied her wrists together and tied the rope to the chair itself.

When I freed her hands she brought them together. Her skin was chaffed and raw new tears started pouring and she threw herself into my arms. I rocked her back and forth for a moment then whispered for her to run outside as fast as she could. She nodded then did as I commanded. I watched as Koner swung her up into his arms and rushed her to the car. I let out a relieved breath just as the door closed from the force with which Kristi had run through it. The guys stood to the side of the door and looked at me nervously.

I heard a girlish giggle coming from the back left had corner of the room and stiffened. I looked that way but I could only see darkness.

“I’ve never been much for theatrics.” I said evenly.

“Oh you’re no fun.” Megan answered with a dramatic sigh. I heard a switch being flipped and had to blink several times for my eyes to adjust to the sudden light that filled the room.

I looked around and took stock of where every one was. Megan was next to the light switch right where I thought she was. Chase was standing at the back just a couple yards from the chair that separated us. Sam was standing in the back right corner with his arms folded and a smirk on his face.

“This is great like a nice big party. I can’t wait for the fun to begin.” Megan said in her sickeningly sweet voice which I was beginning to see as her cruel voice.

“Okay you’ve got me here what do you want?” I asked.

“Oh nothing just a tiny bit of blood.” Megan answered as she walked up to join her brother. Sam joined the ranks taking up Chase’s other side. I looked at him and raised a brow. He shrugged.

“I knew there was something off about you. No one dumps me and no one ever catches me. There had to be a way for you to know what you did. It just took a bit of waiting and watching for me to figure it out.” I rolled my eyes.

“So that’s it? You want to shred my soul because I hurt your pride?” I asked incredulously.

“You humiliated him! And no one ever messes with my family.” Megan snapped. I looked at her and realized I was feeling more than just anger and dislike. I was feeling hate. I hated Megan. Sure I had embarrassed Chase I could understand wanting revenge for that although not to the extent with which they were trying. And I totally blew off Sam, but I had never done anything to Megan. I tried really hard for a long time to be nice to her, but even I had my limits on what I would put up with.

“And the beauty of this is no one will ever miss you, because no one has ever wanted you. It’s the perfect ending. It’s a shame all of these fine male specimens will have to share your fate though. I hope your last coherent thought is how much their demise is your fault.” Megan said with a fake hopeful sigh. She was really pissing me off. I felt my blood heat and the adrenaline rush to my limbs readying to tear her to shreds.

I felt the guys move up to flank me. We waited in silence for our stand off to shift. Finally Chase shot me a smirk and started toward me brandishing a pocket knife in the process. I felt my group split Frank and Jacob heading toward Sam and Will and Zeke towards Megan.

I stood there rooted to the floor as I watched Chase close the distance. He shoved the chair to the side and it clattered to the floor. When he was within arms reach he pulled his fist back aiming for my face. He almost connected when I blocked his arm and leaned back effectively kicking him in the stomach. He fell to the floor and stared up at me in shock. I never shared anything with Chase when we were dating. Including how I had stayed with a police officer when I was ten and he made me take self defense classes. Something I enjoyed and continued after I left his home.

Chase scrambled to his feet and came at me again this time with his knife. I grabbed his wrist mid swing and brought his arm down to my knee three times in quick session until I heard it clatter to the floor. I brought my arm back and shoved my elbow into his face.

He stumbled back and brought both hands to his face. Apparently I broke his nose. I smiled and he growled as he rushed me. I stepped to the side just before he reached me and watched as his momentum took him to the floor again.

He jumped up and came at me slower before he could reach me I spun and kicked him in the jaw. This time when he hit the floor he didn’t get up. He was knocked out cold. I looked around to see Sam was unconscious and Frank and Jacob had joined Zeke and Will in holding Megan still. She was screaming and thrashing as hard as she could, but could budge her captors.

I walked over to them slowly still running on my anger. Frank and Jake backed up to give me room and Megan met my eyes.

“You bitch! What are you going to do call the police? My father will have us out in an hour then we’ll be free to come for you again. And this time we won’t take the girl we’ll kill her!” she gave a maniacal laugh and stepped up close to her. Her smile faltered when I didn’t react.

“You won’t” I said and grabbed both sides of her face. Her body jolted when I tore my way through her defenses mercilessly. I took her with me as I went through all of her victims. I went through all of their memories and forced her to live through the havoc of what she had done to them. She experienced all of their souls as they shredded first hand. As if it were happening to her over and over again.

In the distance I heard a shrill scream, but I was too busy to acknowledge it. I forced her to live through every unspeakable evil thing she had ever done from her victim’s point of view.

The only downside was that I also took the trip. I felt everything she felt and lived through each of her victim’s demise. It felt like weeks had passed before I finally let go of her and stepped back.

I should say I tried to step back. I was beyond exhausted and as I lifted my leg to step back I just tipped. I came against a hard chest and arms wrapped around me. I rested my head against Zeke’s shoulder and took a deep breath.

I looked down at what was now a shell of Megan. She sat there with her mouth open in a mask of horror. She was breathing so I knew she was still alive, but she didn’t respond to anything. The worst part was her eyes. They used to be a crystal clear blue now they were straight black. No irises just black like her eyes were a void that could never take anything in or reflect anything back.

“What did you do to her?” Will asked waving his hand in front of her face.

“I made her relive everything she had ever done to anyone, but I made her feel it from their point of view. I didn’t expect this though.” I added hesitantly.

“She’s nothing anymore. You completely destroyed her soul. She had to feel what it was like to have her soul shredded over and over again, and she couldn’t handle it.”

“So I made her shred her own soul?” I asked with a morbid curiosity.

“No she self destructed. If her soul was shredded there would still be pieces of her in there. Instead she obliterated her own soul. There’s nothing there anymore. Her body is still alive but everything that made her, her is gone. She’ll never hurt anyone ever again.”

“Remind me never to piss you off.” Jake said with a low whistle. I chuckled and then passed out.

Chapter 17

I came back to consciousness with a warm body curled up next to mine. I turned my head slightly and cracked my eyes open. Kristi was tucked in tightly to my side. Slowly the memory of the night before came back to me. I pulled her tighter to me and rested my forehead in her hair.

Someone cleared their throat and I glanced at the other side of the room. Koner was sitting in my desk chair watching me. There was a stern curiosity in his eyes. Then the full impact of what had happened hit me and my heart dropped into my stomach. I looked back down at Kristi and felt my chest tighten in grief.

I didn’t regret saving her. I didn’t even regret what I did to Megan. I saw that as a twisted form of karma. But I knew I would have to say goodbye to Kristi and that would tare my heart out.

I slid out from under her and off the bed. I made my way to the door quietly and I knew Koner followed. I went down the stairs and into the dining room where Sara sat waiting for us with cups of coffee at our respective seats.

I sat down and gripped my cup tightly enjoying the warmth that seeped into my hands. Both of them sat staring at me until I couldn’t take the silence anymore. I took a deep breathe and looked them in the eye resolved to get this over with and let the cards fall where they may.

“I guess I have a lot to explain.” I said and they both nodded. Neither one of them said anything and I appreciated the time to collect my thoughts. “On my sixth birthday I went downstairs for breakfast.”

They listened patiently through my entire story never interrupting or asking any questions. When I was done they sat in silence staring at me in a mixture of awe, pity, and something I couldn’t quite identify. After the silence became to much for me I stood.

“I know it’s a lot to take, and I understand what this means. All I ask is to be able to see Kristi every once in a while.” I turned away but not before I saw the confused look they shared.

I made my way up the stairs slowly and entered my soon to be old room. I moved quietly so I wouldn’t wake up Kristi. I dug in the back of the closet and pulled out my old duffel bags. I started putting all of my old clothes in them just as someone stepped into the room. I turned to see what they wanted but froze when I saw it was Zeke.

He stood there and looked from me to my bags. I watched as the anger filled his eyes and he marched over and grabbed me by my upper arms. He squeezed so hard it hurt, but he wasn’t done. He dragged me out of the room and down the stairs.

“Owe! Zeke what the hell are you doing?” I snapped, but he didn’t stop until we were in the living room. I pulled out of his hold and glared at him. “What is your problem?” He glared at me.

“What is my problem? What do you think you were doing?” I shrugged and looked down uncomfortably.

“I’ll tell you what it looked like. It looked like you were packing. Like you were fixing to leave.”

“Leave it alone Zeke. It’s not like I want to.” I said quietly afraid that if I raised my voice any higher I would lose it.

“Then don’t. Stay. You don’t have to go anywhere.” he said softly as he stepped closer to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and drew me against him. He leaned down and I saw the kiss coming. Of the few kisses we had shared this one was the most intense. It was everything we felt and more. I was the one that broke the kiss stepping away from him even though I felt my heart breaking as I did.

“I’m sorry but I have no control over it.” I whispered. He met my eyes and lowered his head.

“Yes you do.” I whirled and saw Koner and Sara standing in the doorway. “If you leave it will be your choice.” I looked him in the eyes and I saw no fear. I saw nothing but affection and appreciation. I looked to Sara confused, but I saw the same thing in her eyes.

“He’s right nothing you told us this morning changed how we feel or what we think of you. You’re like the sister I never had. We love you we don’t want you to leave.” she said in answer to my questioning gaze.

“Unless that’s what you want. We won’t try to stop you if that’s what you choose.” As he said it I saw the fear in him. The fear that I would choose to leave instead of staying with them.

My knees started shaking and I was having a hard time breathing. They wanted me. Not only did they want me, but they truly cared about me. Tears filled my eyes and I was overwhelmed by the emotions that were swirling in my chest. My knees buckled and Zeke caught me before I could fall. He sat me on the couch and sat down next to me pulling me into his arms.

I buried my face in his chest and sobbed. I cried for the first time in years and instead of it being out of grief or loss it was from happiness. For the first time since I was six years old I was truly happy.

Imprint

Images: This amazing cover was created by Nina Kari.
Publication Date: 05-08-2013

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