I'm Done.

I've dealt with it for too long. I've let you take me down and screw with my feelings, and now I'm to the point where I could care less about you or your feelings. It's sad that the world is so full of pathetic people. People who don't care about others problems, don't care about other peoples feelings, they just want attention, and you're one of them. You think I'm going to spend the rest of my life caring about someone who didn't care about me from the start? I've done that for enough time, and it's over now.
You are your company, and I don't plan to be a boy-crazy whore. I plan to be known as a successful person, not another one of you. Go ahead and plan to have your whole life feeling unwanted and hated, you probably feel that way because honestly no one wants to be around someone who isn't going far in life. Maybe you should see reality and realize what you've done, you broke me, and I'm sure you've hurt many others. I'm sorry, but that's all you life will ever consist of, but if you ever do anything that involves me again, it better only be taking me off your so called 'best friend' list. I won't be missing you for a second.
Hope you can sleep on that.

I'm Sorry.

     I'm sorry I get too attached quickly. I should know better, I lose everyone. I won't ever be the person you dream about or love. I wouldn't love me either. The panic attacks at 12 am, the fake smile, the scars, the insecurity, I just push away the people I love, who would ever love a person like me? I'm broken, nothing can fix me, no therapy to relieve me, no father to comfort me, no best friend to distract me from the horrible things in this world. Nothing impresses me anymore, I'm just blank, but I want you. I need you. I look in the mirror, it's just a blur. My tears make it hard for me to see anything. I will never be able to look at myself and smile. It's getting hard to breathe I'm slowly fading away. I have no reason to stay here anymore. Can I just restart or simply be someone else? I'm stuck, suicide or not? Either way I feel nothing. I'm numb, but at the same time I feel so much, it's a living hell. Am I a sickness? Just one that isn't excused at school?

Endless Pain.

   I look around and see a great family and friends with no problems or worries. Then I look deeper. I get into my mind, holding my scary thoughts and I see the truth. The truth is I can't go a day with out my mom telling me how bad of a daughter I am, I hardly have any friends and the ones I have people try to take from me, my mom won't let me have any social media at all. I feel people secretly judging me inside. I get it I'm never good enough, I'm too fat, I'm ugly, I'm annoying, my music sucks, I'm too needy, I'm too clingy, I'm all of it. Call me what you what, push me around make me cry make me bleed. It doesn't hurt anyone but me, so why does it matter? I've tried to be strong but what can I do when my own self isn't good enough.
Maybe I should just run away, disappear from my family and skip school. I'll just cut deeper and hate hate myself more till it's good enough for all you.

Not You.

Don’t say you will always be there for me, you don’t care. You drag me into your lies and make me believe you are worth my time. Truth be told you will never be worth my time. No, not you, you will never be wasting my time again. One day I won’t have another thought of you. You won’t be the cause of my pain, you will be nothing. I will be stronger than you, you can’t take me down. I will learn to live on my own, I will survive without the need of you. You don’t over power me and you never will. You will not be the cause of my scars or my tears. No, not you. You can’t break me, for I am shattered and cannot be broken more, But I am still strong.

Forever Failure.

 I'm sorry I mean nothing more to you that I do. I try to make everyone enjoy my company but never am I successful. I am hated by so many for no reason, then others hate me because all I will ever be is a loser. I just need to disappear, it will be better more than worse. I don't want to live another day because all I do is wish for a better life. I've tried to make things better, I have tried to talk to people, but they never care. I'm one of those people who just get thrown around and used. I never cross anyone's mind. I try to forget the past but I always see myself running back to it, and it always ends up hurting me more. This world sucks and I don't see myself ever enjoying it again.

Bands

 Twenty Øne Piløts
Mutemath
Chefspecial
Saint Motel
Death Cab for Cutie
Jon Bellion
Lady Gaga
Lorde
Ed Sheeran
Tove Lo
Alessia Cara
AlunaGeorge
ODESZA
The Weeknd
Flume
Hippie Sabotage
Glass Animals
Nirvana
Papa Roach
Five Finger Death Punch
Korn
Blink-182
3 Doors Down
My Chemical Romance
Bring Me The Horizon
The White Stripes
Sleeping With Sirens
Panic! At The Disco
Gorillaz
Nothing More
Asking Alexandria
Pierce The Veil
Muse
System of a Down
Paramore
Fall Out Boy
Artic Monkeys
The Offspring
Lynrd Skynryd
Weezer
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Sublime
Of Mice & Men
Green Day
Three Days Grace
A Day to Remember
Cold Play
Two Door Cinema Club
All Time Low
Linkin Park
Hollywood Undead
Alice In Chains
Audioslave
The Black Keys
Dirty Heads
Disturbed
Foster The People
Pearl Jam
Beastie Boys
Beck
Cake
Chelsea Grin

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Publication Date: 11-28-2016

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