Chapter 2

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.” -Rodney Dangerfield

I get dressed and go down stairs to find my mother laying on the couch wacthing tv with the remote in her hand, she hears me and looks away from the tv with a smile on her face.
''Honey, you got your ass whooped pretty hard last night''- (why the change of heart you sick womanly bastard -.-) ''How are you feeling?'' My mother asks me.
''Im feeling like Simba came into me and raped my ass because I stole his pride lands and gave it to scar.'' (Love the Lion King)
''Hey boy, you better wacth your mouth, I rasied you better than that!'' (Hell no you didn't, you are gone everynight, fucking man's ass and jumping off of skyscrapers, so do you call that rasing, Woman?)
I ignore my mother and grab my backpack off the couch and head out towards the door, I lock the door behide me and started to walk off toward the bus stop. Now the neighborhood that I live in (which is the straight up ghetto, where kids run around naked and fat chicks dressing in skimpy dresses thinking that they are cute but it looks like blubber shit just came out as they are walking up and down the street, and men lurking around corners just to see the white boy walking up the sidewalk) isn't safe. When you walk around her you will hear the follwing: Gun shots, Women screaming, Women and men fist fighting (yes fist fight but the men sometimes win, when you say something out of line to a lady, you will not be seeing christmas anytime soon so wacth what you say around here) and a couple doing all there business in the apartments, you will know when they are doing it cause you will here 'THANK YA JESUAAS'.
For the past three mins im almost to the bus stop when a fat naked man jumps (yes jumps, all his fat are jiggling) and starts to hug me, I am now screaming and shitting squirrls on the sidewalk.
This man (smelled like cum, piss, and turds ass) is screaming in my ear praying to god: "Jesus, this white, ugly, emo boy-'' (white ugly emo boy, hold up a second you turd smelling, looking like a pregnate woman with a tick tack dick man.......) ''Please revilve this boy and make all and yes I mean all the white stripers come and find me one day, you know I haven't had a good time since I was 50 and my balls are about to fall off-'' (They really are, I mean they are hanging on a peice of skin kinda like this-------> O`O thats how it was looking)''And may all your christmases be white, or are they black? Amen thank ya jesus.'' (this asshole is speaking in jesus tough latin, you know how african american people go to church and they start speaking in a language that only jesus understands... (not making fun I just think its kind of funny though don't get me wrong I do belive in him I just can't speak jesus tough latin)) The man lets go of me and now I smell like gorrilas.
To my right I hear some tires screech and know thats the bus, I take off running and try to jump in the bus (Yes jump in the bus, let me tell how this works with the buses of my school district: The bus doesn't stop at all until we hit the school parking lot, so heres how you need to jump inside the bus, you need good shoes and a spare of clothes and a good jumping skill also you need to be skinny, if you weigh over 120000 pound I suggest you walk. The bus only slows down for three to five seconds at least, when it get to that point you have to move your caveman ass into that bus no matter how hard it hurts.) So here I am smelling like monkeys and running down the sidewalk to cacth the bus, when the bus slows down I jump off the curb and into the window (yep not throught the door, but the fucking window) just to get my ass stuck. Going to school with my ass stuck out the window, not a good day at all to begin with.
the isle I am in has a little tiny girl sitting in the cushion, she looks so sweet and gentle but 10 seconds later (yes I really counted) this little girl turns out to be an evil bicth, she starts to shave her legs (THOSE LEGS LOOK BIGFOOT HAS CONTROL OF HER BODY) and with the raser she whips the hair on to my face where all my cuts and bruses are, so yeah it hurt like a mother fucker. When we pull into the school parking lot the bus parks with alot of force that it flings me out the window to hit a car next to the bus, I land on my back in desparate pain and of need of a shower. Well the car I hit open it doors and steps on my stomach into the school (hellloooo, do you not see me here) Then a three year old apparently had to use the restroom, so he thought my face would do the trick.
I really hate the start of my day.

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Publication Date: 12-16-2011

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