warnings and such

 there is the slightest possibility of blood in this book and maybe a few scenes that are for more........older people but i own not my little pony that is courtesy of lauren faust the books though completely my idea. age should be 16 up but can be lower just skip some of the more awkward stuff

the talk and destruction

a few months after the vacation it was vinyls birthday and me and octaviahad an awesome idea and to be truthfull i didn't think she would go for it.the plan was to take vinyls big black.........thing from her room and use it on her.......(ok this is kinda hard to do without going age inappropriate i am sorry if you are offended please don't read this spot even i am ashamed to be doing this on here.) we went to her room and started looking. "you see it octavia?" "no-wait yes it is here." man she had a taste for these things big and black it was.so we headed into the kitchen and i said to vinyl "hey me and octavia left a surprise in the fridge but listen to the instructions it has EXACTLY." so she went to the kitchen and looked at the piece of cake "so what am i-" "good morning birthday girl." we heard octi say "wait what?" vinyl said still looking at the cake

 

 

ok you figure this one out this goes against my nature i tried but lord knows i just can't do it

 

 

"well i can't say i didn't enjoy myself after that." i heard octi say "yeah that was just plain......AMAZING." i said sitting up. "well i didn't expect you to go into my room and get my black simulater." "happy birthday." i said

 

a few days after i decided '*sigh* i suppose i need to renew my connection somehow.' so i walked up to vinyl and said "vinyl listen i need to restore my conection with equestria somehow so i have decided to turn myself into a pony." she looked happier than ever "you know what that means? we can finally have our foal." i looked at her with a face she knew since the day she asked me for that. "oh come on joe." "listen i just don't think i am ready for a foal yet and besides what if we get divorced one day?" "well we can figure it out....wait are you expecting me to divorce you?" "no it's just-" "because i will divorce you in 1 dayif that's what you want!" i sighed "listen i just-" "nope thats it we are through." she stormed off through the door "octavia go and make sure she doesn't do anything regretfull." she nooded and went on her way in the meantime i ran over to the barn to get aj.

 

i ran into the house as fast as possible "WHERE'S AJ?" "why?" big mac asked "vinyls is divorcing me and i need to grab my stuff before she gets back." "upstairs i'll get her." i went outside to stash the harley and aj came running. "joseph i heard what can i do?" "either go stall vinyl or help me move stuff to the barn." "i can help you i have a place to stach everything." she opened the floor of the barn "been meaning to find a use for this." i smiled and hugged her we got to the house grabbed my  games and systems and then came back for the tv but we were too late. "what are you doing?" vinyl was standing in the doorway looking quite pissed "well i was grabbing my stuff." "you mean my stuff all in my name." "oh really?" i grabbed a golf club from my clubs. "um joe." aj tried to talk "nope." i smashed 2 windows "i said one more chance and you ruined it so i am going to ruin your house." "NO JOE." aj yelled tring to stop me "i ain't listning." i smashed 5 more windows "you brought this on yourself." i smashed the bass cannon. vinyl looked even more pissed "oh was that the bass cannon let me fix it." i smashed it even more then i got a hose and sprayed it down "there better?" i smiled as i said this "oh i forgot the dishwasher." "you wouldn't." "JOSEPH PLEASE." "STAY OUT OF THIS AJ." i didn't care if i died in this process. i proceeded to conjure up a flame current from my hands remembering that i am an allicorn. "BURN ***** BURN." vinyl looked really broken

 

"oh whats the matter afraid of your ex-WHOOOA" i screamed as she jumped on me trying to strangle me with her magic.just then celestia and luna popped through the door with guards and i remembered that luna became human to marry travis. "what is going on here?" "oh nothing just a little RENOVATION before i leave her for good." "so big mac was right." she must have heard big mac. "listen you don't need-" "fine i am out **** you all." i held a middle up as i walked. i got to the barn and started talking to myself again "i will show them all that i don't need them i will show them with the power given to me by CELESTIA HERSELF." i grew with the power and destroyed the barn and started my self enduced rampage "do you know what you have done?" celestia asked vinyl "yeah dumped an ass." "no when an alicorn becomes enfused with too much rage he or she will become a monster." "oh..." they looked out the broken window to see me throwing lightning strikes and fireballs at the town as if i was a dragon "there is only one way to stop him." "i know of the way you mean too well sister." vinyl gasped when she relized what she ment "no don't send him to the moon it was my fault." "yes but he has become too powerful to do anything else." vinyl stopped for a second remembering my words that morning 'i have been thinking i need to renew my connection to equestria somehow so i have decided to turn myself into a pony with magic.'  then vinyl knew what they could do "WAIT there might be another way." they looked at vinyl "well what is it?" "joseph said this morning that he wanted to become a unicorn would that help him?" "you might be on to something but sadly i only know how to turn a human into a peguses." "he would enjoy that too." so they prepared the spell to turn me into my dream a pegesus. then they blasted me.

 

as i was having my fun destroying the town out of blind rage i was trying to forget vinyl and all the troubles when all of the sudden a blast of light hit me square in the face and then i started to change "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHGHGHGHHGGHHGHGH." i felt my size start to go down i started to feel my magic fade away i felt my wingspan decrease and then finally my hands deformed to hooves and my organs changed along with my bones then i blacked out.

 

i tried to get my eyes open but they felt....different like they had changed from my eyes to pony eyes.then i remembered i was hit square in the face and turned into a peguses "ugh wha...." "oh my gosh joseph!" they all walked in and saw me "oh my gosh......" i looked at all of them "what you all look like you met your speacial somepony..." they all looked at eachother and laughed "boy i would like a piece of that der stallion." "i am not a stal-.......oh yeah i forgot about that." "enough i would like to speak to him in private." they all walked out of the room and celestia walked in. "joseph bresina you have caused chaos to the fifth degree with your misused allicorn powers what have you in defence?" i sighed and looked out over ponyville and saw the damage i caused "*sigh* nothing princess there is no excuse for what has happened to day i take full responsibility for what has happened here today i mean sure vinyl got me going but in the end it was me who started the fight because i just am not ready to have a foal with anypony yet and plus there is still a lot of things i need to learn before i really become a allicorn and husband for good." everyone heard what i said and walked in i saw vinyl with them "listen vinyl i am sorry for destroying the house and your bass cannon and dishwasher but sometimes you just gotta understand the time i have a foal will be a while." "it wasn't just you it was me too joe i kinda went off my rocker with that but yeah i will remember that." we all settled down for a while "so when do i get out?" "right now if you want." we walked out and i said so what should we do first huh guys i want to race someone and maybe prank someone as a pony and-" we saw the glow in mys chest and i said "what theeeeeeeeee." BAM we looked and found something celestia was surprised to see "i can't beleive it it's.....it's the missing element of harmony the final element.....the element of fun." we all gazed "um excuse me princess but the book of elements said nothing about a 7th element." "thats because the pages were gone and the book rewritten the element of fun was the last one but we had the 6 so we never needed it but now i beleive our new freind here is now an official element of harmony the final one at that." and so they gave me the spare room in the castle and i got my stuff from the barn in order to get ready for the life ahead of me

the final chapter......for now part 1

 yes this is going to be the final chapter for now it might be split up into 2 parts but we will see i have to decide weather i want to do the whole sequence of me dating the 6 to 7 girls or just do the wedding after explaing it.

it will begin right where it left off last chapter

 

it was a normal day nothing out of the ordinary heck you could now qualify me as a backround pony now since i am a pony.but things were still horrible for me because i still need to find somepony new so i have been thinking about it for days,weeks even to find somepony new and i have the following list.

 

1. lyra

2. daring do

3. zecora

4. octavia

5. rainbow dash

6. fluttershy

most of them are maybe's but we will start with daring do

 

i began my walk to a.k.yearlings hut aka daring do to talk with her. before i even knocked i heard "enter joe.".....? i opened the door and she was busy cleaning from the more recent experiance with ahuizotle's goons and whatnot "i know why you are here." "ummm what....i don't think so." "you are here to ask me on a date right?" i was surprised really. "how-" "how could i not see you rampaging the town." ohhhh crud "so you saw that....." "yeah i know you aren't an alicorn anymore but pegesi are just as capable of causeing that much damage." "yeah i guess so." "don't worry though i think the right mare is out there for you don't give up."

so with daring out of the list i went to try for octavia she said she would go out  to dinner but when i came the next day vinyl was at the door "oh hey vinyl..." "yeah listen octavia can't see you." " why?" " because if you get with her what does that make me?" " ok i kinda see your point there.worth a try though hehehe." "out." so that's octavia out and vinyl is even more pissed at me .there goes my fanship of vinyl

next i tryed to go for zecora i entered her hut "well if it isn't joseph, come right in i am working on a concoction that is explosive." "hi i needed to ask you something."

"well tell me it,bit by bit." "i was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere nice or do something."

"if it be a date, i am busy at any rate." i frowned "oh well ok just a random question."

"if you need help getting a mare, come back to get an affair." i wondered what she ment but i dared not ask.well with three mare's shot off the list i went for lyra next i went up to her house and she opened the door "hello mr.?" "it's me joe." "JOSEPH!?" she pulled me in and closed the door "so they turned you into a pegesi?" "yeah but it's not all bad." she grabbed my head "WHAT i thought having hands er i mean." "no it's fine i am over that now that i got hoofs." "right i guess thats one good thing but i thought having hands was great." "it was but what i ment was that i can now compare myself with any other pony and do things i wasn't able to do." "right well anyway why did you come here?" "i wanted to ask if you wanted to do something tomorrow." "sure we can go get dinner." "sounds fine by me i will be here by 12:00." i left to get some sleep

 

10:30 in the morning

i was sleeping when i heard something "my my he is quite incredible." i kept my eyes shut as i listened to the voices right next to me "looks like a party cannon to me." pinkie? "well i wonder if the magic helped it any." twi? "ooo the wonderbolts will be looking at this." dash? "it l-looks b-big to me." fluttershy? "looks like a good stallion ta me." aj? i immidietlly shot up as soon as i heard her voice and they looked at me "well looks like someone is "up" (ok you are not going to believe me i don't like this but lord help me the temptation is unresistable.) "whoa um girls i-" "ah ah ah we are goig to help you." just then lyra walked into the room "hey joe i got reserva- :O" she dropped her list that she was holding with magic "oh my celestia lyra wait." she ran out the door "LYRA WAIT PLEASE!" i panted "wait *pant pant* wait." i collapsed on the ground "JOSEPH." i seen the mane 6 running torwards me "NO YOU RUINED IT!" i flew torwards the flight academy and went through the door dash and fluttershy were right on me "spitfire hide me no time to explain." she hid me in one of the rooms. dash and fluttershy walked through "hey girls whats up?" "did joe come through here?" "uh nope he just left.why?" "we screwed up we didn't know he had a date and we kinda were "spying" him under the covers and lyra walked in." "ooooooooooooh ok well....*sigh* ok i know where he is but shh he is in the third door but he probably doesn't-" " yeah i know......" they walked in my room and looked around "listen joe.....we're sorry had we known you had a date we would've left you but we heard about how you were doing after vinyl so we planned that to cheer you up." i walked out of the closet "i don't know what to say." "nothing we are the ones who should be saying sorry we had no idea." we all walked back to the castle and i talked to lyra and she said we should see other pony's.

 

so that is part one next chapter i try for the last two fluttershy and rainbow dash in that order.

the final chapter......for now part 2

well this is it the final part to the final chapter and as i said i am going to include me attempting to get fluttershy in the last part and the marriage of me and dash so have fun

 

it began like any other day i was in the flyer's academy after what happened with the mane six because i don't want them screwing up my dates again so the agenda of today

 

1.fluttershy

2.rainbow dash

 

it is a long shot but hey i can try.i walked over to fluttershy's room in the castle and she was caring for the few animals she had in the castle now the plan is try to take a approach she would take act shy get to her level and..........kinda act like....her??? ok it's not a foolproof plan but a man can try. "h-hey fluttershy." "o-oh hey joe.what do you need?" "w-well i was wondering...if i-" i hesitated to sound nervous like she probably would "what is i-it joe?" "i w-was wondering-" i hesitated again then flutter spoke up "l-listen i know you would-" "i know i am so..........aaahhh i can't do this right now." "i ran off past the throne room with flutters after me and soon enough the other 5 were after me. "what happened fluttershy?" "i think he was trying to ask me on a date." i immeidietly ran past a.k.yearlings house to try to avoid them but soon enough i heard dash bust in the door of her house and she was after me to 'she must've aske daring to help.' i ran until i got past vinyl and octavia's house and i seen octavia running for me now 'dang none of this is working this is not how i planned for this to go with fluttershy' i then ran past lyras house rarity went in and lyra was after me. 'of course, there was only one 'zebra' that i could trust not to chase me. i ran for her hut in the everefree forest and i happened to have one of the smaller energy swords on me at the time (don't ask why) and i chopped a few trees down to slow them no luck i then saw the hut they were far enough behind to not know where i was. i jumped into the hut and zecora was meditating "zecora you gotta hide me please." " why what are you running from,and dear celestia joe what have you become?" she said looking at me i looked at myself seeing what she meant my custom clothes were torn my leg scrapped and leaves littered my body from various downed trees "yeah i know but i need to hide pronto or else i am going to be yelling bongo." bongo was supposed to mean help but it was my attempt at rhyming "JOSEPH WHERE ARE YOU." just as zecora was about to open the door i said "don't it'll just make things worse." "i could help this situation, it is my slight donation." i heard her say as she opened the door and i jumped out the window to escape "HE WENT OUT THE WINDOW, HE RUNS BECAUSE HE IS ALONE." and so zecora joined in the chase after me i ran to the cliff that i first fell for dash even though i was with vinyl at the time and almost killed myself at (see last book) i stood at the edge and looked back at them "well here we are again but this time i ain't falling to my death dash." i jumped off and soared away but the unicorns caught me with magic "oh no you don't." i flew faster and harder but no use i ran out of energy i came flying at them enough to hit the edge and almost fall off they took me back to the castle where we talked it over "so you were running because you thought you would be forever alone?" "yeah i mean all you girls rejected me and you left me because of an UNFORTUNATE event we won't speak off." they all looked guilty "wait joseph." i heard a voice speak up and i looked to see who it was. "listen joe after that prank date when you said those words i was really touched." it was dash. " i didn't know you felt that way about me until then but putting that aside for a few minutes you are not going to be alone." the zecora walked up even though you are alone,you have grown." then lyra stepped up "and besides if you werent lovable how do you think you got your wife 2 times even after she divorced you once-oh sorry." "don't worry." then octavia stepped up "and just because somepony says no doesn't mean they don't wanna go on a date somepony might be trying to stop them going on a date." i knew what octavia was talking about and then daring do came up "and just because i said no doesn't mean i don't want to get together i just work better alone and plus i would never forgive myself if a freind got hurt." then flutters walked up "plus if you don't know what to do to ask a mare out just be yourself." i smiled "awww man you got me tearin up here come here girls." we had a group hug and then dash spoke up "hey listen if you guys don't mind i want a minute with joe." they nodded and left the room and closed the door "so joe-" "wait....keep talking i am still listening." i said as i snuck torwards the door i approached the door and dashed mouthed 'what' i slammed the door open "AAAAAHHHHHH." "i figured you were listening." "ok ok we're leaving." i went back in and closed the door " now you were saying." "right as i was saying yeah that night was regreted because i had no idea you felt like that and plus if i had known you felt like that i would've really asked you out on a date in a flash." "really?" she looked at me "really really." i looked satisfied "i mean you saved equestria on more than 2 ocassions and if i could've married you then.well i would be a lucky mare." so i looked at her and said "dinner tomarrow at 6:00?" "definetly."

 

ok i guess i am doing a third part this was longer than i thought so have fun with the next one

the end....for now

 well i finally got bored enough to write the wedding of me and dash so if you liked this series give me enough veiws and faves and so on and i might continue writing my diary now for the final event i write about for now

 

it was the day of my final marriage and i was sure i was going to be finished with it for good no more marriage's and no more of this rediculous nonsense going between girls this was it.I got up from bed and took a shower i got the ring and the cake and yadda yadda i am skipping most of this cause you will be bored out of your mind by the time we actually get to the trip to canterlot.When we got ready to take the train to canterlot and a few portals opened up but not as many as last time "well i guess not many people had the time.can't say i blame them though..." and so marcus and the gang walked through samus came through in her zero suit this was a first, chief came through with jhonson and a few other marines and then we went on our way on the train to my final wedding.I stopped at the car with the guys in it since dash let me walk around "HEY JOE." i heard everyone say "boy you look different since we took that giant ass station down." "thanks i had a little episode with vinyl....she kinda got rid of me......and vise versa." nobody looked surprised "i kinda figured that wouldn't last long." "yeah and after i got to the barn i went on a power crazy rampage and this happened....at the same time i found out that i was the seventh element of harmony all along." we all talked for a while but i noticed samus quiet "hey aran whats wrong you look down whats up?" samus looked up to see what was happening "oh nothing it's just.....everything is so peaceful here and nothing is wrong hardly ever i just wish...."we sat there looking at her "i know how you feel....with the federation breathing down your neck about the x parasites and metroids. take a vacation here sometime if you really want i am sure celestia wouldn't mind." "yeah i just might do that." we talked the whole way and we finally got to canterlot and bla bla bla

 

i am not going to write this whole chapter word for word you know what happened just your run of the day wedding nothing speacial

the battle between the evil one and the hero

 A couple months ago luna came to me to tell me that a strong enemy was coming to destroy all of ponyville and soon to be equestria.I panicked but went straight to training i have been traning for the whole time and now it is time for the fight.If i fail this then i will die forever and equestria, destroyed i have my weapon my armor and the power i have been given all powers possible and now i must fight the dark one.

 

a couple hours later

 

 

As i readied to fight the dark one i strode through ponyville on patrol for him but when i heard some birds to the east i looked over there and then a big roar.I ran over to the area it was in and sure enough there he was slowly crawling his way out of the ground.

insert the heroic music i will put here if this is ok let me know otherwise give me suggestion

jack of blades (demonic dragon being)

I readied myself as jack exited the doom he was rid to and he finally spoke in his demonic voice "RRRRRRRARAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH FREEE AT LAST I WILL WRECK HAVOK ON THIS LAND AND DESTROY IT !" i stared at him as if this was going to be the last time i stood, which was VERY possible. "i don't think so you overgrown lizard full of evil." he looked over at me "ahh so you decided to show yourself you banished me and the sword and now i have more power than I COULD EVER IMAGINE!" i looked at him and i started to float into the air "no you are the same as you were when i defeated you in your human body, you are evil and now i will defeat you with the power of friendship....oh by the way have you heard of a dragon shout named dragonrend?" (yes i am making this reference) "no and i don't think it will help your weak body against me you fool." i laughed "no it's not for me you see dragonrend grounds a dragon temporarily so." as i backed up i readied the anchient shout made by humans "JOR ZAH FRUL!" as i shouted to jack and a great blue wind surrounded him "now i can use the shout i made myself for the elements the one that sends one back to southern guard back in skyrim (my own translation of sorts with translation.).......TOK (HONESTY) LAH (MAGIC) MID! (LOYALTY!)" i yelled the first half and he cringed "WHATS HAPPENING?" i laughed to myself "it is weakening you, you fool." i prepared the second bit " KIN (KINDNESS) LAU (LAUGHTER) GEN (GENEROSITY)!" he cringed more and hit the ground "NO DO NOT DO THIS I WILL END YOU!" i prepared the singular shout for my element similar to the unrelenting force shout " FUD (FUN) RO(BALANCE) SAHLO(WEAKNESS)!" he fell to the ground screeching in agonizing pain but he was not being sent to southern guard "wait why are you not-" he laughed while grinning through the pain "I am not of skyrim nor that dimension so it only weakens me to a amount so i am still HERE HAHAHAHAHAHA!" i grinned "yess but i still have the power to end you." i pulled out my sword and it glowed with the enchantments me and celestia put on it.

 

i prepared my self and placed another dragon rend on him to keep him weak while i prepared and another surprise "KRII LUN AUS!" i shouted and his dragon skin seemed to deplete and yet it stayed where it was "what in the?" i slowed time "TIID KLO UL!" and prepared the next shout "KAAN DREM OV!" and jack froze for about 5 minutes "that will shut you up for about a minute or 2." i pulled my blade and started to slice jack though it seemed to do little damage but i knew i was hurting him.I pulled back and went to slice him and he broke free he looked tired "y-y-you do not have the power..........TO DEFEAT ME!!!!" i laughed "yes i do." i used my magic and opened up a portal to tartarus and his dragon eyes went wide "wait i will cut you a deal!" i stopped and looked at him "what are you at dragon beast?" he snickered and said "i will put my soul into a mask and give it to you and we will rule this land together." he said just as celestia and luna came by to see if i was done but luna saw me and said "wait joseph......what are you doing?" she asked as jack exited his dragon body which withered away and transfered to a new mask.Luna noticed this and yelled "JOSEPH DON'T DO IT!" and as his old body disapated it turned to lava and i picked up the mask "yes NOW WE WILL RULE THIS LAND TOGETHER YOU AND I IN A NEW BODY hahAHaHAHAHAHA!" he said as i chuckled "not quite jack of bas****s!" i threw him into the lava and he burned up "NOOOOOOOO YOU SON OF A-" he couldn't finish as he soul was then burned and depleted as his soul went up in the smoke it was i chanted a spell "GODS ABOVE SEND THIS SOUL TO THE WORLD BETWEEN WORLDS SO IT MAY NEVER ESCAPE AND PEACE MAY ROAM AGAIN!" and a rift opened up pulling his soul in and it was soon over.

 

As celestia walked up to me she asked "is he gone what happened?" i answered "with a combination of very old dragon shouts, magic, and some good sword play i managed to weaken him to the point- as i guessed he bargained to give me his soul and we rule together-thus what luna thought was happening andi knew that after a time his body would turn to lava that was when i threw him into said lava and i knew i had to banish his soul somehow and so i cast a spell to send him to a world between our world and the spirit realm which he will not be returning to very soon." i sighed finishing my complicated explanation of what happened and luna sighed "good i thought you would be the bane of equestria and destroy us all......to an extent." she smiled after saying that "you thought i would be evil? why would-OOOOHHH THATS WHY well.......WAIT THAT WAS ONCE LUNA PLEASE THAT WAS A DIVORCE!" she chuckled "just kidding you." i smirked "clever girl luna clever girl."

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Publication Date: 09-29-2015

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