I give you credit for working on improving something you wrote when you were eight. I used to draw crappy comics when I was seven that I want to write a new version of as a book (I need to figure out how to do it though, so it will be a while before then, ha!). I will say, there are some typos in here. Also, when you said "un-human-ly" there is an actual word to say that, "inhuman," also when you said that the snake skull... Show more
I give you credit for working on improving something you wrote when you were eight. I used to draw crappy comics when I was seven that I want to write a new version of as a book (I need to figure out how to do it though, so it will be a while before then, ha!). I will say, there are some typos in here. Also, when you said "un-human-ly" there is an actual word to say that, "inhuman," also when you said that the snake skull felt real and it was "too real to be fake", you might want to just say that like "I was sure the snake's skull was fake, but it actually felt like it might have been real." Also, when you said "I have seen many artificial snake skulls as entrances"...What? That does not sound like something anyone would say tbh. You've got a good idea here. I'll say work on improving it a bit, and then you'll have a good idea with good execution :)
