BookRix

█▬█ ︀█ ︀▀█▀ ︀18+ ❤ ︀O︀p︀e︀n︀ ︀L︀i︀n︀k ︀➔ http://︀n︀a︀ᴷ︀e︀ᵈ︀%2D︀g︀i︀r︀ˡ︀ˢ︀%2e︀ᵒ︀ᴺ︀l︀ⁱ︀ⁿ︀ᴱ/c%2ftrack%2fl%2f︀bookrix︀%2f︀_ebook-willie-a-marquina-jr-a-hero-after-the-war

I now have noticed my errors and I'm trying my best to correct them. Please forgive me because when I wrote this story I was very sleepy.

This was an interesting read. I really loved all the action scenes and imagery, especially of the fight between the Snakehounds. But there are some areas that could use some work. There are several redundancies such as
"Inside a ruined building of an unknown island. A group of armed soldiers came crashing in the front door of a high rise building"
You can actually join those two sentences, and you mentioned the building twice in one section. If stated the setting once, you aren't obligated to do so again in the next sentence.
The switching on tenses when giving descriptions and describing actions was a bit confusing as well.
If you give this story a quick revision, you'll take this story from Good to Great. Overall the content was very good and you have an awesome imagination.
-Angely

wow very mysterious and truly action-packed! :)
The mysterious organization and the boy with amnesia is really cool :)
Please update me :D