first page
it didnt surprise me that he wasnt alone
should be was not wasnt
secind page
its spelt whoa not woah
third page
he said leaning to look at me which was mocked be Xavier so he couldnt
i think you meant blocked not mocked
page three again
we got to dance class and only to see...
the and isnt necessary
page like 5 i think..
i told her and she nodded sending him over to me"
the quotation shouldnt b there
pg 7 i believve
"my pen."... Show more
first page
it didnt surprise me that he wasnt alone
should be was not wasnt
secind page
its spelt whoa not woah
third page
he said leaning to look at me which was mocked be Xavier so he couldnt
i think you meant blocked not mocked
page three again
we got to dance class and only to see...
the and isnt necessary
page like 5 i think..
i told her and she nodded sending him over to me"
the quotation shouldnt b there
pg 7 i believve
"my pen." I squeked
should be squeaked
pp 7 again(i think)
he demanded and i could tell that he was furious"
another useless quotation next one is same page
Xavier its okay he didnt know
not gramatically correct
Xavier, it's okay; her didnt know
so obviously lots of mistakes im going out on a limb here and saying that this is a first draft. you should look over and reread everything before you post it. Then you won't have as many mistakes, and your work will be more detailed and interesting. It's always good to reread and edit; it's part of becoming an author. Anyways its a good story idea, but i'll be honest it was more interesting when we were talking about it. It needs more detail so i can feel like i am there. I dont know i love you and again the idea is great but...yeah