You
I was in music class and my teacher said we had to use a poem we made or make our own song to put music to. Me and a friend deiced to put music to our own song.

Keywords: 
Song
Posts and Comments
Important Post
angamonkey

the simplicity of this poem added a lot to it's meaning. I loved this and I am very glad that I found this on the swap thread. Make sure you try to avoid being redundant in some parts but other than that I'd say you are a very talented poet.

4 Comments
jacob1234

thank you

angamonkey

you're welcome :)

This comment was deleted.
This comment was deleted.
Important Post
blackjacob

Hey the hart was my friend is a hart and thats her name spelling.And I thank you for the criticism. I have really bad spelling.

Important Post
robbedbygreed

Liked it! <3 Though I do have some critiques:

You spelled heart wrong(you spelled it hart) at the end of the first stanza.

I love that you choose free verse and not the typical Shakespearean couplet.

However, I think the meaning being the poem seems a bit shallow. I can't really feel the feeling your trying to convey. That's just my opinion.

Good job! You have talent :)
Keep Writing!

---RbG

Important Post
felixthecat

I was intrigued by your message in the post, and so I opened your book.
I agree with kbaxter...you have talent. There are a few spelling errors, and I wonder...could you sing these lines? I mean, write music to them?
I've never written lyrics, but yours really show a lot of seriously good emotion. Do keep writing. Good job:)

1 Comment
jacob1234

Yes you could sing them that was the way they were meant to be. I write songs as pomes.

Important Post
kbaxter

you have true talent! i could never come up with such amazing words, i can tell you have put you feelings into words!

To ensure optimal functioning, our website uses cookies. By using the website you agree to the use of cookies. More info
OK
Top of page
No Thumbnail Remove Please choose a reason Please enter the place in the book. en en_US