There is plenty of emotion. I am sorry for your pain; for in order to write as you do you must feel it. May your day be blessed and your dreams come true!
How the short story version would have turned out--if you had tried to write one--I do not know, but yes, this poems is filled emotion that conveys the hurt and pain within.
Resigned...
Wow! I tried to imagine the situation that prompted you to write this excellent poem. Yeah, it's very, very good. Whoever is the object must be in great despair, but despite the seemingly endless reaching out, this person is dead in his/her world. Time to step away, I read.
Formatting? I'd suggest NO changes there, and I liked the fact that it isn't rhyming verse. It flows well. It's filled with emotion that so... Show more
Thank you so much, Patrick. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it.
Ah, poems. I don't know if this is any good, but it did feel satisfying. Just as a disclaimer - does deal with the darker side of life.
Thank you so much! Anything you think that specifically needs correcting, I would appreciate the pointers.
Oh...it did not have a happily ever after ending....big sigh!
Haha! I've never been one for the tragic endings myself, but I thought I'd make an exception with that story.
Thank you so much for the comment, I really appreciate it.