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Wow what a story, although you might want to do some editing. This was a heart wrenching love story.... about love, life and how being wronged would cause you do something you ultimately regret. It's nice that you showed Michelle forgiving Nikki; but I think you could have added more to the ending. Like how he responds to her letter, the guard finding Nikki's body in the cell, and how Michelle's new life was going... oh and... Show more
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njoyabl
Thank you for reading, and yes I was thinking of doing that. I kind of got stumped a little. It is my first shot at this writing thing. Thank you for analyzing, and I am working on what I would like to do with it.
Dean is right, shifting tense confuses the reader, if you are writing in present tense and need to shed light on something that happened in the past, the best way to do that is with a flashback scene or even better would be dialogue between two characters where they talk about... Show more
Dean is right, shifting tense confuses the reader, if you are writing in present tense and need to shed light on something that happened in the past, the best way to do that is with a flashback scene or even better would be dialogue between two characters where they talk about what happened in the past. Or just write everything in past tense(by far the easiest solution). but you definitely should pick one tense or another.
Thanks for the input. I can see where you are coming from.