I'm with felixthe cat on his comment. I have no idea what a Polymorph is. Your writing style is nice and you have the knack to keep your reader interested even if they don't know what a Polymorph is. Enjoyed your sample. Can't wait to read more of your books.
Polymorphs.
I have to admit, that's a new one for me, lol. But the thing is, you wrote a great story, and your characters breathed life!
I liked your professional-sounding narrative; how you were able to mix sentence lengths for effect. How you chose excellent words to convey various descriptions and moods, too. It shows great thought in your writing process...or perhaps its just a natural ability that you possess.
Particularly,... Show more
I am so sorry for doing this so late.... Anyways overall it was good, I just suggest going back through it a couple of times and reading it out loud. This generally helps most people to find mistakes. Once you have done this I think a lot of things could benefit from more descriptive language, but besides these to things I think it was an enjoyable read. Keep writing :D
I really don't like "jumping in' to a story where there is already a history...but besides my own opinion on that, well, done.
There are a few minor spelling errors, such as in your blurb, But ...happens" I think should be "But what happens".
I also suggest increasing the font size to make it easier to read.
OOOO, I really dislike those girls, a real sense of "nasty"! Well done!
i cant freaking wait to read more !!!!!!!:) its getting real good !!!