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The Bond.
I've no idea how old you are. My guess is, from the genre and characters, you are young. I congratulate you for creating this little book (which I assume you will continue with?). You write fairly well! I had no problem staying in the story--kind of liked the closeness of your two main characters--but there is one thing you might want to consider as you continue. Dwell on this; it will help you. Show. Write in-scene.... Show more
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darkangel2479
thankyou for the tip