Veiled spoiler...
You know, as soon as a story's alleged character turns into a *** or a ***, I can't help cringing, because it's been done so many times before.
But this one...I thought it was portrayed really well, and I had no resentment for the ***, in terms of it being the subject of the twist.
The story was poignant and engaging.
Loved it. A true winning story. Well done
Wendy xx
And the judges said:
I actually had two other stories vying for this spot, one of which was grammatically flawless with not a spelling or syntax error in sight. The other was smart, funny, and had almost no mistakes whatsoever. This one had a couple of grammar glitches. But when I weighed everything (according to my system as explained earlier), the story line and overall effect were so overwhelmingly beautiful and so... Show more
A beautiful well told story rebben. It takes skill to tell a good story in so few words. Well done.
Carol x
While the background (of suicide) is nearly beaten to death by every writer, ever... it only slightly undermines your story.
You've done an excellent job of writing down this creature's point of view and made it a very compelling and enjoyable piece.
Flaws and all it is very, very good.
This is a perfect example of writing a complete story that fits within the parameters of the task in as few words as possible. I am very impressed.
Two quick changes: shinny should be shiny. Starring should be staring.
Otherwise, great little story. Absolutely love the concept and the ending brought tears to my eyes. Great job!!