I just read your poem again. I know I left a comment some time ago. But I feel compelled to tell you how beautiful your poem is. I found it to be full of yearning and love for one's soul mate. Certain passages were subtle, yet sensual and delivered in a very tasteful manner. Your eloquent writing style reminds me of the great poets from centuries past. I thought of the story of Rapunzel as I read it.
It does my heart good, Melissa, knowing you came back to re-read. Yes, I meant to convey images of passion without being too overtly explicit. The art and acts of love in longing are that way--totally passionate, yes?
Comparing my writing to the old masters makes me blush. Thank you so much.
Patrick,
I really like this poem.
Captivating, touching, and intense poetry.
You are a the romance writer. :)
As I read this poem, the words just beat the breath away from my chest. You have some true talent. Keep writing, it would be such a dissapointment if I dont see your name on a book in a book store, for I would love to read it =)
Felix my friend,
The seventh line from the top, the word "stomach" to me seem incongruent(i.e earthy) in the otherwise ethereal and loving language of the rest of the poem. Otherwise I'm in awe of the powerful way you use words in the English language.i.e "Open my ears with the breath of your words"
"I have called for you, but no sound escapes my locked and feverish throat."
There are to many examples to quote them all. I'd have... Show more
:-)
Thanks so much!
I'm kind of chuckling...I didn't want to use a more southern exposure :-) , just lead the reader, lol. Thank you for reading, my friend...and thanks for the kind comments!
Patrick
Thank you so much. I'd hoped the poem would have that kind of effect on readers.
:)
I am so flattered that you liked it. Thanks for the read and the vote. To me a vote means I REALLY (really really really) liked the work:)