Your grammar far exceeds your age, first off. I sense also that you think deeply...and sympathetically concerning your peers. I like that.
You misspelled only one word. That in itself is a feather in your cap, You end with an invitation...so comforting. The entire short piece brought to mind the lives of Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, oddly enough. One who has suffered is the one who can truly help others who are suffering.
Nice, nice job, Nghi.
This had me bauling in seconds. I havent cried in ten years.
Thanx! I was crying while writing this! Knowing that my book was able to bring out that emotion to my audience makes me happy!
c:' ya. Ya but thanks for breaking the schools tough girls reckord on not crying XD
Yeah. I usually don't cry at all. I have a messed up mind...I started to laugh once when I saw a character die on TV. I didn't hate the character either, I just couldn't feel sad.
Thank you! I am glad you feel that way! I might actually go back into this book and edit it but I feel that it is fine in it's own way. I do want to know what I've spelled wrong as well, considering my laptop doesn't have spell check.
You know, I like your analogies very much..."Being dragged down by the weight of sadness matches the weight...by an anvil." Wonderful. Visual.
The typo: Page 3, last paragraph. "think" should be "thinking" in the sentence, "While others spend their time think of the future..."... Show more
You know, I like your analogies very much..."Being dragged down by the weight of sadness matches the weight...by an anvil." Wonderful. Visual.
The typo: Page 3, last paragraph. "think" should be "thinking" in the sentence, "While others spend their time think of the future..." Also, IF you rephrased another sentence in that paragraph, it might read better: "...condone the idea to take..." might better read, "...condone the idea of taking..."
At the very end, "...mistake that they made was and..." I'd like to see a comma following "was". Comma placement is a bit** sometimes. Even the best authors use, or don't use, this tiny punctuation mark capriciously.
These things I noted are SO minor. Writing in 2nd POV, btw, is difficult. You did well, VERY well.
Write more!