Hello. I am Icygem1300. I have written a book that revolves around the elements, too.
I plan to write a series of six(I think...).
I like your book a lot, even though I haven't read much:)
I hope to read it all, and would you mind reading my book and commenting on it?
The book is called Elementess.
Thank You, and sincerely
Icygem1300
I love it, it is hard to follow at first but the beginning defiantly hooked me. I think you should work on the white space, all the words tend to blur together when I read it. I think that you had a great idea and keep writing. :)
Good beginning, but be careful with the proofreading. There are some mistakes. Also let the readers form images, create the pictures as a puzzle, give them clues and let them create the bigger picture in their minds( It's called showing not telling, try to think about the difference). I can't wait to see the rest. :)