BookRix

brilliant story dear love it too much

I truly enjoyed the light-heartedness of this book. I hope you continue to expand upon Bogey's adventures.
Chris

On page 3 you say, she told herself. If she told herself, you need to use the dialogue tags. "It was far too early to be awake," she told herself...

If it's a thought, the only thing to fix is remove herself. Since she's the one thinking, of course she's thinking to herself. It was far too early to be awake, she thought, and closed her eyes again.

And on pg 5 you need to do the opposite. Since, she's thinking, remove the dialogue tags.

I really liked the story, it's a good read for everyone. You made it 16 and up. I don't know what you'll be adding, but what you have is good even for 10/12 year olds.