Good story, but you need to change the age group. No way is this appropriate for anyone under 16. The subject, as you mention in the book, is serious and people need to know it's not just an interesting plot device. I applaud you for handling in that way. But please go back to the edit page of the book and change the age group to 16 and up.
In terms of the writing, you seem to have a natural understanding of how a story arc... Show more
Good story, but you need to change the age group. No way is this appropriate for anyone under 16. The subject, as you mention in the book, is serious and people need to know it's not just an interesting plot device. I applaud you for handling in that way. But please go back to the edit page of the book and change the age group to 16 and up.
In terms of the writing, you seem to have a natural understanding of how a story arc should be devised, and an awesome talent for character development. Aside from the kinds of mistakes that all of us make in terms of typos, spelling, etc., this is very well done.
A note about point of view - you don't need to tell the reader that a new section is from a certain person's POV because the way it's written makes it obvious. If you're writing in first person, all you need for identification is for another character to address the person from whose POV you're writing, using his or her name. When writing third person, just be sure to mention the person's name in the narrative or dialogue tag.
You have a lot of ability, and I hope you keep developing your writing skills. We need writers like you on this site - you're a great example for all the new writers who are struggling with the things you've already figured out how to do, not to mention the writing sense that comes naturally to you - bravo! ')
lol this was published 6 years ago and will likely never be finished
why