BookRix

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Nicely written, great beginning, strong characters, and a fascinating story line so far.

I'll have to read it a little at a time, since I work 3 jobs in addition to being an editor and working on my own books, so I'm going to save it to my Favorites in order to get back to it easily.

A couple of minor observations. In Chapter One you start off with it being Thursday night, but suddenly it's Friday. Was the part supposed to be the next night, or was "Thursday" is mistake? Needs clarification either way, but no big deal.

Next, when describing his father, Reese sounds at first like he isn't very fond of him, especially when he says he tried to forget his father's status as a Vampire prince, but a couple of sentences later he says they're very close. Maybe reword the initial narrative about his dad so it doesn't stop the flow with the seeming contradiction.

And finally, since you're talking about rape and use occasional expletives, you should change the age group to sixteen and above - the BookRix Code of Conduct is pretty clear about that kind of thing, mainly because a lot of our members are between the ages of 9 and 14. If their parents see them reading a story with adult themes, they might go after BookRix about it. In today's world, an alarming number of kids are all but immune to such references because of video games, relaxed movie ratings, and YouTube/Netflix being so easily accessed. But there are still a number of parents who try to instill a stronger moral core in their kids, and they're the ones the Code is in place to protect. But again, no big deal - just didn't want you to potentially run into trouble over that one.

You're among a refreshing few on this site who really know how to write, who understands story arc and how to produce realistic situations and dialogue. What a pleasure to read something like this! I'm looking forward to continuing to see where this goes. Thank you for posting it - it's a great read!