You have a delightful sense of humor I noticed in the comment below! LOL Actually you write quite well. You have a good vocabulary, it's been awhile since I have read the word 'molder'. You do well at moving the scene. I would suggest using 'mum' when the child calls out to their mother. Building the story well, good emotion. Robynn
Tommy's Troubles
By: Marisa Cooper
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Rgabel