Sorry if I cannot reply for those who comments on my book, I'm super busy. This is the second time I visit my acct. anyway I'll be graduating this coming March 31. That is the reason why I'm so busy because I have to finish all the requirements. So wish me luck on my grad day! all comments Are higly apprecaited. love you all.
-Aserly.
P.S I'm still writing and editing the Midnight Demons. I'll find a time to post the new... Show more
Good possibilities/
Sentences need work/
Imagination is very good/
Grade c for grammar/
Grade a for first book./joeparente
There are definite problems with the presentation, but I really liked how you started this story. She didn't get far, did she? A vampire might not have been the best choice for a first wish. :-) So the story line sounds like a good one. The presentation needs some work. I'm going to send along a couple of suggestions in private and hope this will help you out. Nobody gets it perfect on the first write, or rough draft. Give... Show more
Hi, this story does have great pontential, and it is interesting, but just take the advice from Robynn, and go through and fix errors. But I really shouldn't say anything I awful at structure and grammar, but its a good start, anyway have a good one!
You have a great story telling talent. I liked this story very much. Kept me interested to the end. I say this gently, we all had to hear it, you need help in structuring your sentences. You have a lot of missing words. Your characters are strong, you portrayed them well. Your story is unfolding well, you just need to work on grammar. I would also drop the prologue. You explain it again later. Keep on writing, it is a good story. Robynn
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