BookRix

Your story sounds like it's going to be a good one, just the standard stuff needs working on (spelling and grammar). Nothing everyone else here doesn't need improvement with. Zebras? Interesting... Any particular reason or did it just pop into your head when you were trying to think of something fast? You could go into more detail about their camp. Like, what they were eating, or what it looked like, how it was set up... that kind of stuff. Character descriptions would be nice too. You have a good story, it just needs some proof reading and polishing.