First off, a very interesting and inviting title. I sensed as I read them an avante-garde approach, and I must agree with mosey of the comments posted. #3 situated me quickly into a definite scene, with clear caracterizations and pithy observations by your narrator. Certainly, in my estimation, the best of the three. Very nice indeed.
You have a very unique voice in your writing. Very good.
However, your thoughts are all over the place, making it very hard for your reader to understand the point your trying to get across.
The first drabble completely overwhelmed me, as I could barely understand what was written, though I did get a sense of dread and hopelessness when reading it.
The second was better, much clear than the first, but still a bit jumbled.
The... Show more