funny thats all i gotta say im not done reading though
its got potential, although i did spot about a hundred grammatical, punctuational and spelling errors. but i like the plot! its good so far! keep it up, though i HIGHLY recommend fixing those errors. oh, and the hundred bit was an exageration, but you know what i mean, right?
You definitely got a good plot and i'm eager to read more the only thing i would suggest is maybe going onto a new line when a new person is talking it just makes the book easier to read. It was good and i like it but it was a little difficult to read and understand. Keep me updated i'd love to read more
~Rain
ya i just started this today. kinda. and im sick so im not realy thinking straight. but im still writing it i might finish ch. 1 tonight but im not sure
good flow of story. Enjoyable read, but there's still not enough there to really get up to speed. I've got a book with large fonts like this too, and ten pages is like five. Still, at least its easy to read. Good start - just need some more story.. keep writing.