BookRix

I loved this poem, thanks for sending it around again! Moving.

Enigmatic, a lot of meanings condensed and bi-valent. So abstract it let's one invent the story. Great Laz.

this is really good great job

Your writing is amazing! That poem was so deep and emotional. Great job!!

Full of feeling and sentiment, as your work so often is...

A sunday morning, the sun is out, I am about to share a walk in the garden with a friend, listening to a piano sing on the slight breeze, hand carry a favorite, a bloody mary- (I am not a big drinker)- and as a prelude, turned to your Brass Ring- ah yes, just beyond our reach- the whole world ! thanks for the read

Coal has a volume of memories associated with it. I've climbed to the top of those mountains,etc.

However, back to your poem.

I think as it stands it is good. Where I wondered about was the introduction of the word essay, so there I was split between the essay and the poem. I'd have loved it if you pulled in those blank pieces of intro prose and made or/ hammered them into your poem,to underline the progression.

One other thing needed is to smooth out the meaning of the brass ring and what it represents, explaining what slipped out from the grasp of your father, and somehow then drawing the threads all together. But you are nearly there. That's good.

The test. Read one page. Cover it. Read the second page. Cover that and then think of the supportive link between the two. The division is hairline going one of two way. But the only one interesting you is making the two pages gel more together.

Again my impression , for what it's worth. But if I said nothing you'd never pause to consider. It is only thinking about things that starts off the action.
Best wishes
Cleveland
poetry award winner, https://www.celj.org

I wish I could do this.
Really good
Wendyxx

Solid stuff. I believe at the core of most writers beats a poetic heart. You have to feel something for your work and that passion alone is poetic!

Another good piece by you who has written so many I really enjoyed it.