the only thing i would say is its very short. i think u need 2 make it a bit more describtive, i like the idea, but i think u need more resistisance from Chole, after all James did murdr her ma, n i dnt think id fall in love wit him str8 away. personally. tht would b the only critasm, aprt from tht good :)
Sometimes i forget I am an Old Geezer. there was a Hostage situation in Helsinki during the 1972 Munich Olympic. the Hostages formed a kind of friendship with the ones that took them hostage, However the term is a knockoff of the "Stockholm Syndrome" that was it's original name, and came from a Hostage situation during a bank robbery in Stockholm.
I hope this clears it up for you. You can also Google Stockholm Syndrome if you... Show more
Taking into account your age, the current trends, and how I wrote at your age, I think you are a good story teller. You definitely are able to write in the moment and about emotions.
You will develop, you have the desire and drive to write about what is around you and this is good.
Now, to be the best writer you can be, it is time to start working a little harder. Go back and read some of your favorite books. Look how the story... Show more